by Beth Goodman

Disclaimers: None whatsoever. Oh, maybe a spew alert.

Feedback is always welcome: bethgoodman@e-scribblers.com .

Copyright © 2004 by Beth Goodman. All Rights Reserved.

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Mother's Day, 2004

True love. What exactly does that mean?

Is it only found in fairy tale romances?

Not in my book, it's not.

True love is the love that makes you do more than you ever thought you could or would. It's the stuff that fills you from head to toe with a warm feeling of blessedness. It is the stuff of grand sweeping gestures that proclaim undying passion, but is also the small gestures and everyday events that stay with you for the rest of your life.

Granny was a true love of mine. From the time I was very small, Granny was the one person I could always count on to love me no matter what -- and there is no greater gift than that.

Many people thought Granny was spoiling me rotten, but let me tell you a little secret, you can't spoil a child with love. Real love will be tough when it has to, it will show you your faults and help you grow and change. No, Granny didn't spoil me, she did everything she could to help me feel safe and secure, she never hesitated to offer guidance or discipline me when necessary, and much of what was seen as "spoiling" were simply acts of love.

While my Granny was around, I never woke a day in my life to the alarm clock. She was almost always awake early anyway, and she would come in my room and turn off the alarm clock so she could wake me herself, usually with a kiss. Now, before we get knee deep in the mush here, let me also say that her other favorite way to wake me up was to let my dog out on a nice snowy morning and then put her in bed with me when she came back in. There is nothing like an ice cold dog nose to get you out of the bed in a hurry!

I also never had to face down a plate of food I didn't like to eat. Granny liked food I wouldn't eat, but she hated cooking one thing for herself and another for me, that wasn't spoiling, that was just a realistic view of a cost/benefit ratio.

Granny also taught me about true love in two very important ways. She let me know that she wouldn't ever leave me on purpose, but that she was an "old lady" and that she might die. Now my mom, to this day, thinks Granny told me that to make me cling to her -- but she didn't. She told me that because it was the truth, and because she knew how frightened I was of being abandoned and Granny wanted me to know she would never leave me willingly.

The second love lesson is related to the first: she never, ever, lied to me or made promises she couldn't keep. Now this may seem like a common courtesy to many people, but you have to understand that every time my mom made a promise and then broke it, which was quite often, she also broke my heart. Granny knew how hard that was for me, and she also knew that it was damaging my ability to trust anyone at all. So Granny became always trustworthy. It made me nuts when I was a kid -- I'd ask her if we could do something, and the answer was always "we'll see." I used to get mad, and ask her why she wouldn't just say yes or no, and she always told me -- until I finally understood -- that she couldn't say beyond a shadow of a doubt that something would or would not happen, so she didn't, even though she had to listen to me whine about it every single time.

Now that's true love.

Take me to Life With Granny 20...

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