by S Lee

Disclaimers: See Part 1.

Your feedback is very welcome and appreciated. You can contact me at: s.lee@e-scribblers.com

Copyright © 2004 by S Lee. All Rights Reserved.

---

Chapter 5 - Lover Please

Two months had passed and Kat was becoming accustomed to the idea of Beth being involved with Emma. The girls still hadn't met their mother's girlfriend, but the family spent less and less time together as Beth spent more time with the new woman in her life. Kat died a little more each time the couple went out. The one saving grace was that the women hadn't made love yet.

The music store was doing very well and Kat played with Lainie's group every Tuesday night. Presley and Scout were finishing up the school year and Kat was about to celebrate her first year of sobriety. She still went to her meetings at least once or twice a week.

Beth was finishing her paperwork for the summer, when Emma walked through her office door. An instant smile came to Beth's face.

The taller woman shut the door and Beth walked into her open arms. "Hey there, sweetheart. How's your morning going?"

Beth had her arms around Emma's waist. "I'll be glad when I get this paperwork turned in." She leaned up and placed a kiss on soft lips. "I'm so happy to see you."

Emma grinned. "I'm happy to see you too. I had a great idea this morning and I want to run it by you. What do you think about a romantic getaway at a bed and breakfast in Gruene this weekend? We can leave Friday and be back on Sunday."

Beth kissed her again. "I like it. Kat has the girls this weekend, so it works out well. We can celebrate being done with the semester."

"That's not all I want to celebrate. I want to make love with you so badly."

Beth's body became tense, which wasn't lost on the other teacher. "Talk to me. Why did you stiffen up when I mentioned making love?"

"Honestly, I'm scared. Kat is the only woman I've ever been with. I haven't been with her for over a year. What if I'm not exciting enough?"

Emma embraced her tightly. "It'll be alright baby. We'll go slowly and I have no doubt that we are going to be beautiful together."

"Thank you, that makes me feel better. But, to warn you, I may need more reassurance."

Emma smiled. "Anytime."

"If you'll excuse me, I need to call Kat to make sure this weekend isn't a problem."

Emma kissed her quickly before walking out. "Lunch today?"

"Sounds good. I'll meet you at your office at twelve-thirty."

Beth called Kat at the store. Kat was in a good mood. "Hey 'Scilla, how's your day going?"

"So far so good. You have the girls this weekend, right?"

"Yep. What do you have in mind?"

"I'm going out of town for the weekend with Emma and I wanted to make sure you had the girls."

Kat's heart ripped in half. "Where are you going?"

"Gruene."

Kat swallowed hard. "Yes. I have the girls. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because......I..." Kat wanted to tell her she loved her, but lost her nerve.

"Because why Kat?"

"Nothing. I hope you have a good time."

Beth could hear the pain in Kat's voice. The pain she heard made her ache. She had to admit to herself that even though her relationship with Emma was pleasant and sweet, the depth couldn't come close to the love she shared with Kat. Beth had to remind herself that they could never be together again. It would never work. She hurt too badly the first time and was afraid she wouldn't make it through a second breakup with the singer.

Kat continued, "Listen, I've got a customer. I need to go. I'll pick up the girls on Friday. It's their last day of school."

"Thanks, I'll talk to you tonight. I'll be there at five to pick up the girls."

"That's fine. Bye."

Kat hung up the phone and left the girl at the counter in charge of the front while she went back to her office. With the door shut, she broke down. She wanted a drink. She looked at the pictures of her daughters and Beth on her desk. She knew they were counting on her to remain sober. She called her sponsor and told him about what happened and how much she wanted a drink. The gentle man comforted her and helped talk her down. When Beth came to get the girls, the storeowner could neither speak to nor look at the teacher.

Kat was grateful to her group of musician friends for taking her mind off her problems. She lost herself in the music as she played the mandolin and took turns singing harmonies and melodies. She played as if her mandolin were on fire. Kat closed her eyes and freed her pain. Between songs, the singer was quiet and a little withdrawn. During a break, Lainie spoke to her.

"Hey Kat, you don't seem yourself. Is something wrong?"

"Beth is spending a romantic weekend away with her girlfriend, which means she's going to be sleeping with her. I can't stand the thought of another woman touching Beth. In my heart, she's still my wife."

"Have you told her this?

"No. It took us too long to become friends. I don't want to make things harder than they have to be. I want her to be happy and I want us to raise our girls together. Besides, she's obviously over me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"You've been apart for a year. You haven't been on one date. I think you need to find a nice woman and ask her out. You never know what could come of it. Let your heart feel some joy again."

"How am I going to do that? Where do I go to meet women?"

"Look at Natalie over there. She has a huge crush on you. She's sweet and pretty. She's a hell of a fiddler. Ask her out to dinner. Allow yourself to think about someone else."

Kat exhaled. "I don't know."

"Just think about it, okay?"

The singer nodded. "I will. C'mon it looks like they're about to get started again."

Kat led the group in a mournful version of "I'm so Lonesome I Could Cry." The group then moved into a fast-paced bluegrass tune. Kat watched Natalie. She seemed like a nice woman. She was cute and a great musician. Kat knew she needed something to take her mind off Beth. After the session, she walked up to the thirty-something fiddler.

"Hi Natalie, you really did a great job tonight. You're a great musician."

The red-haired woman grinned, flattered. "Thanks. You really flew through those songs. You were wonderful."

Kat smiled. "Thanks. Would you like to go get some coffee or something to eat?"

Natalie beamed. "Yeah I would."

During dinner, Kat noticed how friendly the other musician was and how easy it was to talk to her. She found herself smiling and even feeling better for a minute or so. The singer made plans to have dinner with her new friend the following Tuesday night. She was surprised to find that she was actually looking forward to it.

Friday weighed heavily on Kat's mind throughout the week. She dreaded that night because it meant that Beth would be lost to her.

She picked up the girls and went straight home instead of to the store. The raindrops pouring down were like the tears that lingered in her eyes. Kat was distracted by the pain. She stared off into space while the girls talked about what they would do that night. They were excited about being out of school for the summer.

Late that afternoon, Beth knocked on the door. Kat opened it and had to resist the temptation to fall at the blonde's feet.

The teacher was obviously in a good mood. "How are my girls?"

The girls looked at their mother and waved. Each answered, "Hi Mom." "Hey, Mom."

"Did you two have a good day? Do you have your report cards?"

The girls brought the grade sheets to their mother. The teacher looked them over. "Both of you did well. I'm very proud of you. We'll celebrate on Sunday night when I return. Do you have any special plans for this weekend?"

Presley answered, "Not yet."

Beth smiled. "I wanted to stop by to see you two before I left. I'm leaving the number here on the table. Call me if anything comes up. I'll be home Sunday afternoon. Y'all have fun."

Kat tried to smile. "We will."

"Good. I need to pick up Emma."

Kat's heart was breaking as she watched the blonde hug their daughters. Her eyes filled with tears. She was dying to ask Beth not to go. " Beth...I don't..." She struggled with her words. "Please...."

Beth tried to figure out what her ex-lover was trying to say. "What? Tell me."

She swallowed her feelings and said, "Please be careful. The roads are a mess."

"I will. I'll see y'all on Sunday."

They could both sense that something was changing between them. Beth opened the door and walked out into the rain. Kat paced in front of the door trying to figure out what to do. Finally, she let her heart take over. She ran out into the pouring rain, just as Beth was pulling away. Beth stopped the car and rolled down the window. The women were standing about a foot apart. Beth looked at her, confused and annoyed at the interruption. "What is it?"

With tears in her eyes and her heart in her hands, Kat pleaded, "Don't go. Don't do this."

Beth stepped out of the car and had to shout over the rain. "What are you talking about? Why not?"

"Because we love each other. We were meant to be together. We aren't meant to be with anyone else. I don't want you to make love to anyone else. I want to make love with you. I've changed 'Scilla. I'm solid as a stone; you know I am. You used to say that I was your hero. Give me the chance to be that again. I'm right here and I'm not leaving anymore. Give us one more chance. Don't go away with Emma. "

"Why are you doing this to me? Why now? We've talked about this before. I can't face the pain again. How can you do this to me?"

"I love you Beth. I need you. We belong together. I know you believe it too."

The angry blonde began to argue more when Kat placed her hands on her cheeks and pulled her into a kiss. Electricity went through both women as the rain poured down on them, drenching them. Beth melted against Kat as the kiss deepened and continued for several minutes. They were home. For Beth, it was a place she was afraid to go. Emma was safe and she didn't want to feel out of control again. The teacher pulled out of the kiss. The women stood breathlessly in the rain with their foreheads pressed together. Kat was the first to speak with tears pouring down her cheeks, mingling with the raindrops.

"You still love me. I could feel it in the way you kissed me back."

Beth shook her head. "I can't do this. I have to go." She climbed into her truck and pulled away. Kat stood in the driveway watching the love of her life drive off in the rain. Beth cried as she watched her heart's desire standing alone in the pouring.

When the truck was out of sight, Kat walked back into the house, broken and crushed. The girls had been watching out the window.

Presley was the first to comfort her mother. "It's going to be alright Mom. I promise. She loves you too. She'll realize it."

Kat tried to put on a brave face. "Thank you, honey. Why don't you guys put a pizza in the oven? I'm going to get dried off."

Scout approached her mother. "I love you, Mom." She wrapped her arms around her rain-soaked mother.

Kat held the little girl tightly, kissing the top of her head. "Baby, that means the world to me. Thank you so much. I love you both too. I'll be back downstairs. Pick a movie and we can watch it."

Kat walked into her bedroom and looked at the wedding picture on her dresser. She wanted a drink. She thought about the two girls in the living room. She exhaled deeply and began to change her clothes. She spotted her guitar in the corner and started playing out her feelings in the key of E. She picked up a pen and wrote down the words as they came out.

Kat looked over her words and wiped the tears from her eyes. She laid the wedding picture of her and Beth face down on the dresser.

She walked downstairs to the living room and sat down with her daughters. Throughout the evening, the girls tried to make their mother smile. They watched several comedies that night, as the rain continued to pour.

An hour away, in a quiet, candlelit room, two new lovers were beginning a slow exploration of one another. Emma was gentle and loving. "God, Beth, you are so beautiful."

Beth smiled shyly. The words were exactly what she wanted to hear but the voice was wrong. Long fingers caressed her soft skin, but they were too smooth. Where were the callused fingertips? The lips were strong and tender, but where was the knowing command of the kiss? The teacher looked into the brown eyes of her partner. The eyes were supposed to be blue. The body lying on top of hers was light and warm, but it took a minute to get into position. This body didn't fit with hers. Her heart was screaming out that this was the wrong lover. Her heart ached for the lover who knew her body so well. She longed for the husky whispers in her ear. She needed the long black hair cascading over her breasts. She didn't fit this new lover. This wasn't working. The heat and passion of Kat's kiss was burned in her heart, in her mind, and most of all, in her soul. Beth kept seeing the despair in her ex-wife's eyes as she drove away. She shook her head and put her hand against Emma. "I can't."

Emma looked at her confused. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm still in love with Kat. I want Kat. I need Kat."

Emma sat back and began to cry. "I was afraid this would happen. I've fallen in love with you. How could you forget what she did to you?"

"She's changed. I can't explain it. You are so sweet and I care about you deeply. But my soul is crying out for Kat. I need to go home."

"Can it wait until morning? It's pouring out and it's late."

Beth shook her head. "I'm sorry. I need to go now. I feel as if I don't see her right this minute, my heart will stop."

Emma sadly nodded her head. "Alright, let's get dressed and pack."

The teacher looked at the jilted woman gratefully. "Thank you. Again, I am so sorry I did this to you. I really wanted tonight to happen."

"So did I."

A while later, Kat was awakened by a pounding on the front door. She looked at the clock. 'What the hell? Who could have made it through the security gates?' She opened the door and found Beth standing in the rain. "What are you doing here?"

"Damn you, Kat Green."

Kat was confused. "Get in here. What did I do?" She pulled the teacher into the house.

"This." Beth reached up and placed her lips on the singer's in a demanding kiss. Kat wrapped her arms around the drenched woman in her arms.

After many breathless kisses, Kat pulled back. "What's going on? Why did you do that? Why are you mad at me?"

"Because I was with a very sweet, kind woman and I could have had a nice, comfortable relationship with her. You and your damn kiss. You showed me that I may want nice and easy but I need you. You are my soulmate. I never stopped loving you even though I wish I had. You scare the hell out of me. You showed me in that kiss, that I can't be happy or satisfied with anyone but you."

Kat kissed her again. Both women began to cry. The singer pleaded. "Don't play with me 'Scilla. I couldn't stand it."

Beth looked into Kat's eyes. "I've never been more serious. I love you E."

The nickname was music to the singer's well-trained ear. "You haven't called me that in over a year. I love you too."

The women held one another tightly, crying. Kat noticed Beth shivering. "Oh honey, you must be cold. You're all wet."

They both laughed. Beth teased, "I'm not cold. But, I am wet."

Kat grinned wickedly. "Then, let's get you out of those clothes and get in bed." She leaned down and began to kiss the moist neck.

Beth was on fire with the familiar touch. "No. I don't want to rush things. Besides, if the girls find me in your bed tomorrow morning, they'll be so excited and I don't want to raise their hopes until we're sure."

Kat agreed. "I'm not letting you leave my arms tonight."

"I won't argue with that."

The taller woman chuckled. "Go up and get something out of my drawers. I'll make some coffee and we can talk. There's still a lot for you to tell me about tonight. I want to know how you came to this conclusion."

Beth stole a last kiss before going upstairs. She looked through Kat's things and found a baggy t-shirt and pajama bottoms. She noticed the picture frame that was face down on the dresser. She lifted it and saw their wedding picture. She noticed sheets of paper with words and chords. She read the painful words. New tears came to her eyes when she realized how much her wife was hurting. She put the paper back down and went downstairs.

She walked up behind Kat, who was making coffee. The tall woman turned around in the loving arms. The singer ran her hands through the smaller woman's hair.

Loaded with coffee and chocolate chip cookies, the two women cuddled on the couch, and talked about Beth's night with Emma.

Kat lazily ran her hands over the familiar body. "I want to date you again. I want to woo you. We had so much fun the first time. I want to do it all over again. I want to make you fall in love with me. I want to give you the romance you deserve. I love your smile and I'd do anything to make that come out."

Beth brought the larger hand to her lips. "I love that idea. You are the sweetest woman."

"And I'm yours."

The blonde giggled. "That's the best part."

"Let's get your parents to watch the kids tomorrow or should I say tonight. I want to take you out. Maybe we can go dancing."

Beth grinned. "I love it. It's a date."

Kat whispered softly into her ear, "I'll pick you up at seven."

The teacher nodded. "That sounds perfect. I can't wait."

The End

Feed the Scribbler: s.lee@e-scribblers.com.