by Beth Goodman

Disclaimers: None whatsoever. Oh, maybe a spew alert.

Feedback is always welcome: bethgoodman@e-scribblers.com.

Copyright © 2004 by Beth Goodman. All Rights Reserved.

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When I first started writing these little pieces, I thought I might organize them into two series: Life With Granny and On My Own, or something like that. But, the more I write the more obvious it becomes that Granny continues to be a very active presence in my life.

When Granny died, I remember thinking to myself, well, at least we can never be separated again; where I go, Granny will go. It was a strange yet deeply comforting idea. Granny was no longer limited to a physical body that had slowed down and worn out, and I would never have to worry about her well-being again. I was heartbroken and devastated, of course. I felt almost like a compass at one of the Earth's poles -- spinning out of control and unable to establish any sense of direction. But at the same time, I remember feeling an odd sort of freedom, knowing that the one thing that I dreaded most in my life had come to pass, and I didn't have to be afraid of it any more.

Almost immediately after Granny shuffled off her mortal coil (as my friend Will would say) I started writing to her every night in a journal. I wrote to her for six years, and have a shelf full of journals to prove it, but as time passed, my fear of losing my relationship with her eased, and I reached a point where I no longer needed to write to keep her close, and realized that no matter what, she would never be far away.

I know I heard her laughing at me when I spent an hour sewing up a rip in a 30-year-old sheet because I loved how soft it was (she always made me throw them out after I put a foot through them, and I can't sew to save my soul.) I feel her helping me to treat difficult people with gentleness and compassion, especially my mother. I hear her saying the Lord's Prayer with me every night at bedtime. I catch her snickering and egging me on when I'm acting silly.

You see, the truth of the matter is, that my life will always be Life With Granny, so buckle your seatbelts, that means I now have 37 years worth of material to work with, and just let me say, it has been an adventure.

Take me to Life With Granny 14...

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