by Lucky Charms

Disclaimers: Nothing to disclaim. Just good, clean fun here.

Feedback is always welcome: luckycharms@e-scribblers.com.

Copyright © 2004 by Lucky Charms. All Rights Reserved.

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Now I’m going to have to take your imagination hostage for a moment and force it to imagine a world that isn’t exactly a world. It’s more of a world in progress. It’s only a quarter done, actually. Sorry.

The inhabitants of the world, brilliant species that they are, have known and lived with this phenomenon for as long as they can remember and dutifully called their home planet "Quarter Done".

On a quaint grassy hill there is a house. Not a grand house, by any means; but just enough house so that the owner can live comfortably. The yard is well kept. The garden is small and bears life to the occasional flower and vegetables.

Sarah emerges from her home and stares out into the green distance as she usually does in the morning. Sarah has found that slowly waking ones mind is better than jarring it into action, so she just takes a moment or two and stare blankly at nothing while she lets her mind slip out of bed and look for it’s slippers.

Her hair is blonde and kept just above her shoulders. Her eyes are blue. But that is the only exceptional thing about her really. Sarah has mastered the unassuming, normal look.

When her brain has had its morning cup of coffee, Sarah tugs up a strap to her blue overalls and rolls up the sleeves to her white cotton undershirt before she trudges along in her booted feet towards her pen.

Sarah is the keeper to a renowned flock of two sheep. Sarah doesn’t mind if she’s the laughing stock of the Sheep Keeping Community. She holds to the belief that if anyone can manage to look after more than her ungodly pair of sheep, they deserve to make fun of her. Until such time, bugger off!

As Sarah arrives at her pen, her pair of sheep looks up and bleats a greeting. Rather, the cute little white one named Julia bleated a greeting while Lilian, her black one, managed to convey a bleat that told Sarah that if she weren’t fed immediately she’d have a sudden encounter with a brick.

"Hello guys." Sarah says as she goes about tending to her sheep. Julia nuzzles affectionately against Sarah’s leg, while Lilian attempts to take a chunk out of her pen-mates tail just because she was bored.

"Looks like it’s going to be another normal day, huh?" the Shepherd goes on to herself, not really expecting the sheep to respond. She was actually happy that her life until this point has been anything but exciting.

Sarah’s family has this genetic disposition to go on adventures. Her parents, now retired, were famed heroes who have clashed swords with evil wizards, demons, and mythological beasts.

It was at this moment, when Sarah was celebrating the sheer normalcy of her life when the air around her gets this odd greasy feeling and tasted slightly of tin.

Sarah knew this feeling and grimaced. This happened all the time back at home. A God was coming for a visit.

"Hail oh Keeper of Sheep!" A voice bellows from behind Sarah, who was doing her best to ignore it. "Fall to your knees and behold the words I have-..."

"Go away." Sarah interrupts.

"Excuse me?" The god was taken back.

"I don’t want anything to do with whatever quest it is you have in mind for me, okay? Ask one of my cousins, I’m sure they’ll be more up for the task."

The god, who took the form of a well endowed young woman with cascading hair as pale as starlight, with flesh as soft and as radiant as flower petals in spring, with eyes as green as emeralds, raised a perfect finger and opened her mouth to say something, closed it again, then sat down on a grand throne with appeared in a flash of light and the voices of singing angels.

"You’re still here." Sarah commented as she went about her business of ignoring the goddess.

"Yes, well, you see. I was going to ask your cousin Bill, but he has a bit of a cold right now. And well, your aunt Hilda sort of has had a run in with a basilisk and you know how that always turns out."

"So?" Sarah finally turns, hands on hips, and faces the goddess. "You’re a goddess aren’t you? Can’t you just snap your fingers and all will be well?"

The goddess looked very embarrassed. "Well, normally I would but..."

"Yes?" Sarah encouraged.

"Here’s the thing." The goddess states with a long sigh. "There is a problem Up Above and we need someone with real hero potential to handle it. There has been a sort of an accident," the goddess continues. "We were having a Luau the other night when Guinessius, God of the Drink as I’m sure you know, had just a little too much to, well, drink and he knocked over the Stone."

"The Stone?" Sarah gives the goddess a blank look.

"Yes, the Stone." The goddess repeats. "It sort of holds this world together and gives us gods our powers. And, right now, we don’t have that much to speak of. I had to actually walk here all the way from Mt. I’ll-Have-It-On-Your-Desk-By-Tomorrow-Morning you know."

"Impressive." Sarah admitted. It would take any normal person months to walk from Mt. I’ll-Have-It-On-Your-Desk-By-Tomorrow-Morning to here. "And your hair is still silky clean."

The goddess blushes guiltily. "Don’t tell anyone else, okay? We’re on rations. This throne alone is enough to get me flogged. So what do you say?" She quickly changes the subject.

Sarah grimaces. "I’m guessing it would be pretty pointless of me to say no, right?"

The goddess nods, grinning. "Very."

"Okay, fine. I’ll do it." Sarah puts a finger up when it looks like the goddess was about to say something. "But only this once. I want to make it very clear that I don’t want you gods to come bothering me asking for help with quests. Once this is done, no more."

"Of course." The goddess agrees. "So you’ll be off then? No time to lose. End of the world as we know it and all that." She gets off her throne and looks ready to leave.

"Wait a second. I have no idea where to even start!" Sarah cries.

"Oh that’s easy. Every good Hero has to have a wizard." The goddess calls over her shoulder.

"But where do I find a wizard?" Sarah calls back.

"Head south to the city of Traffic. The council of wizards is there. They’ll help you."

Sarah frowned. She didn’t hold much with wizards. They were such... strange people. Always doing erratic things. Messing with the occult. Sarah didn’t know what the occult was, but it sounded dangerous and far too exciting.

She looked back at her sheep. Julia was busy trying to fend off Lilian who discovered the joy of poking things with sharp sticks. Sarah knew she couldn’t leave her pair with any sane person. And leaving them with an insane person was equally as risky to the person’s health.

"Alright you two lets go. We have work to do." Sarah grabbed her hook, waited for Julia and Lilian to walk up before heading for Traffic. 

Why, do you ask? A few years ago a wizard lived in the city that, by itself isn’t a very strange thing, as the council of the wizards exists there. This particular wizard has had a reputation of causing trouble of biblical proportions.

Aeryk knew he had the gift for magic at a young age. The moment he learned how to walk, he knew he didn’t hold with the physical labor so he created a little pink cloud (pink is his favourite color), which he used to zip around the house and gleefully knock into things giving his mother no end of torment. The family cat has never been the same.

The say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. This is very true. While Aeryk likes to believe he has a mean bone in his body, he is actually quite harmless. Unless you tell him otherwise, then he’ll do something to you just out of spite.

When Aeryk moved to the city of Traffic, all he saw were targets and he made good use of his favourite cloud and wreak all kinds of havoc. After nearly two years of this, the people formally asked (with torches and pitchforks) that Aeryk be evicted from the city for good.

All to happy to comply, the wizards set Aeryk loose upon the world believing it was high time they had to deal with the mad wizard.

Sarah, of course, didn’t know about this and it was just as well she didn’t. The shock of learning that that very wizard was destined to be her companion is far more entertaining.

Sarah and her sheep paused a moment just outside the city gates and looked around. The guard was busy examining his fingernails and paid little heed to the funny, metallic crunching sound coming from behind.

"Um, excuse me?" Sarah asked.

"Halt!" The guard starts, throwing his palm before Sarah. "Who goes there?"

"Goes where?" Sarah looks behind her.

"I meant you." The guard says feeling a little foolish. "You see we’ve got to say things like that yah know? Tradition."

Sarah gives the guard a look. "I see."

"So who goes there?" The guard asks again.

"Um, my name is Sarah and these are my sheep Lilian and Julia." She motions to the sheep shaped air beside her.

The guard looks to where Sarah motioned, seeing nothing but space, then looks back to the woman with the crook and narrows his eyes suspiciously. "Sheep eh? Magical invisible sheep are they?"

"What? Of course not." Sarah looks beside her where Julia and Lilian should have been, then grimaces. "Oh hell. What are you both doing?"

Lilian and Julia stick their heads out from behind the guard, looking slightly guilty with pieces of fabric with hearts stitched in them in their mouths.

There is a slight breeze.

Sarah and the sheep duck in an alley way and watch, panting for breath, as the guard barrels past them with murder in his eyes and his hands covering his exposed bum.

"You both should know better." Sarah admonishes her charge. Julia gives Sarah a totally abashed look while Lilian bleats evilly. "Anyway, lets go find the wizards and get this quest taken care of."

Very cautiously, Sarah pokes her head out of the alleyway and steps into the sunlight. There were no underwearless guards in sight.

Sarah and the sheep emerge finally and begin walking around town in search of the Wizard’s Council.

One would expect the Council hall to be this ominous castle looming above the city on a great hill; dark clouds, thunder, and all. Actually the Hall is a rather homey looking building, brightly coloured with magical balls of light dancing around a large sign reading "Wyzzrd’s Cowncyl" militaristically.

"They even have hanging potted flowers." Sarah mutters to herself as she stands outside the Hall. Julia takes an experimental nibble off a flower only to be brutally rebuffed by it’s neighbour.

"Murderer!" The flower cries in a high-pitched squeal.

The astonished sheep cowers behind Sarah looking wretched as she lowers a petal on the ground reverently.

Sarah didn’t notice any of this, as she was busy pounding on the door. "Anybody home?" She demands.

The door opens slightly, admitting a gray eye to look upon the one who interrupted his afternoon nap. "Who goes there?" the eye demands.

"Not this again." Sarah sighs. "Look, I’m here for a wizard."

The eye narrows. "Who sent you?"

"Um. Never got her name." Sarah says, embarrassed. "Tall, leggy. Big-breasted goddess..."
"Ah, that would be Aphrodisiac." The eye says knowingly. "What does she want this time? It had better not be for another magic mirror. The last one we gave her had this indecent smile on its face it took us weeks to remove."

"Um, no. She sort of sent me on this quest." Sarah offers.

"A quest is it?" The eye says approvingly before it expands to reveal an elderly man with a long white beard, a pointy hat of inexpressible gaudiness and a robe of equal fashion disaster. Apparently this wizard had a thing for multicoloured ribbons. "Come on in then. You have to speak with the council and all that. Usual protocol for this sort of thing, you understand. Who are these then?" the wizard asks, looking down at the sheep.

"Oh, these are my sheep. I couldn’t leave them at home." Sarah explains.

"Ah, magical creatures I suspect. Able to change form, I daresay. Very good. I can see you are a skilled warrior already."

"Well actually," Sarah begins as she enters the Hall. Julia dares a glance over to see a group of flowers mourning over the spot where their friend was viciously torn to his death. A few flowers looked over and made death motions. "They’re just sheep."

"Say no more," The wizard winks conspiratorially. "Don’t want the enemy knowing about your secret weapons. If you would just wait right here," the wizard says as they approach a pair of impressive looking doors. "I will get the council together for you."

After the wizard disappears behind the doors, Sarah sits down on one of the seats placed in a neat row outside the door, getting the odd feeling she’s waiting outside the Principals office from elementary school.

Sarah thinks she hears elevator music. Then wonders what an elevator is, when the doors slide open of their own accord.

A voice booms, "Enter, oh traveling warrior!"

Sarah slowly walks into a room that was not meant to fit inside the relatively modest, cottage-esque hall. Pillars towered at impossible heights above Sarah as she walks into the darkened, circular room. A beam of light shines oppressively on the heroine and Julia cowers close to her keeper. Julia, however, looks around excitedly wondering if all this theatrics involves free food.

Sarah got the impression that several eyes were upon her when she stopped in the middle of the room. "Um, hi?"

"State your name for the record." A voice asks pleasantly, before it clears its throat embarrassed. "I mean, name thyself oh she who seeks greatness not normally beheld by, um, normal people."

"Oh good show Englebrook. Why don’t you invite her over for some tea and cookies next time?"

"You shut up Razzmatazz." The voice of Englebrook snaps.

"Ruin everything, he does." Razzmatazz comments to the room in general. "The very destruction of our reputation as wizards, he is. Can’t see why we put up with you."

"It’s because of his father." A wizard states knowingly.

"Hey!" Englebrook cries. "I got in here because of my skills in wizardry, you know."

"Yes of course."

There is a moment of uncomfortable silence when everyone remembers that Sarah is standing there, looking a bit embarrassed. "Should I come back later?" she offers.

"No, please have a seat." Razzmatazz’s voice says pleasantly before there is a puff of smoke and glitter. A comfortable chair appears just behind Sarah.

"Show off." Englebrook mutters. "So you are in need of a wizard? Please, tell us a little about your quest."

"Well, Aphrodisiac said that I need to..." she pauses. Come to think of it Sarah didn’t even know what she was supposed to do. "Um, all she told me was that Guinessius knocked over the Stone a-..." Sarah looks around when she is interrupted by the sounds of startled gasps.

"Oh this is most unfortunate." Razzmatazz states. "If the Stone was indeed knocked over then it could mean the end of the world."

"Um, couldn’t they just pick it back up?" Sarah asks logically.

"The gods have a way of understating things." Englebrook says. "To them, knocking something over is more like smashing a priceless Bling vase into pieces."

"And when they say the end of the world," Razzmatazz begins.

"It means something much worse." Englebrook finishes.

Sarah makes an ‘oh’ face. "So what happens now?"

"We will send our most powerful wizard." Razzmatazz says. "Me."

"Just hold on there a minute Razzmatazz!" Englebrook cries. "Since when were you the most powerful wizard?"

"Since I did this!" There is a flash of light and a sound like ‘zip’ followed by the bleat of a very uncomfortable donkey.

"Excuse me?" Sarah says before another fight begins. "Can we focus on me, here? I really want to get back to tending my sheep in peace you know."

"Sheep?" Razzmatazz repeats. Light fills the room, allowing Sarah to see all the wizards of the council. Some were muttering to each other, others were looking at her critically.

Sarah got the funny impression that she would soon be the butt of a great inside joke and she braced herself for the worst.

"Tell us, young lady. Are you a hero?" A wizard asks, leaning over.

"Not necessarily." Sarah admits. "You see, I have these relatives who are into that kind of business. I just like to tend sheep."

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Razzmatazz demands, rising from his seat. "We take our business as wizards very seriously."

"Hey! It’s not like I wanted that hussy of a Goddess to come trysting onto my property and tell me I have to save the world from destruction!" Sarah snaps back as she rises to her feet. "All I want is to just go home and forget people exist."

"Well, she is antisocial enough to be a hero." A wizard comments before getting shushed by a comrade.

Razzmatazz looks down at Sarah for a long moment. There is the feeling of tension in the air as all await a decision from the self appointed leader of the Wizards. Englebrook, in a moment of revenge, bites off a chunk of Razzmatazz’s robe.

"Alright." Razzmatazz says finally. "You will be given a wizard companion." He raises a hand to silence the astonished voices of the other wizards. "Take the eastern road and follow it for a day. There you will come across a tower. You will find the help you need."

"Are you insane?!" A wizard cries. "You know he’s mentally unst-..."

"He is the best candidate for this quest." Razzmatazz interrupts. "The gods work in mysterious ways. If they believe this shepherd to be the one capable of saving us, then we must believe it as well."

Sarah nods in satisfaction. "Alright then. I’ll just get on my way. Um, thanks." She bobs uncertainly before the wizards before departing for the tower of the wizard.

"Are you nuts Razzmatazz? Aeryk is the last person you want let loose on the world!"

Razzmatazz snorts. "You honestly think I believed a word that woman said? She’ll be busy enough trying to deal with Aeryk than to ever think about trying to pull a fast one over us again." 

The Tower of Aeryk the Generally Awe Inspiring (as he likes to modestly call himself) is a sight to behold. That’s not saying the architecture was a marvel of its time; not at all. It was more like the sheer chaos of color, stained glass windows, and banners hanging from every possible branch, pillar, and window (all proclaiming the magnificence of Aeryk, some in foreign languages just to make sure all knew who Aeryk was) that impresses people. Most of all Sarah.

"What in the name of all things holy?" Sarah mutters to herself as he gapes, mouth wide open, at the visual assault before her. Julia bleats nervously while Lilian attempts to usurp a nearly pole, also bedecked with a banner of Aeryk’s grinning mug. "This isn’t what I was expecting."

In fact Sarah was expecting a looming tower of doom with lightning crashing and thunder rumbling. Not the veritable chaos of colors before her watering eyes.

It took a lot of effort for Sarah to gather the courage to head towards the tower. Human instinct dictates that anyone crazy enough to paint a fortress of that magnitude like that has to be a crazy person with a thing for sharp objects and explosives.

The only thing that can be said positively (or without snickering) about Aeryk’s tower is the gardens that surround it. Various flowers and fountains litter the area. Trees of all kinds provide shade at the right places with little benches sitting under them.

"PULL!" A voice bellows out just as a little disc of clay goes hurtling into the air, quickly followed by a ball of flames, which effectively obliterates the disc.

"A masterful shot, sir." An elderly voice praises.

"It was wasn’t it?" The first voice replied pompously. "PULL!"

Sarah watched with awe for a moment before she follows the place where the fireballs were hurled into the sky when she comes across a young man dressed in an astonishing rainbow coloured robe bedecked with sequins (obviously the owner of the tower) and an elderly man, smartly dressed in a simple black dress suit.

"Um, hello?" Sarah calls from a safe spot behind a tree.

The two men look over at Sarah. "Yes?" The robed man asks. "What do you want? Oh, it’s you." He stated after getting a better look at Sarah. "You’re late."

"I’m... huh?" Sarah asks, taken back.

"Late. The opposite of prompt." The robed man explains as he walks over to examine Sarah further. "The potential is there. But you have a good heart, which is too bad. Often gets in the way. Makes one do what they feel is right then screws up everything in the end." He sighs. "Well, you’re still young and impressionable which is good. I’ll make a hero out of you yet."

"Are you Aeryk, by chance?" Sarah hazards.

"What? It isn’t obvious?" Aeryk asks, wide eyed. The wind blows, rustling a few nearby banners proclaiming Aeryk’s glory.

"I was hoping otherwise." Sarah replied simply.

"Bah, you won’t find a wizard as all powerful as I my dear woman." Aeryk stated as if it were a fact known to the entire world except Sarah. "Obviously those fools at the guild knew this and recommended me for your little quest."

"Actually, I got the impression that they were snickering at me as I left. The only time your name came up the words "insane" and "mentally unstable" came up." Sarah said. "Which leaves me in want of confidence."

"They’re just jealous that I turned the Head Master into a legless flying squirrel before they could." Aeryk snickers at the image of the Head Master, in an attempt to flee for his life, zooming out of the open window and ramming face first into a nearby tree, unable to land without the use of any appendages. "Good times. Well, why don’t we have a chat in my Tower? I’ll set us up with what in the name of all things ungodly are those?" Aeryk cries when he catches sight of Lilian and Julia.

"Oh, this is Julia and Lilian." Sarah explains. "They’re my sheep."

"Sheep?" Aeryk peers at Julia and her cute, wide, unassuming eyes and shudders. Then his gaze falls on Lilian and the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. "I sense evil from that one."

Sarah sighs. "I know. I get that all the time. She’s really a sweet sheep once you get to know her."

Aeryk and Lilian stare each other down, weighing in on each other as two natural enemies would. "Indeed." He shakes himself out of the trance of the stare-down and motions for Sarah to follow. "We’ll talk more inside. The world is full of many dangers and if we are not properly equipped our chances of beating the bajeezus out of them aren’t all that great."

"But you’re a wizard!" Sarah rationalizes as she and her sheep follow Aeryk inside. "Can’t you just point a finger, go ‘SHAZAM’ and blow them to kingdom-yet-to-come?"

Aeryk laughs. "And waste my time while I can sit back and watch other people maim themselves? I wouldn’t give that up for the world. Besides, magic doesn’t work like that. It requires time and concentration. I couldn’t possibly cast a really good destructive spell in the middle of a fray. Which is why I invest in having other people do the fighting for me."

As they enter the Tower, Sarah beholds a veritable harem of the most beautiful men she has ever seen. Some were busy doing nothing as they lounged on pillows, admiring themselves in mirrors or chatting idly with their fellows. Others were busy comparing their bodies with other men’s. Sarah wondered, with all the flesh that was around, why they even bothered with the loincloths (thankfully) adored on their hips.

Sarah wasn’t about to ask any questions she knew she would get answers to as she walked up a flight of steps into Aeryk’s study.

More books than Sarah thought existed adorn every wall of the room. The shelves tower above her as she gawks about the unnaturally simple looking room. The carpet is soft and lush. Aeryk’s great desk stands just before a pair of great windows, allowing the sun to fill the room with it’s light. Sarah was half-expecting to see monkeys and other loud, crazy creatures to be dashing wildly about the room with funny accordion music in the background.

"So what, is it, that we’re questing for?" Aeryk asks as he pours himself some brandy, even though he never touches the stuff. Aeryk is a firm believer in tradition (when it suits him) and he feels that all studies must have a flask of brandy and a fire burning at all times, including the heat of summer. He offers Sarah some brandy.

Wisely not trusting Aeryk with anything alcoholic, Sarah immediately declines the offer and says, "The gods knocked over the Stone." She waits for Aeryk to react.

There is a long silence as Aeryk stares at the brandy in his glass.

Sarah continues to wait.

The fire in the hearth crackles.

"Did you hear me?" Sarah asks finally.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Knocked over the Stone. So what?" Aeryk puts his glass down and walks over to flip through his books. "Happens all the time."

"Really?" Sarah asks, turning to watch Aeryk. "How come this is the first time I’ve heard about it?"

"Would you want to know the world is about to end because of some stupid gods fault?" Aeryk asks logically, forgetting about the books before he moves over to his desk to begin scrawling on a sheet of blank paper with a quill pen.

"Uh, no." Sarah admits. The sheep were busy sleeping by the fire, at this point, so Sarah took the chance to relax and see what Aeryk was writing. Probably some great writ, or whatever it is wizard’s do.

She is astonished to find out he was busy doodling a tree with a nasty grin on it’s face as it proceeds to rend a stick figure asunder. "What are you doing?!" She demands.

"Just waiting for something." Aeryk answers.

Moments later, the sky begins to darken rapidly. The wind begins to howl. Rain pours from the heavens as thunder booms and lightning crashes.

Aeryk looks at his wrist. "A little late." He mutters. "This will only be a second."

Shortly after the window crashes open, allowing the torrential downpour to soak the slightly annoyed looking Aeryk and the winds to toss around his doodles and blow out the fire does a voice boom, "Sarah, Keeper of Sheep, I am

The annoying K@t Wraithe!"

"Impressive, he even pronounced the ampersand." Aeryk says appreciatively. "You really got yourself a good super villain, Sarah."

Julia and Lilian leap to their hooves and look around in confusion (not a difficult task for sheep) and bleat.

"Fear me in my fearsomeness!" the voice of K@t Wraithe continues. "And tremble as the voice of DOOM fall upon thee!"

Aeryk rolls his eyes, totally unaffected by the dramatics. "Really, this is all a formality. No need to be afraid. Yet, anyway." He says calmly as Sarah shivers, more from the chill of the water and wind.

"If you wish to know utter torment and certain despair," K@t Wraithe continues. "Then continue on your quest! You shall never succeed!" The voice then bellows out in laughter before the sky becomes clear and blue again, the wind dies out and all is like it was before.

"Whoo-wee!" Aeryk whoops as he shuts his windows. "Now if that wasn’t a doozy...?"

"Who was that?" Sarah cries.

"Oh, just your enemy." Aeryk explains. "Every good hero has one. Are you sure you’re a hero?"

"Yes! I mean, no." Sarah sighs. "So just who is this Kat Wraithe anyway?"

"It’s K@t," Aeryk corrects. "And I don’t know. I’m just a wizard. For all he could be is a horrible, many tentacled demon from Hell. It’s best you not worry about such things. Bad for digestion."

"How can you be so calm?" Sarah demands. "There was lightning, wind, and everything!" She cries as she makes dramatic motions with her hands. "I didn’t sign up for this!"

Aeryk walks over and pats Sarah on the shoulder. "There, there. It’ll be alright. We’re the good guys remember? Only the unnecessary ones die." He smiles toothily.

Not at all comforted by Aeryk’s attempt at consoling, Sarah lets out a long breath. "Fine. Where do we go from here Mr. Expert?"

"I suspect all we need to do is pack up our things and head out without any general idea of where we’re heading." Aeryk suggests. "That’s usually the best way."

"Are you kidding?" Sarah shakes her head. "I can’t believe I’m doing this."

In a display of pink smoke, glitter, lights and sound Aeryk is seen standing before Sarah wearing a complete ensemble of rainbow colored safari gear. "I’m ready when you are!" With a gesture of his hand, his wizard’s staff appears in his hands.

The staff, closely resembling Aeryk’s twisted personality, is a mockery to the whittling profession. Jewels, colorful archaic runes, and even a few ribbons offend the piece disastrously carved wood.

Sarah examines the staff critically. "I thought wizard’s staves were made out of ancient oak trees and blessed with powerful, arcane magics that, if touched by the unskilled hands, would incinerate them to a pair of smoking shoes and ash. Not," she motions to Aeryk’s staff with a finger. "That."

"Really?" He looks at his staff in amazement. "Here, try it out!" Aeryk says gleefully as he holds out his staff for Sarah to take.

"Are you nuts?! Get that thing away from me!" Sarah flails her arms about as she backs away from Aeryk.

"Suit yourself." The wizard says with a shrug. "Well, shall we begin Fearless Leader?"

"Please don’t call me that." Sarah says, unnerved by the way Aeryk said the word ‘fearless’. "Just call me Sarah." 

"Thus ends the first chapter of Oddities. Who, besides the writer, knows what lies before our intrepid heroes? What horrors will Sarah face in the coming days, nay weeks, dare I say months or even years ahead? Find out the answer to these in later chapters as..."

"Will you shut up Aeryk?" Sarah demands. "You’ve been talking like that ever since we left the tower!"

From his place on his pink cloud, which is floating a few feet off the ground, Aeryk makes a face at Sarah. "Fine, have it your way. I’m just trying to make things a little more interesting."

As the sun begins to fall in the sky, Sarah and her companions continue down their path towards...

"Their destiny." Aeryk says dramatically. "Does danger await them on the next corner?"

"Shut up!" Sarah screams, diving for Aeryk’s neck. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

As Sarah chases Aeryk down the path towards the next town...

Oh forget it. Just go onto part two already.

To Be Continued in Part 2...

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