by Lucky Charms

Disclaimers: See Part 1.

Feedback is always welcome: luckycharms@e-scribblers.com.

Copyright © 2004 by Lucky Charms. All Rights Reserved.

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"Ah-hah," Lyan said as Marie loomed over her. "You do realize I'm a Princess and am subject to certain treatment!"

"Oh don't worry Princess," Marie motioned to a pair of Rogues that appeared at her command. "We'll take real good care of you." As the Rogues took Lyan out, Marie turned to Steve. "I know what you're up to Steve. Try all you want, but as soon as I rule this world, you will bow to my will. The same with the rest of you." She finished with giving the men a dirty look then walked out of their tent.

"What do you think they're going to do to her." A man asked Steve after they were alone again.

"Torture her probably," Steve said with an unconcerned shrug. "Maybe keep her alive just long enough to kill her before her mother. You know how crazy these women are..."

"There is no sign of the Princess," an Amazon said, bowing before the Queen. "We are still searching however..."

The Queen let out a strained sigh. "Thank you. Continue with the search." She rested heavily into her seat and shut her eyes. "What in the name of the Goddess could she be doing?"

"She'll be fine, Majesty," an accompanying Amazon said comfortingly, deserving nods from the Council Members.

"Any word on the status of Marie's army?" the Queen inquired.

"They are beginning to mass near our border," the previous Amazon replied. "Our scouts are doing what they can, but it doesn't look good. There is a rumor that they will attack before sundown."

The Queen looked up into the sky and saw that the sun has just touched the peak of the Goddess Mountain. "Get whatever available fighters we have ready," the Queen said with a heavy heart. "We will fight..."

"Republic protocol strictly prohibits any and all involvement with non-Republic situations Captain Wangfred," the computer stated as Wangfred strutted toward the Teleporting Room. "Going any further will assuredly see that you are removed from command..." The Captain paused as the door slid open. "...Good luck sir."

Wangfred smirked. "Thank you computer. The Pussy Willow is ready?"

"Of course," the computer answered. It seems that the only time Wangfred and the computer get along is when either 1) Wangfred's life or career is in jeopardy or 2) ... well actually there is no other time the two get along. "It will be ready at your command."

Wangfred stepped on the teleporting pad and ordered, "Beam me down Slutty!"

Wangfred appeared several feet above a lake located outside Lyan's camp and let out a loud curse before he plunged into the chilly water. "You traitorous Bi-..." "...tch!" Wangfred roared as he emerged from the water.

After taking a moment to dry himself out as best he could, Wangfred marched over to the nearby encampment and was greeted by very confused looking women who happened to see Wangfred appear out of nowhere and scream a curse to some unseen person. "Greetings! I am Captain Wangfred Pussenboots of the Star Ship Kitty Cat. I come in peace. Take me to your leader and all that."

The Amazon's noticed the color of Wangfred's attire and erupted in laughter. "Okay, we'll take you to the Queen," a blonde Amazon snickered between fits of mirth.

As Wangfred walked toward where the Queen was awaiting, several curious onlookers watched Wangfred before laughing outright. That damnable computer... I knew the color pink meant that...

"Captain Wangfred?" the Queen broke his thoughts. "Interesting, you don't look like a man. What tribe are you from?"

Wangfred's eye twitched. "I'm not from this world, if that's what you mean your Highness. I come here on important business. Your people are in danger, you realize." The Queen nodded. "And you know that an Amazon by the name of Lyan is being held captive by your enemy." The Amazons gasped in horror. "I guess you didn't then..."

"Lyan is my daughter, the Princess," the Queen explained. "Things have turned for the worse. Are the troops ready yet?"

"They are assembling as fast as possible your Majesty. But we don't know how long they will be able to hold out against Marie's forces. Messengers have been sent out on our fastest horses..."

"Then we'll just have to pray to the Goddess for a miracle." The Queen sighed. "Forgive me Captain Wangfred, but I must prepare for a war that was never meant to happen."

"Actually there is something that I can do for you...," Wangfred said with a sly grin.

"Ow will you stop that?" Lyan scowled as she was roughly tied to a pole placed on a hill overlooking her home. "If you have to tie me up, at least use leather!"

"Nothing personal Princess," the Amazon responsible for tying her up said in hushed tones. "But I've got my orders."

"Why do you fight for her?" Lyan asked. "Don't you see what you're doing is wrong? Look at all those innocent people!"

"Don't you think I don't know that?" The Amazon snapped back. "But I've got my family to think about. If doing this means that they'll live after this, then I'll do whatever it takes."

Lyan watched with wide eyes as the Amazon turned away from her, barely catching a look of regret on the other woman's face. "Oh this is just great," she said with a huff. "I've got to stay on this stupid thing and watch everybody fight. Oh this is torture all right! Making me sit back and taunt me with promises of blood! You're a monster Marie!"

"What is she going on about?" Marie inquired of the nearest Rogue, who shrugged in response. "Well it won't matter in a matter of moments. Soon all that she loves will be gone."

"Ma'am," A Rogue Scout trotted up on a horse. "They are beginning to hide in their homes. But there are some who are up in arms."

"So they're actually going to fight us, eh?" Marie said with an amused look. "Then let's not disappoint them." Marie looked back to the Goddess Mountain.

The reason the Goddess Mountain is called thus is because it's two peaks are curved just so when the sun falls to a certain level, it looks like the Amazon symbol of the Goddess, two crescents above the sun. Ironic how Marie waits for just that moment to call the attack.

Wangfred and the Amazon Queen stood and watched as the Rogue Horde descended from the hill, letting out a mighty war cry. "Wait just a bit longer," Wangfred cautioned to the line of archers behind him. "Just a little longer... a little longer...." A light glinted in his eyes as he grinned. "Now!"

The archers, on the command, unleashed their arrows that fell several feet before the Rogues. Seconds after they touched ground, the large sacks on their shafts exploded, releasing a sticky substance. Unable to stop due to momentum, the front line of the Rogues slipped and fell, screaming in outrage. "Honey?!"

"Fire!" Wangfred called again and the second line of archers unleashed another barrage of specialized arrows that exploded above the Rogues, releasing countless chicken feathers. Wangfred let out a delighted whoop.

"Dare they mock me?!" Marie cried. "Second line, attack!" she roared as she lead the second wave of attack against the Amazons.

Steve watched as the whole of the encampment, save a few guards, moved to battle with a smirk on his face. "You can kick around the pup when it's young...," he began sagely as a friendly Rogue handed a sword to him. "But you better watch out when the pup grows up. Ready men?" Steve looked back at the small group of Men who all nodded.

"Thank you for your help," Steve said, turning to the guards who helped free them. "This will not go unrewarded."

"It looks like they're meeting some resistance in the field," the guard reported with a cautious smile. "I pray that it is enough. Go with the Goddess, all of you."

The sounds of clashing metal was heard all around as the Rogues went into battle against their sisters. Wangfred gleefully ducked into the shadows and awaited the moment to strike the next phase of his plans when he heard a sound he never thought he'd hear on this planet. The deep sound of men's voices. "And what to my wandering eyes should appear?" Wangfred looked and watched as a group of scantly clad men, bulging with muscles and perfect tans, descended upon the Rogues from behind. "Oh this is too perfect! Go guys, go!"

"Wangfred?" the computer said. "Are you ready yet? I'm tired of waiting and you've been lucky so far that no one has died yet."

"Oh yes, that's right," Wangfred replied, unable to keep his eyes off a certain man in the middle of the fray. "I'll be in position momentarily." The Captain sneaked off.

Lyan tried screaming out to the men to help her off the pole, but was brutally rebuffed. "Stupid men. All they think about is fighting, kill, and grilling something." She let out a breath. "I hate them all."

"It's about time that I found you," Wangfred said, appearing beside Lyan with a huge grin on his face.

Lyan peered down at Wangfred and began howling with laughter. "Oh my Goddess are you for real?"

Wangfred's smile vanished. "I know what this color means on his planet, and I have my computer to thank for that. Right now how about you shut your mouth while I get you down."

"Thanks," Lyan said as she was released from her bindings. "You're kinda pale aren't you? I mean, aren't men supposed to be tan and well," she looked at Wangfred with a critical eye. "More built?"

"Shut up," Wangfred replied. "We better hurry, it's almost time for the war to be over."

Marie found herself face to face with the Queen and let out a laugh. "We finally meet."

"Marie," the Queen muttered, facing her foe. "What have you done with my daughter."

"Nothing, yet. But she will soon suffer the fate you're about to face by my blade!" The two skilled warriors clashed blades when a voice rang all around them.

"Umm, testing, testing, one, two, three..." The voice made a few clicking sounds through a bullhorn. "Oh, it works. Excuse me all you fighting Amazons down there. Some of you may know me as Captain Wangfred... STOP FIGHTING! Geez that's rude." Wangfred looked over to Lyan. "Honestly, can't a guy get a word in with you people?"

"Ah-hem," he continued back to the stunned fighters. "Anyway, I'm here to announce that this war is over. So go back to your homes now and do whatever it is you people do on your quaint little planet."

"Give me that," Marie snatched a bow and arrow from a nearby Amazon and aimed it at Wangfred before letting it loose.

"Watch out!" Lyan cried and watched, astonished, as the arrow bounced off Wangfred.

"You almost got me killed," Wangfred snarled at his wrist communicator.

"Sorry. I got distracted," the computer lied.

"Well now that that's over." Wangfred tossed the bullhorn aside and cried out, "Go Pussy Willow!" Suddenly a massive tank appeared above Wangfred and slammed onto the ground behind him. The Amazon's were frozen in terror.

Marie thundered forward. "I will not be beaten so easily!"

Wangfred jumped into the tank and aimed it at grouping of trees then blasted them to kingdom come before he aimed the nozzle directly at Marie. "You were saying?" Wangfred's voice asked sweetly over the tank's intercom. "I think you might want to surrender right about now. I'd hate to, well actually I'd love to blow you to smithereens right now but this is a PG story and I do have principles you know."

So Marie agreed to surrender and spend a life of exile far away so that she might not cause trouble again. Later that evening the Queen of the Amazons held a massive celebration of their victory. Marie was forced to serve Steve and the other men before she was kicked out for good.

"So what do you think Lyan?" Wangfred asked. "You'll be my Commander, you know. Second in command and all that."

Lyan's eyes glistened at the idea of some real adventure and a life without borders and looked over to her mother. "Can I, mother? I know I have duties as Princess to the Amazons, but I think it would be great if I could just go out there and expand my horizons a bit. You know, be all that I can be." Wangfred left to go talk to Steve.

The Queen pondered over the situation for a while. It would take some getting used to, not having Lyan around and everything. But she was rapidly becoming her own woman and had to make decisions for herself. "As long as you promise to write," the Queen said with a smile.

"Yes!" Lyan cried. "I'll go pack!"

"It likes you too," Wangfred said in that slimy way used car salesmen say as they slither in for another kill as he walked up to Steve who was busy admiring the Pussy Willow.

"There's something about it that makes me wanna scream, HOAH!" Steve said in awe.

Marie watched as Lyan ran off to gather her things and pulled out a knife before rushing after the Princess, screaming bloody murder. When suddenly... there was nothing left of her but smoldering sandals.

"Honestly," Wangfred said innocently as he emerged from the tank. "I don't know how that happened!"

The moons were just beginning to set when the party began to settle down and Wangfred said that it was about time they left. Lyan looked back at her family and friends before walking over to Wangfred.

"Hey!" Steve ran up. "Can I come too?"

Yes! Wangfred mentally cried out in glee. "Uh, sure," he said a little more professionally. "The more the merrier!"

"Then I wanna come too!" a random Amazon cried.

"What was that?" Wangfred feigned sudden deafness as he, Lyan, and Steve began to fade away. "I have horrible hearing in my left ear. Goodbye everybody! Nanu Nanu!"

And so, as Wangfred, his new Commander Lyan, and Steve fade away from sight our story moves on to another chapter. Who knows what lies in the Great Beyond, but you can guess that wherever there's danger; Captain Wangfred Pussenboots and the Star Ship Kitty Cat will be there.

The End

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