by S Berry

Ownership Disclaimers: Voyager and the characters don’t belong to me, more’s the pity. I think they belong to Viacom/Paramount. I’m making no money off this. This my first completed (though by far not the first one I’ve started) Voyager fan fic, and I haven’t written a fan fiction disclaimer in years… I think I hit the important bits.

Love/Sex: We’re a go for both, folks. It’s Janeway/Seven, so if you don’t like that pairing, or lesbian sex in general, or you’re too young, or it’s illegal where you live, you probably don’t want to continue past this point.

Violence: : Not really, amazingly enough. There’s a very short ‘fight’ scene, but not so much as a console blows.

Angst/Hurt/Comfort: Yeah, there’s some, but it ends happily. I hate stories that don’t.

Feedback: Please! This is the first Voyager fic I’ve let anyone other than my beta read, and I’m nervous. Let me know if I should keep giving Voyager a go or stick to original fic. You can reach me at sberry@e-scribblers.com. I have a mailing list for my Xena/Original fic -- groups.yahoo.com/group/SBerrysStories/.

Copyright © 2008 by S Berry. All Rights Reserved.

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Kathryn Janeway was not a happy camper. Of course, nobody was particularly cheerful after being assimilated, but that wasn’t her only problem. She was frustrated, confused, and had no idea how she was going to fix any of it. Seven had a virtual reality boyfriend, but was in love with her. And Seven didn’t know it. She’d sensed it during the bridging of their minds that allowed her to join Seven in Unimatrix Zero. It hadn’t been hard. Kathryn wasn’t sure if Seven had deliberately allowed her to see the feelings she didn’t have the words to express, or if it was an accident she didn’t try too hard to stop. It had been hard to control her own thoughts, and she was uncertain how successful she had been. The depth of emotion had startled her. She had always suspected Seven felt things far more deeply than she showed, and she’d known that Seven loved her, but she had thought Seven knew it and had just not been ready to take the next step. It made her feel better in a way. She had thought they had an unspoken understanding that when Seven was ready for romance, it would be with Kathryn. Seven had initiated it. “The child you spoke of? Her favorite color was red.” Hadn’t Seven’s eyes made a short tour of her body when she said that? Seven could be so subtle; there could be layers of meaning in the simplest comment or twitch of a lip or ocular implant. Kathryn had interpreted it as ‘You are my favorite person, but I am not ready to say that yet. Be patient with me until then.’ A thousand other things had convinced her she had not misinterpreted the simple comment. Seven let her get closer to her than she did anyone else. Seven came to her with her pain and confusion and grief; sank into her arms and cried when with practically everyone else she tried to pretend she had no emotions. Came to her with her confusion and asked for her help. Would do things she didn’t like just because she asked. She had been content to wait until Seven was ready, safe in the knowledge that it was she that Seven loved. It had hurt when she ’d experimented with dating with Chapman, and now that she’d somewhat rekindled her relationship with Axum, though had abandoned that when she’d had to destroy Unimatrix Zero and had discovered he was on the other side of the galaxy. She had no idea how to lead Seven to the truth of their hearts, or even if she should. She was not sure what would hurt Seven worse in the long run.

Seven had looked gorgeous as Annika, though she missed the exoticness of her implants. She wondered if she could get Seven to dress and wear her hair like that again. Even if they were never together, at least she could enjoy the view.

God, how the hell had Seven managed to walk after having most of her implants removed? Her whole body ached and her head was killing her. Where was Seven, anyway? After her earlier brief visit, she’d said she’d be back after she’d talked to the Doctor and taken care of a few things. That had been half an hour ago. Kathryn was looking forward to a deeper conversation with her. Perhaps she’d be able to gain information that would help her lead Seven to the truth. Like how did she feel about never being able to meet Axum in the real world? How had they gotten together in the first place? And how hell did she manage to walk in those damn heels with perfect posture after major surgery?

Seven came in pushing an antigravity chair. “How would you like to convalesce in your quarters?”

“The Doctor has to monitor me,” she said confusedly.

“After you severed me, as much as I told myself location was irrelevant, I wished I had someplace else to recover. Someplace far from the Doctor,” Seven confided quietly. “The way he hovers and pokes and prods made me very nervous and irritated. I know you do not like being in sickbay either, so I convinced him that since the physical danger is over, I was the most qualified to help you and the others recover. After all, who else knows what it’s like to be assimilated and severed from the Collective?” she asked reasonably. “I will speak with Cmdr Tuvok and Lt Torres tomorrow.”

“I never knew that. I would’ve found you some place more comfortable if I’d known it made any difference to you,” Kathryn said sorrowfully.

“It was more comfortable than the brig,” Seven said with a faint smile. “I did not want to admit to any weakness. I did not want you to know anything about how I was feeling other than I was angry. But I was more afraid than angry, and I was angry with myself for being scared and weak. Most of all, I was lonely. I did not really remember being without the voices. I am glad that you do not have to go through that. It was very unpleasant. Necessary, and ultimately satisfying, but it was very unpleasant for a long time,” she continued softly.

“I knew you were mostly afraid. It was the strength of your emotional responses that convinced me I had made the right decision. Of all the decisions I’ve made in my life, that’s one I’ve never, ever regretted. Even during your ‘terrible twos’,” Kathryn grinned cheekily.

Seven smiled her rare full smile. “I prefer to consider it my ‘teenage rebellion’ period,” she said loftily.

“Do you think there’d be a mutiny if I tried one of those?” Kathryn mused playfully, thoroughly enjoying Seven being playful and wanting to continue the exchange.

“I would offer to assimilate anyone who tried, but that would be counterproductive. No one would know what to rebel against.”

Kathryn laughed. “Get me out of here before I wake up B’Elanna or Tuvok.”

Seven removed the blanket and Kathryn was suddenly reminded she was in her underwear. At least she was wearing the gender neutral Starfleet issue boxers and not the racy lacey’s she liked to wear under her uniform normally. She was further reminded of her state of undress when one long arm slipped gently behind her back and the other eased under her bare knees. The fabric of Seven’s biosuit was slightly rough and scratchy against her skin. Then she was being gently lifted and cradled carefully against Seven’s slender body before she was eased into the antigravity chair and released. “I could’ve gotten into the chair by myself, but thanks for the lift,” she said wryly to cover how much she’d enjoyed the brief experience. It wouldn’t do for anyone to know that the indestructible Captain Janeway loved to be carried.

Seven solicitously tucked one of her pillows behind her back and folded and tucked the blanket over her lap and bare legs. “I know you *could* have, but since we are the only ones conscious, it was unnecessary for you to suffer for the sake of appearances,” Seven said calmly. “It would’ve been more efficient to simply carry you to your quarters rather than unearth an antigravity chair from the depths of ship’s stores, but that would have discomforted you greatly.”

“Yes, it would have. Not very captainly at all. An antigravity chair isn’t much better, but I’d rather recover staring at my own ceiling where not just anyone can come in,” Kathryn admitted.

“I know. I do not like being on display when I malfunction either. I will leave you to recover in peace once I have gotten you settled. I will be in Astrometrics catching up on my work if you need anything enough to admit to it. I have regenerated entirely too much lately.”

“You don’t have to go. You don’t hover. I’m not sleepy. I’d like to have a philosophical discussion. I miss them,” Kathryn confessed.

“I do, too. I did not realize you enjoyed them, or I would not have stopped coming by. I thought you were… disappointed I could not solve my dilemmas myself and irritated that I questioned your decisions. I do not enjoy being in conflict with you,” Seven admitted as she pushed Kathryn through the silent corridors.

“Seven, everyone needs help figuring things out sometimes, and I’ve never expected you to figure everything out alone, no matter how it might seem. A lot of times it would’ve saved a lot of time and heart ache if you’d just talked to me. I don’t like being in conflict with you either and I don’t like it when you shut me out. I know that’s mostly my fault. I don’t listen as much as I should. I haven’t been a very good friend,” Kathryn admitted. “I get so focused on being the Captain, I forget sometimes I need to be Kathryn just as much.”

“You have faced the Borg Queen for me twice; once to rescue me, once to save my friends. I believe that would count as being a ‘good friend’,” Seven objected. “And insane, but the two are not mutually exclusive.”

“You sacrificed yourself to the Borg Queen to save me and the crew, and you were in danger of being killed to save your friends just as much as I was,” Kathryn pointed out. “And you knew exactly what you were facing. I only had an idea of how unpleasant it was to be assimilated. I can’t imagine how frightening and painful that had to be at six. My admiration for you has increased substantially after today.”

“I only did what you taught me to do. If there is anything admirable about me, it is only because of your guidance and example,” Seven said, voice ragged with emotion.

“I don’t think so. I think it’s all you. I just gave you a chance to discover it.”

Seven was quiet for the rest of the trip to Kathryn’s quarters and Kathryn could almost hear the gears grinding as she thought. “Like you did for Lt Paris,” she said finally as she was lifting Kathryn out of the chair in her living area. “He possessed the qualities that would make him a good officer and a good person, but until you, he did not have anyone who believed in him, no matter how badly he erred.”

“Pretty much, yes, but you hadn’t done anything to cause your problems,” Kathryn conceded, more comfortable with that parallel. “Would you set me on the couch, please? I don’t want to go to bed yet.”

Seven did and took a few minutes fiddling with the blanket and pillow, looking troubled. “Someone else believed in me,” she said quietly, not looking up. “I was taken to be groomed to be the next queen of the Borg. That is also why she let me go with you originally. She wanted me to experience being an individual so I could lead properly. When she thought I had been an individual long enough, she came for me to continue my education in the way of the Borg. I am sorry I never told you. At first, I did not know, then I was too ashamed to tell anyone.”

Kathryn absorbed the news quietly. “I thought it was only because she’s in love with you, but it makes sense. No wonder you have so much trouble adjusting to being human. I won’t let her have you, though. I may be outnumbered and outgunned, but I’ll never stop fighting for you.” Kathryn stopped, realizing that might be misinterpreted -- or rather, correctly interpreted -- and she didn’t want to add to Seven’s confusion.

“I do not want her to have me. As confusing and sometimes painful it is to be an individual, I do not want to stop. Where once I felt belonging -- as much as a drone could feel -- now I only feel fear. In some ways, you and the Queen are similar -- you are both formidabble women who are utterly convinced you know what is right, you are both convinced you know what is best for me, and you are both willing to fight for me, but while I fear and loath the Queen, and sometimes that tendency in you annoys me, I feel safe and… cared for with you,” Seven said as if she were thinking aloud. “You are usually willing to at least listen to my wishes, if I am forceful enough in letting you know I have them, but the Queen does not care what I want.”

Kathryn wanted to ask her if she wanted Kathryn to ‘have’ her, but she repressed the desire. “I’d like to say that it’s just a captain’s thing, but the fact of the matter is, I always thought I was right long before I was a captain. I was always this damn stubborn, too. I’ll try to listen to you more, but sometimes I can’t accommodate everyone’s wishes as much as I’d like to. That *is* often a captain’s thing. But I can promise that I’ll always keep you as safe as any human can in this galaxy, and I do care for you very much -- as both the captain and the person under the pips,” she said softly. “No matter how human or Borg you are.” It felt good too say that aloud, and she decided that it wasn’t too much too soon.

“I care for you very much as well, and I understand. I do not expect you to act contrary to your nature and your position. I have discovered that it is not good to always get what you want. What would you have to strive for if you did? It is the flaw of the Collective. They seek perfection, but the method they use necessarily makes that goal unachievable, even if such a thing as perfection existed. What would they do if they got it? Yet, I still seek perfection. I keep trying to be perfectly human while clinging to my Borgness, despite knowing that I cannot be both, and no longer liking the Collective.”

Kathryn hugged the soft words to herself. She knew how Seven felt, of course, but Seven had never said the words before. “Not everything about the Collective is bad, Seven. Loyalty, working together, exploring, gathering knowledge for knowledge’s sake, patience, and tenacity are positive traits. Seeking to improve your society is a good thing. It’s just how they do it that’s wrong. Those are traits that Starfleet and humanity has espoused as well. You’ll always be both, and that’s not a bad thing at all. Your Borgness has saved all of us so many times. I’m just sorry that your road is so hard because so many people don’t understand that,” she finished softly, giving in and reaching out to hold Seven’s Borg hand.

Seven was looking at her in amazement and wonder. “You really think that?” she asked quietly.

“Of course I do. I’ve never lied to you. I know I’ve pushed you to embrace your humanity, but I never intended you to abandon your Borg half entirely, and I’m very sorry if it seemed that way. You’ve far surpassed any expectations I had in the beginning,” Kathryn said sincerely, realizing that maybe she hadn’t been nearly as communicative as she might have been. “Have you been thinking that I’m disappointed that you’re not one hundred percent ‘normal’ human?” she asked in dismay.

“Yes,” Seven admitted. “It’s not just you -- everyone expects me to be totally human, or totally Borg. I have been trying, but it’s so hard,” she sighed.

“I just want you to reach your full potential, no matter how human or Borg or neither that ends up being,” Kathryn said, squeezing the hand in hers.

“Axum and my other friends were upset because I retained many of my Borg mannerisms and my implants. He professed to love me still. It was disturbing to discover that I had carried on a romance for six years that I could not remember. I did not think I was capable of romance. Later, I remembered how I used to feel. I am uncertain if I was in love, or if I still love him, or only the idea of having someone out there. The longer I am away from Unimatrix Zero, the more I think it was only the idea I am not a failure,” Seven confided quietly, looking troubled and uncertain.

“Seven, do you think I’m a failure?” Kathryn asked.

“No, of course not,” Seven said immediately, shocked.

“I’ve never had a successful romantic relationship, though,” Kathryn persisted to make a point. Seven was thinking about that, she saw. “Romance is not some sort of prerequisite to be human, Seven. You won’t suddenly be perfectly human if you have a romantic partner. Most relationships just don’t work out, especially the first one. People change, circumstances change, it’s Tuesday, there’s a million reasons,” she continued. “It doesn’t mean you’ve failed anything.”

Obviously, that was a new concept to Seven. “It doesn’t?”

“No, it doesn’t. I’d think him not liking such a major part of you would indicate he just wasn’t the right one for you,” Kathryn said and wanted to kick herself. It was true, but she probably shouldn’t have said it.

“That’s what I thought,” Seven said, clearly relieved. “But then I thought that perhaps I was being too picky.”

“Honey, wanting to be loved for who you are is *not* being overly picky; it’s inefficient and illogical to settle for anything less,” Kathryn said, trying to phrase it in a way that Seven would understand, and not noticing her verbal slip. “‘Honey’; that is a term of endearment. No one has addressed me with an endearment since before I was assimilated,” Seven said wonderingly. She looked down at their linked hands. “You really do care for me as I am.”

“Yes, I do,” Kathryn affirmed. “You’re an extraordinary individual.”

Seven leaned forward and awkwardly hugged her. Kathryn was shocked; there had only been a handful of times Seven had initiated any physical contact, and it had been a while since she’d given any indication she desired an embrace at all. She put her arms around her and held her close an extra moment when Seven went to pull away. “Did I damage you? I apologize, I forgot your condition.” Seven asked worriedly.

“No, Seven. As a matter of fact, my back feels better now. You must’ve pressed my spine into a better alignment.” “Good,” Seven said, pleased. “Would you like a massage? I remember it helped me after my exoplating was removed. Of course, I was not used to having exposed skin and the damage to my human circulatory system was far more extensive.”

Kathryn frowned. “I don’t remember the Doctor mentioning massage therapy.”

“I wondered if it was truly therapeutic myself when I discovered he was in love with me, but I checked my medical records, and I believe it was medically based. He did not touch anything inappropriate. I did not want to ask because I do not want to be forced to reject him,” Seven said.

“I didn’t know you knew that. I’ve been wondering if I should say something,” Kathryn commented. If she hadn’t known better, she might have wondered if Seven knew how she herself felt and was doing the same thing.

“I didn’t until after my failed date and I overheard some crewmen discussing the situation. I discounted the notion at first, but then I began to pay more attention and realized he was looking at me like Ensign Kim when I first came on board. I realized there had been signs, but since we were friends, I did not place any significance on them. How do you tell the difference between friendship and love?” Seven asked curiously.

“I don’t know if I can be any help. I haven’t really figured it out myself,” Kathryn admitted. “It’s very easy to mistake friendship for love. That’s what I did with Mark, the man I was engaged to when Voyager set out, but it wasn’t until probably our third year out that I realized that. I’m an idiot when it comes to love. We grew up together and after my father and Justin died, I guess I just needed someone and there he was. I convinced myself that grand passion didn’t work, and what I really needed was someone comfortable and stable. He was pretty quick to decide I was dead and move on, so I guess *that* didn’t work either. I guess you need both passion and comfort,” she said thoughtfully. “You know, I think we had the same trouble that you and Axum have. We were just too different. He was happy on Earth and didn’t like space, and I’m happiest in space and don’t like to be planet side too long at a time.”

“I do not think I understand passion,” Seven said reluctantly. “How do you know if what you are feeling is passion?”

Kathryn tried to think of how to explain it. “It’s hard to explain, but if you have an intense desire to kiss and sexually touch someone frequently, it could be passion. If you have an intense desire to know every thing about someone and spend every minute possible with them, plus wanting to kiss and sexually touch them, it very well could be love.” It was inadequate, but she couldn’t think of a better explanation.

“Doctor to Seven of Nine. Lt Torres is agitated. Could you come to sickbay and give me a hand?” Seven tapped her com badge. “Acknowledged. I will be right there. Seven out.” She stood up reluctantly. “Do you want me to help you to bed first?”

“No, just hand me the book on my chair. Hail me when you’re finished.”

“All right. Goodnight, Captain.”

“Kathryn,” she corrected impulsively. “We’ve been friends for three years; it’s about time you call me by my first name.”

Seven flashed her that rare full smile again. “Goodnight, Kathryn. Hail me if you need anything.” She left.

Kathryn sat quietly, savoring the way Seven caressed the syllables of her name, for long minutes before trying to immerse herself in her book. She had the happy feeling things were looking up.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said worriedly.

“Do not worry, I know what to do. I have been through this before,” Seven said gently.

He looked at her, and nodded before deactivating himself.

Seven deactivated the force field. “Your mind is in chaos. You do not know if you hate the Collective, the Captain, me, or yourself the most. You are a warrior, you should have been able to resist longer. You should not have been so easily overcome. What ifs are running wildly through your mind. What if you hadn’t had the neural inhibitor? What could you have done differently? What if Voyager and my friends hadn’t been able to rescue you? You are so filled with rage and fear you feel like you will explode with it,” she said gently. “You want to strike me for all that I stand for. Go ahead. Hit me until you cannot lift your arms any longer. I will even resist if that will help.”

The fight went out of the other woman, as Seven had suspected, though she would’ve allowed herself to be attacked. “Is this what you felt when Janeway severed you?”

“Very similar, though I was angry at the captain for taking me from all that I knew and not letting me go back. It was not until later that I became angry at the Collective and began to hate myself for what I had done while I was part of it,” she allowed. “I do not allow myself those emotions very often or for very long. I have channeled them into seeking redemption instead,” she admitted. “You have done nothing to require redeeming, so that will not be a helpful course of action for you. I really do not mind if you strike me. We can repair the damage ourselves and no one ever has to know.”

“It’s no fun if you volunteer,” Lt Torres grumbled. “And if you’re gonna be *nice*.”

“I will insult you and defend myself if that would help.”

“No, I don’t want to hit you now. I’m sure that’ll change the next time you reroute power, though.”

“I do not do that any more unless it is vital. I understand why it’s wrong now,” Seven said a bit defensively.

Lt Torres grinned. “I was teasing you, Seven. How are you doing? I heard that you had a boyfriend in Unimatrix Zero, but he’s on the other side of the galaxy.”

She genuinely wanted to know, Seven noted in surprise. “I am confused. I did apparently have a six year relationship with Axum, and he is on the far side of the Beta Quadrant. I remember how I felt, and I did allow the relationship to be somewhat rekindled, but I believe after discussing the matter with the captain and thinking about it, I merely talked myself into it for the experience,” she admitted. “It seemed so romantic and I want so badly to fit in. It seemed like if I could only understand romance and be successful at it, then I would finally have succeeded in being human. Captain Janeway said it doesn’t work like that.”

“Love is confusing at the best of times, Seven. Kahless knows I’m no good at it either. Relationships based on fantasy probably aren’t the best choices, though. Unimatrix Zero sounds like the holodeck and falling in love with a holo character. It’s possible, but probably not something you should hold onto,” Lt Torres said more gently than Seven had ever heard her speak.

Seven sat beside her on the biobed and thought about that. “When I first appeared in Unimatrix Zero, it was as I am. Axum did not like that I retained my implants and Borg mannerisms. After that, I changed my appearance to be fully human. I did not even think about it, but he could have vastly changed his appearance as well. I do not even know what he looks like. I believe you are correct. It was not real. He did not like who I am, only a fantasy of me, and I cared only for the fantasy of him,” she realized. “But how do you know if you love someone? Captain Janeway said that if you think about someone constantly and want to spend all your time with them, it could be love, but she also said that it is easy to mistake friendship for love.”

“That sounds right. It’s equally easy to mistake love for friendship. It took me a long time to realize I loved Tom as more than just a friend,” Lt Torres said.

Seven thought of the captain -- Kathryn. “I have been wondering about something, but I have been afraid to ask the captain. The Doctor said I had to chose a male for my date, but I’ve seen two female ensigns kissing in the corridors. Is it permissible to date one’s own gender?” she asked tentatively.

Lt Torres looked at her oddly. “It’s fine, and some people think it’s the only way to go. Most people have no gender bias, though usually people slightly favor one sex over the other. A few people think it’s wrong, mostly religious fundamentalists, but that opinion is considered even more unenlightened than xenophobia. It varies by race, but it’s perfectly acceptable for humans. It’s not very acceptable for Klingons, but I favor my human side in that. I had a female lover or two years ago, though don’t tell anyone that. I’ll take a look at the Doctor’s program; Dr Zimmerman must’ve been one of those throwbacks. No wonder you’ve had so much trouble with romance.”

“Do you think perhaps that I am merely one of those people who only like their own gender and that is why I cannot assimilate romance?” Seven asked.

“You could be. Is there one woman in particular you think you have feelings for, or women in general?”

“I think I may love one woman, but I am uncertain. I have found I function better in her presence; I feel lessened when she is angry with me; I think about her all the time; my heart rate and respiration increase when she is close to me; I find myself making excuses to see her. When we touch, I feel electrical current go through my body. Holding her hand was far more pleasant than kissing Axum. Does that sound like it might be love?” Seven questioned hopefully.

“It sounds like love to me. Who is it? I swear on my honor I’ll never tell anyone, even Tom. It’ll be easier for me to help you figure out if she feels the same if I know who it is.”

Seven hesitated, but Lt Torres was an honorable woman. “It’s Captain Janeway,” she whispered, though she had no idea why. Cmdr Tuvok was unconscious, and he would never tell anyone even if he heard. He undoubtedly already knew after mind melding with both of them.

“I thought so. I’m pretty sure she loves you, too; the problem will be getting her to admit it and act on it. There’s an unwritten rule in Starfleet that captains don’t get involved with their crew, and then there’s her guilt over getting us stranded in the Delta Quadrant. I think she feels that she doesn’t deserve happiness until we get home,” Lt Torres warned her gently.

“It is that obvious? I felt love and longing from her when we mind-melded, but I thought it was the love of a friend and a wish that I could be that human in reality. She thinks I am beautiful, and I think I saw her project an image of us kissing, but I thought it was merely an appreciation of aesthetics. Do you think there is any hope she may allow us to be involved?”

“It is, if you’re paying attention. I thought you thought of her more as a mother figure like I do, though. The way she looks at you when she thinks no one is looking, the way she invades your personal space and touches you casually more than she does with everyone else, and the occasional almost flirtatious comment to you lead me to believe that she loves you. What you felt from her just confirms it. How did she react to Axum?”

Seven recounted the conversation and how the captain had held her hand, feeling hopeful, excited, and nervous. Could love have been right under her nose all this time? Would it work out this time?

Lt Torres was quiet and thoughtful after she finished. “I think the signs are very positive that she’s ready or almost ready to admit it, if she thought her attentions would be welcomed. I wouldn’t just tell her, especially not for a while. Just try to spend more time with her off duty. The fact she asked you to call her Kathryn alone is a very good sign. We’ve been friends for years and she’s never invited me to use her first name. She only lets Chakotay and Tuvok, and I think she only lets Chakotay because he’s her first officer. I’ve never even heard her use an endearment with Naomi.”

“A sound plan. I will utilize it. Do you think it would be too obvious if I was slightly more tactile when we are alone? Not anything overt, but returning the casual touches she offers?” The risk of opening herself emotionally to the woman who did not like her had paid off. She thought perhaps they may even be friends someday.

“Slightly. Touch her with your Borg hand. Be a little more vulnerable with her. Keep showing her that you trust her with the parts of yourself that you keep hidden from the rest of us. It wouldn’t hurt to let go of a little of your reserve with more of the crew. The more she sees you adjusting, the more likely she is to approach you,” Lt Torres suggested.

“I will try, but it is difficult when hardly anyone seems to *want* to socialize with me,” Seven confessed. “Plus, when I am nervous, I tend to act more Borg-like.”

“Come by Sandrine’s; I’ll teach you how to play pool and darts; I bet you’d be great at those. We can bet on games and clean the men out of their rations, though no fair keeping Tom’s. You know… I bet the captain would teach you how to play. It would be a good way to spend time with her. She likes to teach you new things, but it’s more casual than the usual things you do together.”

“An efficient plan. Having a set activity would make socializing easier and give me something to talk about other than work. I will ask her to teach me privately so we can ‘surprise’ the others. Though I do not think I will mention that part to her.”

“Good idea. I think I can sleep now. You should hail her before she falls asleep waiting for you.”

“If you are sure. I will be ‘up’ if you need company. I have regenerated so much the last two days that I will not need to regenerate again for many hours,” Seven offered.

“Thanks. Night, Seven.”

“Goodnight, Lt Torres.”

“B’Elanna.”

“B’Elanna,” Seven repeated, trying out her smile. B’Elanna smiled back and lay down. The day had been full of revelations and successes. Perhaps she had made progress in becoming more human after all.

Chapter Two

Kathryn looked across her dining table feeling a little bemused. Seven was eating blueberry pancakes in a Starfleet issue undershirt and boxers with her hair down and unbrushed and her feet bare as if it were something she did every morning instead of an entirely new situation. She hadn’t seemed that shaken by sharing her bed last night either. Kathryn was not quite sure how that had happened, even though nothing *had* happened. It had been completely platonic.

Kathryn had been thinking about her conversation with Seven and wondering what kind of help the Doctor had needed and when Seven would hail her. Their interaction had been different -- Seven more open and affectionate than usual. Her hands were still tingling from being clasped in Seven’s, and she tried to pretend for about thirty seconds that it was an effect from the faint electrical current that powered the implant. When Seven hailed her to let her know that B’Elanna was fine, she’d invited her to come back and talk a little more. Seven had accepted. They had sat on the couch and Kathryn had found herself leaning against her and asking Seven to put her arm around her. Seven had done so a little awkwardly, but very willingly and she hadn’t seemed to think there was anything odd about her request. She’d explained that when she had been severed, she’d wanted to be held, but hadn’t felt able to admit it. They’d discussed B’Elanna for a bit, but she felt there was something Seven wasn’t telling her.

After a while, Kathryn had started to yawn and Seven had insisted that she go to bed. She hadn’t wanted to be alone -- or more accurately, without Seven. Seven had offered to sit with her until she feel asleep. Somehow, she’d invited Seven too spend the night. In her bed. Seven had been intrigued by the idea of sleep and had agreed. Seven had carried her to the door of the en suite and left her to ready herself for bed in private. Kathryn had taken a quick sonic shower and recycled her clothes before putting them back on. A nightgown hadn’t seemed appropriate for a platonic sleepover. She had called to Seven that it was safe to enter as soon as she was in bed. Seven had came in wearing a Starfleet issue t-shirt and shorts with her hair down and barefoot. She looked absolutely breathtaking. Kathryn had realized she’d never seen Seven’s legs before. She had a delicate silver implant that came out from under the leg of her shorts all the way down her thigh that terminated in a starburst just above her ankle. She’d wondered what it was for, but hadn’t asked. She assumed the starburst enhanced her strength, but what the rest of it did, she had no idea. Seven had laid down awkwardly and lain still on her back. “If you get bored and can’t sleep, there are some blank pads in my desk drawer. You can work at my workstation or on the couch or come back to bed,” Kathryn had offered just before succumbing to sleep.

She had awakened in Seven’s arms with her head tucked under Seven’s chin. Seven had already been awake and unbothered. Kathryn had apparently had a nightmare and had snuggled up to Seven for protection. Seven had dismissed it as a natural instinct for comfort and assured her the experience had not caused her any discomfort and urged her back to sleep -- and hadn’t let go of her. She’d allowed herself to doze for a while, lulled by the steady heartbeat under her ear and the warmth of the covers and Seven. Seven’s abdominal implant had dug into her, hard and unyielding, but she hadn’t minded. It was part of Seven, and everything else was pleasant. She hadn’t slept that well since she was a child.

The next time she had awakened, Seven had shaken her shoulder and told her breakfast was ready. How Seven had figured out that she was hungry for waffles, eggs, and bacon, she didn’t know. It wasn’t something she ate often. Her first cup of coffee was at the perfect temperature and it was the best coffee she’d had since the last cup her sister had made for her. Seven didn’t drink coffee, so how she had managed that miracle was also a mystery. “How did you get my replicator to behave?” she asked finally.

“I promised it I wouldn’t tell,” Seven said seriously, looking up from her pancakes.

“I’m going to have to invite you over more often. This is the best breakfast I’ve had since my last morning at my mother’s,” she smiled. “The coffee is spectacular.” Too late, she realized that had sounded rather flirtatious. At least she hadn’t said she’d have gotten herself assimilated years ago if she’d known it’d rate this kind of service, or asked Seven if she’d threatened to assimilate her replicator. Flirting was better than reminding her of bad memories or hurting her feelings.

Seven looked very pleased and flushed slightly. “I hoped my adjustments would improve the taste, but I could not be certain since I do not like coffee at all.”

“You’ve tried it?” Kathryn asked.

“Once. I was curious. I do not understand the appeal,” Seven admitted.

“It’s an acquired taste, especially black. A lot of people think it tastes better with milk and sugar or chocolate.”

“I did not know that. I like milk and I like hot chocolate. I will attempt that permutation the next time I require liquid nutrition,” Seven said looking intrigued.

“I’d offer to fix it for you, but my replicator obviously likes you better.” Great, just assume that the next time she wants a drink, she’ll be with you.

“I am part machine; perhaps it thinks I am its cousin,” Seven replied, just a hint of a grin quirking the corner of her mouth.

Kathryn almost choked on her coffee. “Maybe I should’ve had the Doctor leave a few implants then. Some of them were kinda cute.”

“I had never considered that they had any aesthetic value,” Seven said quietly.

“They do on you, but you’re a beautiful woman to start with,” Kathryn said without thinking.

Seven flushed. “I thought I might be a little pretty, but I did not know I was beautiful,” she said shyly.

Kathryn snorted. “Seven, calling you a little pretty is like calling the Collective a little obsessive. I’ve seen several men and even a few women walk into bulkheads because they were so busy looking at you.”

Seven was actually blushing. It was absolutely adorable. “I had not realized that was why. I thought they were afraid I would assimilate them. But why would the women look at me like that?” she asked in confusion.

Kathryn stared at her. Seven didn’t know…? That would explain why Seven didn’t know she loved her. She didn’t know it was possible. “The same reasons the men do. Seven, are you under the impression that only men and women can be together… sexually?” she asked gently.

“Yes. You mean that is not the case? B’Elanna said something about it, but I thought she was ‘setting me up’ for a practical joke. When the Doctor was giving me social lessons, he never said I could chose a female, and I assumed he would know. Besides, two women or two men cannot procreate.”

Kathryn pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. She knew she should’ve sat Seven down and given her The Talk, but she had assumed that Seven knew the facts and only lacked the emotional context and that she’d learn that as she went. “Seven, I’ve really let you down. I should’ve talked to you about these things instead of letting you figure them out on your own or with the Doctor, especially after I realized he had a crush on you. Now I wonder if he gave you any practical advice at all. I should’ve taken more of a hand in your socialization lessons in general and with dating in particular. I’m really sorry.”

“You had little enough time for the responsibilities you already had; you could not be expected to teach a drone how to be human, too. You have taught me plenty already; it was not unreasonable to assume that I would figure out socializing on my own in time. It is not your fault I am not good at it. Perhaps I would not have been even if I had not been assimilated. I do not think my parents were concerned about my socialization,” Seven pointed out.

“You were never just a drone to me, Seven. I didn’t really think of you as a drone even when you were. Why do you think I severed you in the first place? I always saw an individual looking back at me,” Kathryn said intently, leaning forward and covering Seven’s hand with her own.

“I have always assumed that you severed me to punish Chakotay for disobeying your orders. You could not put him in the brig or demote him without damaging your command, so you severed me and kept me on your ship as a subtle reminder of his failure, and the fact I was human was just a justification. It was only later that you started to like me,” Seven said matter-of-factly.

“Annoying Chakotay was just a side benefit, abet a satisfying one. I severed you because you were human and equally because… well, I liked you already. I wanted to get to know you better. I wouldn’t have forced you to stay if I hadn’t been honestly convinced it was the best thing for you, though. I would’ve left you on a planet somewhere with supplies and a locator and let you go back to the Borg if I’d thought you honestly wanted to after having a taste of individuality. Fortunately, I was right,” Kathryn finally confessed. “I have to admit, I’ve always been surprised that you’re so polite to him considering it was only luck that he didn’t kill you, too.”

“He is irrelevant and not worth wasting any emotion on,” Seven explained coolly.

“I’d almost pay you to say that to his face, if I wasn’t the captain,” Kathryn chuckled. “He does have his good points. He doesn’t mind doing the more routine reports or working extra shifts. But I’ve never really forgiven him for that situation. He could’ve gotten us all killed or assimilated, and that was not really how I wanted to get to know you better.”

“You would have had everyone in Unimatrix Zero organized into a rebellion within a week,” Seven said. “The Doctor would have lead the battle from the outside.”

“I would’ve tried at least,” Kathryn conceded.

“I am not certain if Annika would have helped or not,” Seven said reluctantly.

“Maybe not. She wouldn’t have known me as well as you do or known what being an individual was really like. It might have frightened her,” Kathryn allowed.

“I think it might have. She was… lesser,” Seven said slowly, trying to explain. “She was too quick to change herself to fit in, would not voice a contrary opinion, was too passive. Yet Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of the Unimatrix Zero One was too reluctant to change at all, was too convinced she was always right, too arrogant and forceful when she did not need to be. And Seven wants to be somewhere in between, but cannot figure out how. Is it normal to feel like more than one person?” Seven asked in frustration.

“To a certain degree, everyone does. I know I do. There’s Captain Janeway and Kathryn. I haven’t figured out a balance between the two either,” Kathryn said reassuringly. “Then again, I’ve spent most of my life concentrating on being the Starfleet officer and not taking the time or effort to be just me.”

“It is easier,” Seven said understandingly. “Until we get to the Alpha Quadrant, you must always be the captain to some degree.”

“Right. I overdo it, I know. After six years together, I don’t think the ship would fall apart and the crew would mutiny if I spent a few evenings in Sandrine’s drinking beer and telling dirty jokes, yet I don’t,” Kathryn admitted.

“Perhaps we could practice together. It seems to be going well so far,” Seven suggested a little timidly. “I trust you, and I believe I have proven my loyalty over the last three years. No matter how much I may ever disagree, I will never, ever mutiny. Though I could understand how you could doubt that. I have worked against the Borg Queen, and I knew her for quite a bit longer.”

Seven was babbling. It was so cute. “I was going to suggest the same thing. That we practice together, not that you might mutiny. I know you won’t.”

“Good,” Seven said, relieved.

“Computer, state the time,” Kathryn ordered. Shouldn’t it be about time for alpha shift to start?

“It is ten hundred hours.”

“Are you working beta shift today?” Kathryn asked, trying to remember the schedule. She always had Seven’s schedule mirror her own, and she didn’t remember deciding to take a different shift. Chakotay did all the scheduling, so he could’ve slipped something past her.

“No, Captain. Cmdr Chakotay ordered me to help the Doctor with you, Lt Torres, and Cmdr Tuvok today and tomorrow. The Doctor told me he would hail if he required assistance and to partake of leisure activities otherwise. Apparently, I require time to recover myself. I apologize, I thought the commander was relaying orders you had given him. I will dress and report to Astrometrics immediately.” She started to stand.

“Belay that. Sit,” Kathryn ordered from force of habit. “Sorry. I mean, you don’t have to go. You don’t normally take time off, and I didn’t want to keep you from anything.”

“I am unaccustomed to leisure and have yet to learn how to be idle. In the Collective, we worked until it was time to regenerate, then we worked some more after our cycles. I become uneasy if I do not have a set schedule,” she explained.

“I get bored if I don’t have work to do after a while. Maybe later we can rescue B’Elanna from sickbay and go to the holodeck for a socialization lesson,” Kathryn offered. “You could be working and having fun at the same time.”

“Acceptable. As long as it is socializing where you can sit down.”

“Okay. What do you normally do when you’re not working, regenerating, watching the children, and neither Naomi or I are making you spend time with us?” Kathryn asked curiously, realizing she had never asked that before. “For that matter, who *is* watching the children? I didn’t even think of them when I asked you to stay with me last night.”

“Icheb and Neelix are taking care of them outside of their lessons with Naomi. I research the database.”

Kathryn waited for her to continue. “Is that all you do other than work or regenerate?” Kathryn finally prompted.

“Yes.”

“You don’t have any hobbies?”

“Sometimes I sing with the Doctor or play the piano if the holodeck is free when I desire to play,” she said shyly. “I listen to music sometimes while I am researching.”

“Mother made me take piano lessons when I was young, but I wasn’t very good at it. I like to sing, but I’m no good at that either. Would you play something for me sometime?”

Seven hesitated. “I am not very good.”

“Seven, usually what you consider ‘not good’ and what most people consider ‘not good’ don’t mesh. If you really don’t want to, I won’t force you, but I’d really like it if you would.”

“I will show you my program. Next week,” Seven conceded.

Kathryn was already wondering how many replicator rations a piano would cost. She *did* have three years’ worth of birthdays to make up for. Maybe she could talk a few people into chipping in. They’d never even attempted to celebrate it, even Neelix. Kathryn didn’t even remember her birthday most of the time; she couldn’t remember when Seven’s was or how old the woman was. She made a mental note to look it up and program the computer to remind her.

B’Elanna had eagerly accepted the captain’s invitation to join her and Seven in the holodeck for lunch and a social lesson. The Doctor had protested until Seven had assured him that she would not let either of them do anything remotely taxing and that it would be extremely helpful in their emotional recovery. It was clear that she was speaking from experience, though there was no hint of reproach in her tone or a silent ‘unlike what you did to me’, B’Elanna could see both the Doctor and the captain wince. Seven had too and she had looked stricken. B’Elanna would never forget what Seven had said. “I did not mean to imply that your treatment of my severance was deficient. You were all too busy with important things like fighting the Borg, Kes’s ascension, and repairing the ship to be bothered with one insignificant drone. But the ship was not as badly damaged, the Borg are not pursuing now, and the recovery of the captain, chief engineer, and the chief of security is vital for the whole of this col -- crew, and I have time to help.” She’d been completely sincere. “Plus, I was too Borg to know how to socialize; that is not the case here.”

B’Elanna had spent the night and morning thinking about her conversation with Seven. She was not given to introspection and that and her temper had gotten her into trouble more than once. She had taken Seven at face value and assigned the worst motives to every action. She had never stopped to think that Seven was merely being the only way she knew how to be and she truly believed that she was being helpful when she rerouted power or fiddled with things. That Seven had come as far as she had was amazing when B’Elanna truly stopped and thought about how she and most of the crew treated the poor woman. B’Elanna had read the biographical information about Seven which had been thankfully cross referenced because she hadn’t remembered what her name really was. Annika Hansen. It was a name that suited her -- feminine and strong. Her parents had been exobiologists who had studied the Borg, she’d remembered that from when the Borg Queen had blackmailed Seven into returning to the Collective. Her feelings for the Borg had started to change then. It had been an incredibly brave and selfless thing to do, if stupid. The admiration had gotten lost in the petty, everyday annoyances. She hadn’t remembered that Seven had been an only child, alone on a small research ship with only self-absorbed parents for company from the age of three until she was six and had been assimilated. She was a few months younger than B’Elanna. That had put it into perspective for her. Seven had likely never learned how to get along with people to begin with, and she’d been so young when she’d been assimilated, it was unlikely she really remembered being human at all. She couldn’t imagine how difficult it had to be to be Seven. They had all expected her to act like a normal human adult right from the start except for the captain. No wonder Janeway gave Seven so much slack.

“Are you all right, B’Elanna?” Seven asked, looking faintly concerned.

“I’m fine, just thinking. Seven, do you remember your childhood at all?”

“With my parents? A little, mostly just flashes when something reminds me of it. I remember sitting on Papa’s lap and asking him if the Borg would assimilate us, and he hugged me and said that the Borg were just curious about us like we were in them and they were just people like we were and nothing to worry about. I remember when they boarded and took us, and watching my parents be assimilated, and my own assimilation,” she recounted softly. “I could have saved him, but I did not because he and my mother betrayed me,” she added even more softly.

“You were only six, what could you have done?” B’Elanna protested.

“Not then. He was in the Queen’s chamber when I was rescued after I had gone back. I could have grabbed him and taken him with us, but I did not. I could say I did not because he would have fought and slowed us down too much to escape, but truly, I did not because I was and still am angry because he stole my life as surely as if he had assimilated me himself,” Seven revealed. “Parents are supposed to protect their children.”

“You have to try to let it go if you want to move on, Seven. Trust me, hanging on to hate and hurt and anger doesn’t do you any good. They were self-absorbed and misguided as hell, and you paid the ultimate price for it. But they were just human. People make mistakes. I know that doesn’t really help much. But you never would’ve met the captain, or Naomi, or the Doctor, or the children if you hadn’t been assimilated. Try to think of that instead of all the years of possibilities that were stolen from you,” B’Elanna said gently. “It took nearly killing myself to figure that out.”

Seven was looking thoughtful, and the captain was looking at her approvingly. B’Elanna basked in it. Kathryn Janeway was not a mother figure to B’Elanna, but she had resigned herself to never having her years ago. Any hope had died when Seven came aboard. She was keeping that to herself, however.

“You are right, B’Elanna. I should consider my childhood as I do my time in the Collective -- an unfortunate event that cannot be changed and that I am learning to overcome. The Hansens are dead and there is no point in being angry with corpses,” Seven said finally. “This is not fun. I believe you mentioned drinking and dirty jokes, Kathryn?”

“Got room for three more?” Tom asked from behind the captain and Seven. “Chakotay gave me and Harry a couple hours off because he’ll need us partway into beta shift when we’re ready to go back to warp. We decided to take the time to visit while we had it. We stopped by sickbay and found Miss Naomi here trying to pry information out of the Doctor. I thought you’d like to reassure her yourself that you’re fine, Captain,” he explained.

“Don’t you have lessons, Miss Wildman?” Janeway asked mock-sternly.

“No, Captain, my tutor is going over material I’ve already studied, and she said I could go and she’d hail when she was finished,” Naomi said, adopting Seven’s favorite stance. It was cute how she mimicked Seven.

“Well, then, pull up a chair, Miss Wildman, gentlemen, and join us,” Janeway said graciously.

Harry and Tom quickly pushed another table against theirs and brought over two extra chairs. Tom and Harry sat on either side of her and Naomi sat beside Seven. B’Elanna was surprised when Seven hugged the young girl and apologized for missing their kadis kots game the day before. Seven was not affectionate and she didn’t apologize.

“It’s okay, Seven, you were busy. I didn’t expect you to make it. I didn’t expect to get to see you today, so that makes up for it,” Naomi said understandingly. “What’s a dirty joke?”

B’Elanna wasn’t going to volunteer to answer that and stared at her cup like it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen.

“I am uncertain myself. Perhaps jokes dealing with biological functions,” Seven answered. “Why don’t you tell one of your favorite jokes? Perhaps today will be the day I remember how to laugh,” she suggested smoothly.

“You don’t know how to laugh?” B’Elanna asked. She’d always assumed Seven either didn’t have a sense of humor or was too restrained to laugh, not that she couldn’t.

“No, I do not. I sometimes wish to, but it has yet to happen. I am hopeful that eventually I will remember. It does not look difficult,” Seven said hopefully.

“We’ll tell you all our best -- and worst -- jokes until you have to laugh in self defense to make us stop,” Tom promised with a grin. “I’ll start with an old style of joke called a ‘knock knock’ joke. They were told back when homes had wooden doors that had to be opened manually and no entrance chimes. One had to knock on the door to request to come in,” he explained. “Knock knock. Someone say ‘who’s there’.”

“I remember knock knock jokes,” the captain said. “Who’s there?”

“Orange.”

“Orange who?”

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Orange.”

“Orange who?”

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Orange.”

“Orange who?”

“Orange you glad I didn’t say ‘knock knock’?”

Everyone groaned except for Seven who raised her ocular implant. “I assume that was one of the ‘worst’ ones?”

“Yep. Some jokes are so bad you have to laugh, but I guess that one isn’t.”

“This is a really old, bad joke, but I loved it when I was five. Why did -- Oh, wait, I can’t tell that one. Never mind,” Harry said hastily. He mentally smacked himself in the forehead. He liked Seven and didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Sometimes he wished he’d think before speaking.

“You knew dirty jokes when you were five?” Naomi asked with interest. “How come I can’t hear any then?”

“It’s not dirty,” Harry said quickly. “It’s about numbers,” he added reluctantly.

B’Elanna frowned, whether in warning or because she didn’t know what joke he was talking about, he wasn’t sure, but Tom and the captain were looking at each other and nodding. The captain looked slightly apprehensive.

“Ah, you do not want to offend me. Go ahead and tell it, Harry, before B’Elanna and Naomi explode from curiosity. I will not be offended,” Seven said, smiling slightly.

“Okay. Why was six afraid of seven?” Harry asked quickly, hoping she wouldn’t be.

“I could offer a suggestion, but please continue,” Seven said, actually appearing interested in the answer.

“Because seven ate nine,” he blurted and winced.

Seven’s lips twitched and she started to laugh. It was quiet and rusty, but definitely a laugh. Seven was so shocked she stopped for a moment, but then she started again louder. It transformed her face and suddenly she looked very young and human. He wasn’t the only one transfixed; everyone else was staring at her. Harry grinned, feeling like he was the king of the universe. Captain Janeway was looking at her with eyes filled with joy, wonder, and love. Any hope he’d ever secretly harbored that someday Seven might fall for him died, but he didn’t mind. He hadn’t really expected it to ever happen, and the captain would make a much better partner for Seven than he ever could. He was happy enough just being the first person to make her laugh.

“Seven’s not a cannibal,” Naomi protested reproachfully.

“No, but Six was,” Seven gasped between laughs, laughing even harder. She bent over and clutched her stomach with both arms.

At that, everyone cracked up. Her laughter was infectious to start with, but the idea of a cannibalistic drone was hilarious. Naomi giggled a little, but she still looked offended.

“How does one stop laughing?” Seven choked out, clearly alarmed.

It set them off again. Harry tried to gather himself enough to answer seriously, but he couldn’t. It felt too good to laugh. Seeing Seven laughing and happy was strangely healing. If Seven could learn to laugh after the life she had been forced to live, then there was hope for them all.

Seven did not remember ever feeling so relaxed and happy. It was not entirely because of Kathryn’s head on her shoulder and the narrow, strong shoulders under her arm. She had laughed. “I was wrong,” she admitted quietly to Kathryn. “It is not romance that makes you human. It is sharing laughter with friends.” She felt like Tom, Harry, and B’Elanna were her friends now, too. They had laughed with her and looked at her with friendly eyes like she was part of them.

“I think you may have something there. Friends are more important than a lover in many ways, and sharing laughter is an elemental aspect of social interaction,” Kathryn said thoughtfully. “I’m glad I was there to see your first laugh. You have a wonderful laugh,” she added softly.

Seven flushed. She loved it when she made Kathryn happy. How could she not have known why? “Thank you, Kathryn. I was pleased you witnessed the event, too. I like sharing new experiences with you.” Was that too obvious? B’Elanna had told her to be subtle and go slow. Since she was in a successful long term relationship, her advice was likely sound.

“So do I. You make me see the world with new eyes. Being your friend and helping you rediscover your humanity has helped me rediscover my own. I hadn’t even realized I was losing it,” Kathryn revealed in that husky emotional tone Seven so adored.

Seven considered that with some shock. She had not known that. It pleased her to know that she had helped her captain with more than data and her engineering skills. “We have been learning together all along then. I… I lack the emotional vocabulary to express how I feel,” she said, frustrated.

“I know how you feel about me, Seven. I could sense your emotions while we were mind melded,” she confessed very quietly, stiffening slightly.

Seven was afraid and braced herself for the gentle, understanding rejection she was sure was coming. “You… You did?” she questioned nervously. “I did not realize I was… projecting,” she added awkwardly.

“I suspected you didn’t, and I hadn’t intended to mention it until you were ready to tell me. I feel much the same about you, so you can relax before you strain something,” Kathryn teased gently.

“You… you do?” Seven asked, hoping they were talking about the same feelings.

“Yes, I do. I thought you knew all along and were just waiting to speak of it until the mind meld, or I would’ve tried to be more obvious,” she explained. “We don’t have to discuss it any more until you’re ready.”

“It never occurred to me that you might have felt the same until last night. I knew you cared for me, but I did not know how. I did not know how to categorize my own feelings until after talking with you and B’Elanna last night,” she explained. “It relieved me greatly. I thought I was defective when I felt more holding your hand than I did kissing Axum,” she admitted shyly.

“I’ve tried to convince myself more than once that the reason my hands tingle when we touch is because your implants give off some sort of energy despite knowing better,” Kathryn revealed with a crooked grin.

“They do, but not enough that it should be noticeable,” Seven said, frowning. “Perhaps we should have the Doctor make sure you are not merely unusually sensitive to it.”

“If it would make you feel better, but we’d have to explain why we wanted testing done,” Kathryn pointed out.

“Do you not want anyone to know about the change in our interaction?” Seven asked uncertainly. She had not considered that.

“Have we changed it? Do you want to be a couple?” Kathryn asked, sounding almost as uncertain as Seven felt.

“Isn’t that the next step after admitting that we love one another? Did I miss something in my research?”

“Yesterday you were kissing someone else and didn’t know you loved me. I don’t want rush you,” Kathryn explained.

“I have loved you for some time, and I will not kiss anyone else. I do not require more time to know that I wish to be your romantic partner, but I will be patient if you do.” Seven was uncertain what the problem was, but she was sure Kathryn would tell her eventually.

“You’re positive you’re ready to try dating again?” Kathryn asked, searching her eyes for any sign of doubt.

Seven faltered. “Dating? I am no good at dates. We already know each other. Can’t we skip that part?”

“Seven, this afternoon could be considered a date. We went together to spend time with our friends. It went well, didn’t it?”

“I will not have to consume any thing with an exoskeleton or dance, will I?” Seven asked resignedly, knowing she would if Kathryn asked.

“No exoskeletons, but I would like to teach you how to dance properly. It’s a good way to be able to hold each other in public without making anyone uncomfortable,” Kathryn promised.

“You do not ‘play fair’,” Seven grumbled. “If I damage you, do not blame me.”

“We Janeways are much sturdier than Chapmans, and besides, dancing is all about nonverbal communication and we’re pretty good at that already,” Kathryn said reassuringly.

That was true. She often knew what Kathryn wanted without her having to say a word. “I will try again. After you are fully healed,” Seven acquiesced.

“Good. How about kissing? Are you ready to try that again?” Kathryn asked hopefully.

Seven considered it. She had enjoyed holding hands, and she was enjoying holding Kathryn. Kissing would likely be much more pleasant with Kathryn as well. “Yes. Do you wish to try it now?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” she conceded, grinning.

Seven stood and offered Kathryn her hand, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. She would succeed. Kathryn looked slightly confused, but allowed herself to be drawn up. Seven put her arms around Kathryn’s waist and drew her close. Kathryn willingly put her arms around her neck and tilted her face up. Seven bent her head and tentatively kissed her. It was very pleasant. Kathryn’s lips were much softer and warmer than Axum’s, and her smaller and softer body felt far better against her own. It felt right. “This is what I was missing. Love must be the missing variable,” she said in wonder, barely pulling back enough to look into Kathryn’s eyes. They were warm and blue which indicated Kathryn was happy. They were gray when Kathryn was angry, worried, scared, or bored. Kathryn liked her kiss and wasn’t sorry she had allowed it. It relieved her greatly. It was only the fourth time she had done it as an individual, and the first in reality. She decided the others didn’t count. “Was I sufficient? I have never kissed anyone outside my mind before,” she asked because she wanted Kathryn to know how important it was to her.

“It was the best kiss I’ve ever had. Love must indeed be the missing variable. If you get much more sufficient, I won’t be able to stand up,” Kathryn praised her sincerely. “I hoped I’d get to participate in your first kiss, and I guess I have,” she said, looking quite pleased.

“It is the only one that counts,” Seven said firmly. She blushed. “And I have never… done anything else,” she revealed shyly.

“In six years you and Axum never…?” Kathryn asked, clearly shocked.

“I never wanted to which should have been a clue,” Seven admitted. “I always ended my cycle when his hand started to wander. He merely assumed that I was a very important drone with very bad luck.”

“So should I be suspicious if there’s a red alert every time I try to get to second base?” Kathryn teased.

“‘Second base’?” Seven asked, confused.

“An old teenager’s way of differentiating levels of intimacy based on an old Earth game called ‘baseball’ where one scored by reaching four bases -- first, second, third, and home -- without being touched by the ball. You pick up odd things growing up as a Traditionalist,,” Kathryn said wryly, shrugging. “Kissing is first base, second base involves touching breasts, I forget what third involves, and sliding into home is sex,” she explained further.

“I would not program the computer to call a false red alert. If I am not ready, or if I am nervous, I will tell you so. I feel safe enough with you to be honest,” Seven promised. “Besides, you always know when I am not telling you something. I am not very good at deception in reality.”

“No, you’re not. Don’t worry, I won’t try anything any time soon,” Kathryn promised.

Seven made a mental note to ask B’Elanna how long she had to wait before she could ask Kathryn to teach her about ‘second base’.

Chapter Three

Kathryn snuggled closer to her girlfriend incredibly happy to be overruled for once. Seven had insisted on spending the night with her again, even though they were dating now. Kathryn had argued more from a sense of propriety than actual desire. She was content to move slowly; at least they were moving forward. Seven was already awake again; Kathryn wondered if she had even slept. Someday she’d catch her at it. She was sure Seven would sleep with her again. In both senses of the word. Especially since Seven knew she slept better in her arms, and Seven often worried she didn’t sleep enough. She wondered how soon she could ask Seven to sleep with her every night she didn’t have to regenerate. Seven didn’t really have to be with the children during their cycles; Icheb was a very responsible young man and they could always hail Seven if necessary. Perhaps they could have social lessons together. Hopefully they would find Mezoti’s people and Rebi’s and Azan’s, and learning how to be part of a family would be helpful for all of them. Did Seven want children of her own someday? Could she even have children? She made a mental note to ask the Doctor before bringing the topic up with Seven. If Seven wasn’t able, she didn’t want Seven to be upset that she couldn’t provide something that Kathryn wanted. Kathryn wasn’t sure she did want children, and she certainly didn’t want them soon. The ones they had were enough.

“Sleep, Kathryn. Tonight I must regenerate and tomorrow we will both return to duty,” Seven said soothingly.

“Have you slept at all?” she asked.

“Yes, for two point thirty-two hours,” she said rather proudly. “It was an intriguing experience. Not as efficient as regeneration, but not a waste of time as I have suspected.”

“From you that’s a ringing endorsement,” she said fondly. “Aren’t you bored just laying here being my pillow?”

“Holding you is not boring, Kathryn. It is the second most pleasurable activity I have ever experienced, though admittedly watching the Omega molecule stabilize is a close third,” she said apologetically.

Kathryn blinked. This was one for the logs. Seven was apologizing because holding her was only the *second* biggest religious experience of her life, only a little more so than the thing she had spent nineteen years of her life yearning to see. “What is the first?” she asked curiously, though she thought she already knew.

“Kissing you,” Seven said as if it were the only choice.

“Seven, if I ever imply that you’re not romantic enough, remind me of this moment,” she said quietly.

“I did something romantic?” Seven asked in confusion.

“You said holding and kissing me were better than watching the Omega molecule stabilize. I saw how much that affected you,” she explained.

“That was merely the truth,” Seven said, still sounding confused.

“I’m even luckier than I thought. Very few people are loved as much as you love me,” Kathryn said, thinking she must be dreaming.

“I am the lucky one. You love me,” Seven countered.

She was definitely dreaming. She didn’t want to ever wake up.

Seven put the finishing touches on the table and checked her inner chronometer. It was still too early to wake Kathryn. She slipped back into bed and turned her attention back to her pad while Kathryn returned to her favorite sleeping position without waking up. It made her feel special to know that just her presence in Kathryn’s bed helped her beloved sleep deeply. Kathryn required romance and she was determined not to fail. She would do her best this morning, then ask B’Elanna for help later. She could not believe she had forgotten about romance until she had accidentally said something romantic. This would not do. She had to assimilate romance and never forget to let Kathryn know how much she was loved. She had decided to write a list of all the things she loved about Kathryn in hopes she’d stumble across another truth that was romantic. She had also decided to attempt to write a poem. She understood from the database that was very romantic, and she knew Kathryn loved poetry. She’d never attempted any kind of creative writing, but she didn’t think it was required to be *good*. Kathryn would undoubtedly be extremely pleased that she had thought to try. She liked it when Seven tried new things, especially creative pursuits. She would ask Kathryn to recommend poets to research to give her an idea what a love poem was supposed to be like. Perhaps Kathryn would like to read poetry together. She would work up to sharing her music. She was not sure why she didn’t mind if Kathryn thought her poetry was bad, but she was very afraid Kathryn wouldn’t like her music. She had composed many pieces about and for Kathryn which she supposed should’ve been another clue that she was in love with her. She hadn’t written anything else, or thought of sharing them with anyone but Kathryn. She did not like to share her emotions. Only Kathryn made her feel safe enough, and often she could not even with her.

“Icheb to Seven of Nine. Mezoti has had a nightmare and requires your reassurances you are well.”

Seven felt Kathryn regain consciousness. “Acknowledged. I will be right there.” She did not want to leave Kathryn, but she did not want the young girl to be afraid either. Kathryn would understand. Romance had to wait.

“I’ll keep your spot warm,” Kathryn said, moving off of her.

“I will return as quickly as I can. May I kiss you ‘goodbye’?” she asked hopefully.

“How about waiting and kissing me hello and good morning? I need to brush my teeth before we kiss and you have a child waiting for you.”

Kathryn sounded embarrassed, though Seven didn’t understand why. She would ask later. She would not attempt to persuade her. “Efficient. I will return shortly to ‘claim my prize’.” She was in the turbo lift before she realized that not only had she forgotten her com badge, she’d forgotten to get dressed. She decided her t-shirt and shorts covered her sufficiently, and walking through the ship barefoot wouldn’t harm her. It was unlikely she would run into any crew at 0500.

The turbo lift stopped and Ensigns Jenny and Megan Delaney stepped in reeking of alcohol and something else Seven couldn’t quite place. Seven tried not to breath deeply. She nodded politely. “Good morning, Ensigns.”

“Morning, Seven. Looks like you’ve had an interesting evening, too,” Jenny said with a friendly grin.

“I was sleeping with the captain when Icheb hailed to say Mezoti had had a nightmare and his efforts at reassurance had proven insufficient. In my haste, I completely forgot I was… out of uniform,” Seven explained.

“The captain didn’t come after you to let you know?” Jenny asked.

“She had more important things on her mind,” Seven explained, pleased with herself for being discreet and not mentioning that she was in the en suite. She had done that once and Kathryn had been very embarrassed.

“I bet,” Jenny smirked. Megan elbowed her in the ribs. “I mean, she must have been worried about Mezoti, too.”

“You should wear your hair down more often. It looks really nice,” Megan interjected.

“Thank you, Ensign. The captain prefers it down as well,” Seven replied, smiling and feeling very proud of herself for managing small talk so well.

“If you’d ever like help styling it or fashion advice for a date, Jenny and I would be happy to help. We’re pretty good at makeovers. Not that you need one; you always look great. But sometimes it’s nice to surprise a date with a different look,” Megan offered.

“Thank you. The Borg never assimilated fashion sense,” Seven joked.

Both ensigns laughed. “You should… sleep… more often. It agrees with you,” Jenny said with another friendly grin.

“It is not nearly as inefficient as I thought, and the Doctor says I should start doing it more often. I am hoping that the captain will allow me to share her bed more often on nights I do not have to regenerate. There are no free quarters and it *is* an important step in regaining my humanity, after all. ”

“I wish the Doctor would write *me* notes like that,” Jenny said.

“Here’s our deck. Hail us any time you want some help, Seven,” Megan said hastily.

“I will, thank you.” Seven would never understand the fascination with alcohol. It made people act so strangely.

Kathryn shook her head when Seven came in the door. She was going to have to stake her claim publicly immediately if anyone saw Seven. “How does someone with an eidetic memory forget to get dressed and put on shoes?” she teased.

“I am unused to needing to get dressed. I never remove my biosuit. My regeneration cycles remove the bacteria and dirt from it as well as my body,” Seven explained. “Plus, I was distracted by thinking of being allowed to kiss you when I returned. I did not even notice until I was on the turbo lift and the Delaney sisters got on, and after that, it seemed a bit pointless. Megan offered to give me fashion advice, and complimented me on my hairstyle. I told them that the Borg had not assimilated fashion sense. They laughed.”

Kathryn chuckled. “Is Mezoti all right?”

“Yes, she is fine. She dreamed that I had died when we destroyed Unimatrix Zero. She overheard someone say that I had almost died because I was there just before it was destroyed. I told her that she should not listen to private conversations, but if she could not avoid it, she should tell Neelix if I am unavailable and that he would likely know the truth or could find it out. Then I gave her a hug to prove that I was very much alive and sent her back to her alcove. I wish the crew would desist discussing such things around the children.”

“I agree. I’ll have Chakotay send a memo reminding them that we have three children with Borg enhanced hearing and some topics do not need discussing in front of them,” Kathryn promised.

“Thank you. You look especially aesthetically pleasing. I should have said that sooner, I am sorry.”

“Thank you, Seven. I saw the candles and the roses and decided I’d better dress up for my very first candlelight breakfast. I took the liberty of replicating and laying out an outfit for you.” She hoped Seven liked it. She was giving up three days’ worth of coffee.

Seven’s eyes lit up and she beamed. “You got me a present? I haven’t had one since my fifth birthday, but I remember I like them. Thank you!” Seven gave her an enthusiastic, but gentle hug and hurried into the bedroom.

Kathryn felt like an absolute jerk and the world’s worst captain and friend. Seven had been with them for three and a half years and *no one* had *ever* given her a present? How could no one have realized? Why the hell had she considered coffee more important than her best friend until they started dating? She couldn’t manage one birthday or even just a Christmas present? Finding a dilithium deposit and planning one hell of a birthday/unbirthday party just became top priority.

“All the garments are beautiful, and you remembered my favorite colors,” Seven said excitedly, coming back out of the bedroom. “I love you.” She hugged Kathryn again and kissed her on the cheek. “I am going to have a sonic shower, then dress.”

“Okay. I’m going to send Chakotay a memo to take care of our crew problem, so take your time.”

“Wouldn’t hailing him be more efficient?” Seven suggested.

“No, because he’ll want to talk,” Kathryn said, thinking fast.

“Ah, yes, of course. I retract my suggestion.”

Kathryn sat down at her workstation and called up the intraship message center.

Chakotay,

We have some situations. First, Mezoti heard some of the crew discussing the destroying of Unimatrix Zero and had a nightmare that Seven had died. Could you send out a memo reminding the crew that little pitchers have big ears? And most of them are Borg enhanced?

The second and third involve Seven. Rediscovering Unimatrix Zero had led Seven to realize she’s in love with me -- and no, it’s not a crush. I felt her emotions while Tuvok was performing the bridging of minds. I’m just as in love and we’’ve came to a tentative understanding. I wanted you to be the first to know. Did you know that in three and a half years no one has ever given Seven a present? We’ve never once even attempted to celebrate her birthday, or included her in Christmas or anything. Obviously, I’ve been incredibly remiss myself; I’m the woman’s best friend and I could never be bothered until this morning. She hasn’t had a present since her *fifth* birthday. She was assimilated after her sixth birthday. I replicated her a plain cotton blouse, a pair of socks, and a pair of uniform pants, and had a pair of boots sent up (yes, I know I need to work on my romance skills), and she’s practically bouncing off the bulkheads in excitement and delight like I just gave her a ton of stabilized Omega molecules. Yes, Seven is excited. Get Icheb to scan for dilithium, and have Neelix start planning a party. I know Seven doesn’t like social gatherings, but I think she’d like a birthday party. To make it even worse, I can’t even remember when it is, but it doesn’t matter. We owe her. She’s saved us so many times; she’s sacrificed herself to the Borg for us, and we couldn’t even give her a damn cake once in three and a half years. I’m beginning to wonder how the hell she’s turned out as well as she has. She’s coming out of the shower… I want this to be a surprise, so be discreet.

Capt K. Janeway

“Kathryn, what do I do with these?” Seven asked curiously, holding up the white cotton socks.

“You put them on your feet. They’re socks. You need them with boots to regulate the temperature of your feet,” she explained.

“You got me boots too? I did not think to look for footwear,” Seven said ducking back into the bedroom happily. “They are just like yours. I have wanted to ask if I could have a pair because they look so much more comfortable and practical than the footwear the Doctor gives me, but I thought they might be only for Starfleet personnel and I do not want to join Starfleet.”

Good god, she had failed Seven. “You can wear the whole uniform if you want to. The Marquis do, and many of them don’t want to join Starfleet either. Neelix could have one if he wanted, but he doesn’t. At least, I don’t think he does. Maybe I should remind him he can have one if he wants. I’ll even approve a provisional rank insignia like the Marquis if you want. You’re head of Astrometrics, so you’re entitled to the rank of lieutenant,” Kathryn said. “You can resign it when we reach the Alpha Quadrant or if Starfleet tries to give you orders here.”

“Could we still be together? I know there are rules against fraternization,” Seven asked uncertainly.

“It’s more of a recommendation than a hard and fast rule, and Admiral Paris gave me permission to relax that protocol at my discretion in the first data stream anyway. I didn’t think to tell anyone since I’d already been doing it,” Kathryn explained. “So you can join Starfleet itself if you really want, and they won’t break us up.”

“I will consider the rank insignia. I’d like one, but Borg designations do not lend themselves to ranks, and I am not ready to consider retaking my human designation. I would like to have a uniform. I have realized that I want to look like everyone else, and I believe it may make it easier to socialize. Could I wear science blue?”

“I suppose they don’t. Can you do without your biosuit? I thought you had to wear it to regulate your implants.” She crossed to the replicated and ordered a blue shouldered tunic and the sweater and tank top version of the uniform shirt anyway.

“I can wear a modified version under the uniform instead of undergarments if I cannot, but I believe I can.”

“You can try it on after breakfast. We’ll stroll down to sickbay to check with the Doctor and show off how fantastic you look,” Kathryn said.

“I will show it off tomorrow. If I put mine on, you will put yours on. But checking with the Doctor is a good idea. Shall we eat now?”

“Good idea. You know, you didn’t need to replicate tableware. I do own a set,” Kathryn said.

“I did not; I borrowed it from the mess hall… Oh, no, I did not ask Neelix for permission first,” Seven said, looking distressed. “I am sorry, and I will apologize to him, too. I know I must ask permission before appropriating things that do not belong to me; how could I forget that?”

“Well, the dishes are there for the crew’s use; I think we can skip the flogging this time, but apologizing to Neelix would be a good idea, just to smooth over any possible ruffled feathers. And you need to be examined; that’s the second thing you’ve forgotten today.”

“I will comply, although I do often subconsciously ignore minor things when I am focused on performing a task, but I have made not borrowing things without permission a priority after Cmdr Tuvok explained the concept to me.”

“Everyone does it occasionally, especially among friends, thinking that the other person won’t mind. Neelix himself permanently borrowed my private dining room for his kitchen without asking me because he honestly thought I wouldn’t mind since cooking from scratch would save on power for the replicators. I think he’ll forgive you,” Kathryn reassured her. Seven was doing a far better job of punishing herself than any lecture she could have given her.

Seven looked a little less upset and she nodded before removing the stasis domes off the food on the table. There was a large bowl of fluffy scrambled eggs, a plate of sausage, another of bacon, and another of ham, and a tall stack of buttered toast. “My research indicated that this is a widely popular traditional breakfast for the area of Earth you are from,” Seven said with a hint of uncertainty.

“Seven, it’s uncanny how you manage to always pick my favorites. Just when I think you couldn’t get more perfect for me and I couldn’t love you more, you do something else incredible,” Kathryn said happily. She’d have to increase her workouts if Seven kept feeding her like this, but she didn’t care. It felt good to have someone care enough about her to research something minor like breakfast just to make sure it was perfect. “I’d be happy with just a cup of coffee, but this is fantastic.”

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You often do not eat lunch either. It is unhealthy. I cannot make you change your habits, but I can make sure you consume adequate nutrition when we are together at traditional mealtimes,” Seven said in a tone that brooked no dissent.

“You’re not supposed to nag me about my bad habits until after we’re married,” Kathryn teased.

“You would marry me?” Seven asked, clearly surprised.

“I assumed that was what we were working toward,” Kathryn said cautiously.

“I want to, when we have progressed sufficiently; I merely did not think you would want to,” Seven said hastily.

“I do. I admit I haven’t before, but I want to be with you,” Kathryn said sincerely.

“Are we ‘engaged’ now?” Seven asked eagerly.

Kathryn considered. “I feel about engagement what you feel about dating. I haven’t had much luck with it. I remember an old tradition where couples exchanged ‘promises’ which was like becoming engaged to become engaged. Would that be sufficient?”

“Yes. We can be ‘promised’ to one another until we are ready to perform the marriage ritual,” Seven agreed. “That means we do not have to ‘date’ and can merely spend time together in furtherance of that goal,” she added, pleased.

Kathryn smiled and made a mental note to pick up a promise ring at the earliest opportunity.

Seven leaned slightly against Kathryn as they waited for the results of Seven’s scans. She had an uncomfortable feeling something was wrong. He was taking too long to say anything. Kathryn put her arm around her in silent reassurance.

“Your cortical node is slightly misaligned, likely due to your time in Unimatrix Zero when it was being destroyed. I think we caught it early enough I can repair the damage, but I’m not sure. I need to run some simulations. I want you to regenerate for ten hours a night in hopes that the extra cycles may allow your nanoprobes to fix the damage themselves meanwhile,” he said ordered. “Give it a week and if it doesn’t work, you can try sleeping and eating again. It may have kept the damage from being worse, I can’t tell.”

“Understood,” Seven said, trying to hide her fear. Cortical nodes were virtually impossible to fix. Replacement was the best option, but it was not an option in her case. The nodes removed from the others had been deactivated too long. She likely could not live without one.

“What happens if you can’t fix it? Can you replace it with one of ours? Can Seven live without one?”

“I’ll run simulations on that as well; I don’t know. They may have been deactivated too long. If her node can’t be repaired or replaced, she’ll die. Her human systems are too dependant on her implants, and her implants can’t be controlled without a node,” the Doctor confirmed Seven’s suspicions heavily.

“Janeway to Chakotay. Try to find General Korvok’s sphere. We need some Borg help,” Kathryn ordered immediately.

Seven relaxed slightly. She had not considered them. Perhaps they had a Borg medical technician or someone willing to ‘donate for the cause’ as she’d heard Lt Paris say once.

Chapter Four

Seven was dying and no one could do a thing about it. Seven was being stoic and calmly settling her affairs; she had even written a will, although she had pitifully few possessions to dispose of. She had asked B’Elanna to watch over Kathryn for her. B’Elanna had barely kept herself from crying as she swore on her honor that she would. Seven was working tirelessly to chart as much of the route home as she could before the end. B’Elanna thought she was the bravest, most dignified person she knew next to Janeway. She hoped she could face her death with even half as much honor. She wasn’t giving up; merely facing reality. There was still hope; it had only been two weeks, and the Doctor estimated she could live another month, maybe six weeks before her body completely rejected the node. On top of it all, they had found the twins’ family and they had agreed to take Mezoti as well, so all three children were gone, never knowing that Seven was even sick.

“B’Elanna, I have prepared a pad with all the Borg algorithms I have used and several other useful ones, specs on Borg technology that may prove useful, several suggested improvements, and everything I know about slipstream and transwarp,” Seven said from behind her.

“Thanks. I’m still hopeful I won’t need it, but it’ll be nice to have if a miracle doesn’t occur,” she replied as calmly as she could. Seven needed her to be stoic and accepting. The captain was angry that Seven was giving up.

Seven handed her a second pad. “I would like your opinion on this. I have been attempting to write a love poem, but I am ‘stuck’,” she admitted shyly.

B’Elanna keyed the entry, bracing herself to be tactful. She didn’t have high hopes for Borg love poetry. It was short, just four lines:

You are the captain of my heart,
The Omega of my soul.
I did not live until I looked into your eyes
And saw my purpose for existing looking back at me.

“It’s not bad at all. I’d love to get something like this,” she said sincerely. “The captain will love it, just as it is.”

“I hope so. I have been so busy being practical for her, that I have forgotten that she requires romance and tokens of my love just as much. I do not want to die without making sure every day I have left that she knows how important to me she is and has always been. She is the sole reason ‘I’ am at all. I want her to remember that. I want to get married. I want to spend whatever time I have left as her wife, but I have been reluctant to tell her that. Do you think it would make it harder on her when I am dead?” For just an instant, the strain of the last two weeks was plainly visible before she slammed down her mask again.

If Tom was dying, what would she want? “I think if I was her, I’d rather have a few weeks or even days of happiness to remember for the rest of my life, rather than a lifetime of regret about how it might have been,” she said slowly, swallowing hard.

Suddenly, Seven was hugging her a little awkwardly. “Go ahead and cry, B’Elanna, I will not think less of you. I admire you nearly as much as I do Kathryn. Finally becoming your friend has made me nearly as happy as finally becoming Kathryn’s promised. I am sorry I never told you that before. I find discussing or showing emotions difficult and avoid it far too often,” Seven said softly. “Sometimes I wonder if I have Vulcan blood somewhere in my family tree.”

B’Elanna laughed a little, but allowed herself to be held, burying her face into a strong uniform clad shoulder as she allowed herself to cry at the unfairness of the universe. Seven was finally finding happiness and acceptance, and it was likely that soon it would all be gone. “I’m sorry I never really gave you a chance. I never tried to look below the surface. You’ve become such an extraordinary individual in the face of so many difficulties. I admire *you* more than Janeway in many ways and you know how remarkable I think she is.”

“She is your Omega as she is mine. That is why I asked you to look after her for me. When she has mourned me enough and is ready to live again, I wish you to help her learn how. I know you will treat her heart as gently as I do.”

“I hope I never have to keep that promise. I’ll let you go with all the dignity and honor you deserve, but I still hope we’ll pull off another miracle.”

“So do I, but it is best to be prepared for the worst and hope it proves unnecessary.”

“Captain, I’m detecting a Borg sphere and it’s hailing,” Harry said excitedly.

“On screen,” she ordered through the lump in her throat. Could this be their salvation?

General Korvok appeared looking concerned. “We received your subspace message. Are we in time?”

“Yes, thank god. Can you help?” Kathryn said, allowing her command mask to crack a bit.

“We don’t have any spare cortical nodes, but our medic thinks that we have several drones who are newly assimilated enough that your doctor may be able to remove their implants so that they can safely live without theirs. Nearly every drone, including me, have volunteered themselves so that she may live. We owe our lives to her and Voyager,” he said simply.

“We can’t take a life to save hers, but the Doctor would be happy to remove implants from anyone he can safely, whether they can help Annika, or Seven as she prefers, or not,” Kathryn said.

“It’s not taking if it’s offered, Captain, though I agree, it is better if both parties live,” he said. “But Annika -- sorry, Seven -- is a symbol of who we can all be now that we’re free from the Queen. To let her die would be to kill hope aand ourselves anyway. It would be an unforgivable stain on my honor to not do everything in my power to save her, including sacrificing my own life.”

“Well, we don’t want that. Can I transport the Doctor onto your ship to scan your crew, or would you prefer to beam over a few volunteers at a time?”

“I apologize for arriving unannounced, but I wish to apologize for my inexcusably illogical behavior for the last two weeks,” Seven said calmly when Tuvok bid her to enter his quarters.

“I do not require an apology. You are human; you cannot be inexcusably illogical. But thank you for acknowledging it.”

“I wish to explain. I have looked to you almost as… a father. You have provided me with an example of how to deal with the illogic and chaos of humanity. You are aware of my background and how I came to be assimilated, so I am sure you have deduced what my difficulty has been. It was most illogical of me. You did not betray anyone; you resisted more than anyone ever has. There is no parallel,” Seven said as calmly as she could, although she was incredibly nervous and ashamed of herself.

“We are ‘all right’, Seven. I have understood and I knew you would reach the logical conclusion eventually. I think of you almost as a daughter. Spending time with you over the last few years has been… gratifying. You will be remembered and honored for as long as my family line exists.”

“I am glad we are ‘all right’. I will depart before I discomfort both of us with a display of emotion,” she said.

“I have been enduring Kathryn’s emotions for twenty years; I can endure yours for a few minutes. I am… gratified the two of you have finally came to an understanding.”

“We have you to thank for that. I am glad that I have lived long enough to experience her love, no matter how briefly. The illogical behavior of humans finally makes a little sense. I will take my leave; Kathryn wishes to speak with me about something and I do not want to be late.”

“Seven, we may have found a replacement node,” Kathryn said happily. She reached out for Seven a little tentatively. Seven had been busy preparing for her death and it was almost like they had never attempted to get closer. She wasn’t sure her affection would be welcomed. Seven looked regretful and wrapped her arms around her tightly.

“Tell me about it in a moment. First I need to apologize. I have been too busy being your efficient officer; a practical partner that I have forgotten that you still require this. I have been so busy trying to make my end as painless for you as possible in practical ways that I had not considered that you require reminders of my love in emotional ways as well,” Seven said regretfully, ducking her head to give her a gentle, loving kiss.

Kathryn responded eagerly. It was only their fourth kiss and she tried not to be too demanding, but it been nearly ten days since Seven had withdrawn from her and she needed to reconnect. Seven had the softest, fullest, warmest lips she had ever had the pleasure of kissing. Seven was so strong, but so gentle. And so responsive, feeling Seven responding to her more intense kiss awkwardly, but oh so willingly. She slipped her hands into Seven’s hair, removing the pins that held it up and dropping them haphazardly onto the table before running her fingers through the thick fall lovingly. She adored Seven’s hair. Hell, there wasn’t anything about Seven’s body she didn’t like, not even the abdominal implant that jabbed into her stomach. Metal tipped fingers tentatively touched her cheek and cautiously explored the contours of her face. It added a very pleasantly intimate dimension to the kisses they were sharing, and she was quick to bring her other hand to Seven’s cheek to stroke the starburst implant. She was very careful to avoid the area where her subdermal facial structure was uncovered, though she was curious. She thought it might hurt. Seven gasped into her mouth and awkwardly deepened their kiss still further. Kathryn made a mental note of the implant’s sensitivity as she taught Seven without words how to tilt her head and move her lips how to kiss properly. She had a lot of natural skill and would undoubtedly have picked it up on her own in time, but it was fun and Seven wasn’t objecting in the least. Kathryn stopped only when her knees felt too weak to hold her up any longer and she was incredibly aroused. Seven’s eyes opened slowly and were dark with desire. She looked confused. “I need to sit down,” Kathryn explained.

Seven stepped back and took her hand and led her to the couch. Kathryn snuggled up against her, resting her head on Seven’s shoulder and smiling contently when the long arm took its familiar place around her shoulders. It felt like home. She hoped the familiarity would relax Seven; she should’ve moved more slowly; Seven had possibly never really been aroused before. She probably had no idea how to handle it, and Kathryn wasn’t sure what to tell her. Normally, she’d suggest a cold shower since she was pretty sure Seven was normally waterproof, but she had no idea about now, and she was afraid to risk hurting Seven’s feelings by asking.

“I have never felt like this before,” Seven said finally, sounding a little confused and uncertain.

“You’re aroused, honey, I’m sorry. I went a little further than I meant to,” Kathryn explained gently.

“I know. I recognize the hormonal and chemical changes. I am merely uncertain what I am supposed to do now since I assume you are not ready to… ‘go further’.”

“It’d be a bad idea, as much as my body disagrees,” Kathryn acknowledged. “Sometimes a cold shower helps, or thinking about something boring, or distasteful, or sad, or physical exercise.”

“Perhaps now would be a good time to tell me about the possible replacement node,” Seven said.

“Well, it worked for me,” Kathryn quipped wryly. “General Korvok answered our subspace message. His sphere has no spare nodes, but they have several crewmembers that may be able to have all their implants removed so that they don’t need theirs. The Doctor is working on that now.”

“A sphere has no suitable place that could be converted into quarters, or food storage, or a food replicator. The volunteer would be very uncomfortable at best,” Seven said in concern.

“We’d help them get set up, or take him or her with us, or to their homeworld,” Kathryn said reassuringly. “We’ve already given them a copy of our medical database to help their medic deal with damage to biological systems, and help them learn how to remove their own implants if they ever need or want to. The medic is observing the Doctor as well.”

“They are all volunteers who are aware of the risks?” Seven questioned.

“Yes. Nearly the entire eleven thousand of them have volunteered their cortical node, even if they had to die to give it, but I won’t let anyone kill themselves for you,” Kathryn said, mentally crossing her fingers. If it came to that, and it was a willing sacrifice, she wouldn’t stop it. “Three quarters of the crew have volunteered to be assimilated if that doesn’t work,” she added, proud of her people. “I didn’t tell them about your medical condition; I don’t know how they found out.”

Seven looked overwhelmed and speechless. “I cannot allow anyone to do that,” she said finally. “I’d rather die than cause anyone to go through that kind of pain.”

“Seven, having you die and being able to prevent it would hurt a hell of a lot more and a hell of a lot longer,” she said flatly. “You’ve saved the life of every last one of us on both ships. Let us save your life now.” She was starting to lose her temper, and she counted to ten. “There is such a thing as being too independent, my love,” she said, sighing.

“I wonder where I picked that up?” Seven asked in amusement.

Kathryn laughed, willing to admit to herself that she was far too stubborn for her own good sometimes. Okay, most of the time. “You weren’t supposed to pick up our bad habits. Please, Seven, just let us help you. Who’s going to help me learn not to be so stubborn and self-destructive if you die?” She knew it was a low blow, but she’d rather have an annoyed and breathing Seven than a dead happy one.

“I am uncertain I will live that long even with a functioning cortical node. The Doctor predicted that I would only live two hundred years,” Seven teased. “I do not want to die, Kathryn. I want to grow old and die with you, many, many years from now. But you have taught me that there are some lines that must not be crossed. Extending my life at the cost of another’s is one of them,” she said seriously.

Kathryn sighed. “It hasn’t been established that anyone *would* die. The Doctor was able to remove all our implants without much risk at all. It’s quite possible he’ll be able to do the same with someone from the General’s ship. I need you, Seven, personally, professionally, in ways I didn’t even know I could need someone. I haven’t let myself need anyone since my father and Justin died because I failed to save them. I don’t think I can survive it if you don’t let me save you, Seven. I’ll fall into depression so deep, I’m not sure I’ll ever find my way back. I’d like to say I’d try, but I haven’t lied to you yet and I don’t want to start now.” It wasn’t emotional blackmail; it was the honest truth. That just happened to *sound* like emotional blackmail.

Seven shifted and studied her face intently for long moments. Whatever she was looking for, she apparently found because she nodded to herself and got up and crossed the room to the replicator where she input several commands. She returned with a tray of vegetable soup, a cup of coffee, and a nutritional supplement. “If I am to live, we had better consume nutrition and help the Doctor.”

Kathryn stared at her. She would never figure out the woman if she did live to be two hundred, and suddenly her course of action was clear. “Marry me. Now,” she blurted out. Well, that wasn’t quite the romantic proposal she *intended* to offer.

“Can it wait until after we consume nutrition?” Seven asked politely, raising her ocular implant questioningly.

“Was that a ‘yes’?” Kathryn asked uncertainly.

“I have already said I would marry you; the question has only ever been when. After we have consumed nutrition is acceptable,” Seven replied. “Though perhaps tomorrow would be better; undoubtedly the crew would be upset to miss it.”

“You’re right,” Kathryn conceded. “Everyone knows I’ve been engaged twice and have never made it to the altar. Mother and Phoebe will require witnesses.” She tapped her com badge. “Senior officers, Samantha and Naomi Wildman, and Icheb, report to the Captain’s quarters immediately,” she ordered. “We’ll need a planning committee to pull off a wedding in less than a day,” she explained, seeing Seven’s puzzled expression. “Those are the people we’re closest to.”

“Indeed,” Seven said, nodding.

Kathryn sat down and tried to eat her soup through her nerves as they waited for everyone to arrive. She didn’t want Seven to be nagging her to eat in front of everyone.

Seven tried to hide her nervousness. Kathryn had asked her to marry her immediately. She had expected to have to persuade her and agree to wait a few days. She had not expected a ‘planning committee’ either. Kathryn’s quarters -- and hers too, tomorrow, she presumed --were filled with the senior officers, Icheb, and both Wildmans, all looking puzzled about why they had been summoned.

“You’re probably all wondering why I called you all here. Recent events have made me do a lot of thinking. I realized I’ve been letting fear and propriety get in the way of something I’ve wanted since I was standing on a Borg cube over three years ago. A few minutes ago, I asked Seven to marry me and she consented. We want to be married tomorrow. I know it seems awfully sudden, but we’ve been building toward this moment all along, and it seems pointless to wait any longer,” Kathryn announced firmly. “We want you to help us get everything ready.”

“Wouldn’t you rather wait until after Seven’s recovered from surgery?” the Doctor asked, smirking.

“You have found a… donor?” Seven asked in amazement.

“Thanks to Icheb here, yes I have. He found a way to genetically resequence a Brunelli woman to allow her control her few remaining implants with very low risk to her and even lower risk to you,” he announced smugly. “I can begin the surgery first thing in the morning if Mr. Paris gets a good night’s sleep.”

“How low is the risk?” Seven asked, swallowing convulsively, her pulse racing. Could it work? Would Kathryn still marry her if she would live?

“Nine point two percent she won’t survive; six point three percent you won’t. I’ve performed thirty successful simulations,” he answered.

“That’s fantastic!” Kathryn exclaimed. “How long would Seven have to recover?”

“Eight days… one day in sickbay directly afterwards, six days regenerating, then one more day of bed rest just to be safe. You could be married in ten days if you took it easy on the honeymoon,” he said.

“I can wait ten days if it means you’ll be in top form,” Kathryn said.

“You will still marry me?” Seven asked, needing reassurance.

“I won’t change my mind. I’ll marry you right now if that’s what you need. Most of our friends are here; I’ll transfer command to Chakotay and he can perform the ceremony. We can hold a second proper ceremony for the crew in ten days,” Kathryn promised.

“I would feel easier going into surgery if I was already your wife. It is the only thing I do not want to die without experiencing,” Seven admitted. “I know six point three percent is a very low risk, and the Doctor will not fail, but….”

“Then we’ll do it now. We’ll have to renew our vows when we reach the Alpha Quadrant, anyway, we might as well start practicing now,” Kathryn said, leaning over and kissing her cheek reassuringly.

“I could use the practice myself; I’ve never performed a marriage ceremony before,” Chakotay said. “I know I’ll think of a dozen things I should have said in the middle of the night, and this way, I’ll have a chance to actually use the material.”

Seven appreciated his attempt at levity. She knew he still loved Kathryn and he must be hurt, but there was no sign of it in his expression. She didn’t think she’d ever like him, but she disliked him a little less now.

“Does anyone object?” Kathryn asked.

Everyone shook their heads. “Why don’t you both change into something a little more formal? Give Chakotay a few minutes to think of something profound, and I’ll run down to Engineering and replicate a couple of rings?” B’Elanna suggested.

“I cannot wear a ring,” Seven said sadly, raising her left hand. “It would interfere with my implant.”

“You could wear it on your right hand instead,” the Doctor said to her surprise. She would have expected him to wish she wouldn’t wear a symbol that she would never be his.

“That would be acceptable?” she asked Kathryn.

“Perfectly. I don’t care if you wear it through your nose as long as you marry me,” Kathryn said.

“I will wear it on my right hand then,” Seven decided. She’d never worn jewelry before and she was excited to start with Kathryn’s wedding band.

“I’ll go with you, Lt Torres, I need to grab my holoimager to preserve the event for posterity,” the Doctor said.

They departed.

“Do you want to wear a dress uniform? A dress? A tux?” Kathryn asked her.

“A dress uniform. With the rank insignia you said I could wear,” Seven answered immediately. If she was going to be Kathryn’s wife, she should have a rank. She could always resign it later if she did not like it after all. As Kathryn’s wife, she would be able to go with Kathryn if she got another ship when they returned home regardless. It would please Kathryn if she took this step.

“You’ve decided on a name?” Kathryn asked in delight.

“Lt Annika Janeway has a certain ring to it, do you not think?” Seven asked nervously. She was not sure Kathryn would be agreeable to sharing her designation.

Kathryn beamed. “It does indeed. I didn’t think you’d want to take my name, so I didn’t dare to even suggest it,” she said huskily.

“You are the one who gave me back my individuality; who gave me back my name. It seems fitting to take your name as I enter a new collective,” Seven explained. “I still prefer Seven, but I do not see why I cannot continue to use my ‘nickname’ amongst the crew.”

“No reason at all,” Kathryn agreed. “I’ll replicate you a dress tunic and insignia and leave them on the bed while you take a sonic shower and recycle your uniform. Might as well go all the way if we’re going to dress for the event.”

“Acceptable,” Seven agreed, excusing herself to the en suite. She could use the extra few minutes to regain her composure.

Kathryn tried not to fidget as she stared at Seven and didn’t hear a word Chakotay said. She was really getting married. To Seven. Phoebe was going to have a field day when she found out that Kathryn had traveled halfway across the galaxy and severed a Borg drone before she finally made it to the altar. Well, her coffee table. Close enough. There’d be an altar later. Seven looked fabulous in her dress uniform with her provisional insignia on her breast. Seven had allowed her to pin it there and she’d guiltily enjoyed a little grope while she was at it. Seven hadn’t minded -- had even gasped in pleasure at the slight touch -- and had returned the favor while pinning her pips on for her. She wondered how far Seven would let her go after everyone left. Would Seven want to make love? Should she wait until after their ‘official’ ceremony? Seven had surgery in the morning and required sleep. Maybe she could just touch those amazing breasts a little and kiss her for a while. Seven liked kissing. Would Seven take her shirt off? Surely it was all right to look at her wife half naked?

“Kathryn? Kathryn! You’d better say ‘I do’ before poor Seven has a heart attack,” Chakotay said insistently.

Kathryn shook herself from her happy place and managed to look up past Seven’s breasts to see that the woman did look awfully nervous and frightened. “I do,” she said hastily. She was never going to live this down.

“Before we lose her again, Seven, do you take Kathryn as your lawfully wedded wife and all that?” Chakotay asked teasingly.

“I do,” she said immediately. Obviously, *she* had been paying attention. Kathryn looked at their hands. They were both wearing their rings. Kathryn didn’t remember exchanging them.

“Then by the power invested in me by the United Federation of Planets, I pronounce you wife… and wife. Kathryn, you may kiss your bride. And remember there *are* children present,” he teased.

Oh, god, he knew what she had been thinking about. Had she really been that obvious? Seven took her in her arms and kissed her lovingly, but briefly, obviously trying to be child-friendly. She’d change that later.

“Ladies and gentleman, Kathryn and Annika Janeway,” Chakotay announced, ending the ceremony. “Allow me to be the first to congratulate you, Kathryn, Seven.” He shook his head. “I knew I’d mess up. I should’ve said, ‘Captain and Mrs. Kathryn Janeway.’ ‘Kathryn and Annika’ is too informal for a captain’s wedding.”

“But perfect for a spur of the moment ceremony with our friends. Besides, you’re the captain until the day after tomorrow,” Kathryn reassured him, grinning. Seven’s hand was firmly clasped in her own and Seven was her wife at long last. And she’d live. Kathryn didn’t think anything could wipe the smile off her face.

“It was a beautiful ceremony, Commander. If I did not know better, I would have assumed you had been practicing it for years,” Seven praised sincerely. “You are a very eloquent man.”

Kathryn was pleased Seven had thought to give him a compliment and she wondered what the heck he had said. Chakotay smiled genuinely at Seven. “Thanks, Seven. I’m glad *someone* was listening,” he said with a teasing grin at Kathryn.

“I am able to multitask more efficiently than… my wife,” Seven joined in the teasing.

“Hey! You’re supposed to be on *my* side,” Kathryn grumbled.

“Congratulations, Captain, Mrs. Captain,” Neelix said, beaming. “It’s about time you two tied the knot. I was beginning to think I’d have to try a Talaxian love potion,” he added congenially.

“Does it actually work?” Harry asked curiously. “Congratulations, Captain, Seven.”

“After a fashion,” Neelix grinned. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

Kathryn didn’t want to know. Right now, she was wondering how long she had to be polite before she could kick their guests out. Seven had to go to bed early, and she’d undoubtedly be nervous. Kathryn wouldn’t have much time to make her move. Kathryn kept her eyes off Seven’s chest with an effort.

Seven said goodbye to the last of the guests and stood nervously in the middle of Kathryn’s quarters with little idea what was supposed to happen now. She understood that ‘the wedding night’ was a traditional time to copulate, and Kathryn had been acting like she wanted to, and her hormone levels were elevated, but she was uncertain if Kathryn really would. Or what exactly female-female copulation entailed, or if they’d go straight to Kathryn’s bedroom or engage in some form of pre-copulation ritual first. Now that the time may have come, she was not quite sure she wanted to copulate. Of course, she was not quite sure she did not, either. She had thoroughly enjoyed the kisses they had shared earlier, and the light caresses they had indulged in while putting on their dress tunics, but that was before she was Kathryn’s wife. She had no idea how to be a wife; she hadn’t really known how to be a girlfriend.

“You look as nervous as I feel,” Kathryn said from the door.

“I find I do not know what to do now. I was so focused on the goal of becoming your wife, I did not think to research what I was to do afterwards,” Seven confessed.

“First, why don’t we get more comfortable, then we can talk for a while and see if we can figure it out together?” Kathryn suggested.

“Acceptable.” They spent a few minutes stripping off their tunics and removing their boots, and then settled onto the couch in their familiar cuddling positions. Seven felt slightly less nervous with Kathryn leaning against her.

“Are you sorry we rushed into marrying?” Kathryn asked, tensing against her.

“No,” Seven said immediately. “I want to be married to you. I merely realized I do not know *how* to be married. I know it is different than being single or being a girlfriend, or a friend, but I am not entirely certain how different.”

“I don’t know how either. I don’t think anyone really does; everyone just makes it up as they go,” Kathryn said philosophically. “I think we can pretty much continue doing what we’ve always done, but we have to try harder to consider how our decisions affect the other and make major personal decisions together. It’ll be hard on both of us because we’re both very strong-willed, and added to that is the fact I’m the captain and professionally our relationship can’t really change. I know I’ll probably continue to make decisions for you without thinking to ask you what you want. It’s hard to turn off the captain part of me because I’m never truly off duty. We’ll have to both try hard to keep talking about issues as they come up.”

“I knew that part. Are there special things I need to learn to be a proper Captain’s wife? I do not want to embarrass you,” Seven asked.

“Ah, you meant more etiquette. Not in the normal day to day here on Voyager. Diplomacy and good social skills help at official functions in the Alpha Quadrant and when we deal with aliens, but you’re already getting better at that. I love you how you are, but if you’re really worried about it, why don’t you write Mother for advice? She was married to Daddy for over twenty years successfully and most of that time he was a captain or admiral. But don’t change too much. The brass could use a little shaking up.”

“I will do so. She will undoubtedly be curious about me when she learns of our marriage and wonder what I did to actually get you to ‘go through with it’. Does she know anything about me?” she asked, wondering if Kathryn had ever mentioned her in her letters home.

“She knows all about you. I’m surprised she hasn’t already written you. Just try to underplay any dangerous situations we’ve been in if you must mention them at all. She worries about me too much as it is. Don’t tell her anything that you wouldn’t tell Naomi.”

Seven nodded, pleased with the specific advice and that Kathryn found her worth mentioning in the limited space they were allowed.

“Anything else you want to talk about, or can I interest you in another kissing lesson?”

“I am insufficient?” Seven asked in dismay. She thought she was performing adequately and Kathryn enjoyed their kissing.

“No, not at all. You’re very good. I only meant I wanted to try something we haven’t done together yet,” Kathryn explained hastily.

“Oh. That would be acceptable,” Seven said in relief. “I wish to bring up one more thing, then you may teach me. Normally married people live together. Will we?” Seven asked nervously.

“I assumed we would. I’ve been meaning to clean out my closet to clear up space for your things. I’ll do that when you’re regenerating,” Kathryn said.

“I do not have very many possessions -- the blouse you gave me, my biosuit, my uniform, a brush, a dozen hairpins, and five pads. I do not require very much space at all.”

“You’ve been living with us for three and a half years and that’s all you own?” Kathryn asked, sounding shocked and… was that sorrow?

“I do not require very much, and there really is not any where to put anything in the cargo bay without it being in the way of the crew,” Seven explained.

“Seven, some days I really wonder how you’ve managed to turn out so well and manage to love me,” Kathryn sighed. “We can redecorate to reflect your tastes as well. We can rearrange the furniture, get rid of some of it, replace it with things you like better, whatever you want within reason.”

“Presently, I like it as it is. If I find anything I want to add or subtract, I will let you know,” Seven said, rather confused. “Why does my lack of possessions bother you? Do you think you have failed to provide for me sufficiently?” It was the only thing she could think of, and it was hardly true. She received just as many replicator rations as anyone, even considering she did not have to eat nearly as much. She had a warm place to regenerate, and no matter how low on energy the ship was, Kathryn always made sure she had all she needed to regenerate as much as she required.

“Haven’t I? You live in a *cargo bay*. You have no privacy, no place to put anything. I’ve never even gotten you a cake for your birthday, let alone a present. You should have things,” Kathryn said disgustedly.

“Kathryn, if it bothered me that badly, I would have told you. I have always had everything I required, and most of what I merely wanted. I do not require very much and want very little in the way of objects. I want things like friendship and love and acceptance which you have always provided. I will attempt to cultivate a desire for objects if it will make you feel better. I do like wearing different clothing…”

“Maybe if we’d treated you like a person consistently you’d have already done so. Maybe you will naturally now that you have quarters. Just don’t go too far the other way,” Kathryn sighed.

“It is hard because I am unique. As you have told me repeatedly, let go of the past and embrace the future. Mistakes were made, but humans are not perfect. We are together now and I have quarters now. It will only take 4.8 minutes for me to move in. Those are positive things.”

“You really are the most extraordinary woman, my love,” Kathryn said softly.

“Will you show me this new form of kissing now?” Seven was tired of talking. Actually, she was just tired, but she wanted to be intimate before her surgery. She wanted to show Kathryn her more invasive implants and give her a chance to change her mind if she survived. She believed that Kathryn didn’t mind her visible implants and even found them attractive, but that might not extend to the ones covered by her clothes.

“I’d like to lay down to do it. Is that okay? If I do anything you don’t like, all you have to do is say ‘stop’ and I will immediately, okay?” Kathryn looked nervous and serious. It was an attractive combination.

“Acceptable,” she agreed. She had no intention of saying ‘stop’. She would allow Kathryn to touch her however she wanted. She had enjoyed everything so far. “I… I would not object if you wished for us to remove our clothing,” she added awkwardly. She wished she knew the proper romantic phrasing.

Kathryn’s expression went from shock, to arousal, to nervousness, back to arousal before she regained her composure and her command mask. “Are you saying you want to make love?”

“I am not sure, but I do want to show you the rest of my implants and I wish you to… explore… my body above my waist at least,” Seven said shyly.

“You’re going to be worried until I demonstrate my acceptance of them,” she said understandingly, nodding. “That’s one human trait I wish you didn’t have to experience. Most people, especially women, are very concerned that their lover won’t find their bodies attractive. Including me,” she admitted. “I’m ten or fifteen years older than you and gravity is starting to affect my breasts and my stomach isn’t as flat as it was fifteen years ago. I’m starting to gray, too.”

“This is normal?” Seven asked, shocked. Kathryn was just as worried about her approval of her body as she was about Kathryn’s?

“Perfectly. Seven, I thought you were pretty as a full drone. The statistical possibility of me finding your body unattractive is so low as to be impossible. We’re more likely to wake up in the morning in my old bedroom at Mother’s, it’s so low,” Kathryn said sincerely.

Seven relaxed slightly. “I would still like you to touch me,” she said shyly.

“I still want to. Let’s retire to our bedroom and see how we feel in a little while, okay?” Kathryn asked.

“Acceptable. I like how that sounds -- ‘our’ bedroom.”

“So do I -- though I like the sound of our bed better,” Kathryn said huskily.

Seven was quick to concede that *did* sound much better.

Kathryn was sure she had to be dreaming. She was laying on top of Seven -- her *wife* -- in her underwear in her -- now their -- bed kissing the daylights out of her in the starlight. And she probably wouldn’t have to stop. Seven had given her permission to do anything she wanted. She was paying careful attention to Seven’s responses and she paused every few minutes to check in and make sure Seven still wanted to continue, just in case. The last thing she ever wanted to do was abuse the trust in those big blue eyes. Seven was still shy and hesitant, but there was no sign that she did not want to continue. She just needed a little guidance and confidence like any virgin. At least, Kathryn remembered that was what she needed all those years ago during her own first romantic involvement. She’d never been with a virgin before -- or even a woman -- and hoped she wasn’t making any major mistakes. She wasn’t really used to being the aggressor either. Seven was a quick study; she was sure within a month, that would all change. Kathryn carefully trailed her kisses along Seven’s strong jaw and cautiously gave the starburst beside her ear a lick. Seven moaned. Kathryn stopped. “Did I hurt you?” She didn’t *think* so, but Seven had never made any noise before and she didn’t want to misinterpret anything while she was learning Seven’s responses.

“No! It was… very pleasant,” Seven said hastily.

“So, I’m still making you feel good and you don’t want to stop?” she asked huskily with a hint of seduction.

“I do not want to stop. Please continue.”

Kathryn grinned and lowered her head to continue her new quest to illicit more of those delightful moans.

Seven now understood why love and intimacy made humans act so illogically. Kathryn hadn’t even touched her breasts yet, and already she was ready to do anything to experience all these new sensations again. There were too many to truly process, but they were all very pleasant. Kathryn was clearly a superior kisser. Seven bit her lip to keep herself from making another of the involuntary sounds that made Kathryn stop to ask if she was causing discomfort. Kathryn was tracing her ocular implant with her tongue and Seven desperately did *not* want her to stop. Ever. Her body was sending unfamiliar signals that it required… more, though Seven was uncertain what exactly that might be. She knew she wanted them to both disrobe. She was feeling an ache between her legs and her hips wanted to arch into Kathryn’s thigh. Her private area was feeling even hotter and wetter than it had during their earlier kissing session when Kathryn had explained she was aroused.

“Seven, may I put my hand on your breast?” Kathryn asked suddenly.

“Please,” Seven blurted out. “Kathryn… Is it normal to ache between your legs?” She was very embarrassed that she didn’t know. None of the information she had discovered that mentioned any emotions or sensations, just dry, clinical detail. None of it had prepared her for reality, and she was a little worried she was malfunctioning.

“Do your hips want to move against me?” Kathryn asked tende