by Alex Tryst

Feedback: Drop me a line if you’d like at alextryst@e-scribblers.com.

Now on with the show...

Copyright © 2005 by Alex Tryst. All Rights Reserved.

With a smile of your own, you whispered, "Kiss me, Cam."

I obliged, pulling your head down toward mine. Our lips met in a gentle kiss at first but slowly became deeper. When it ended, I panted for breath as I confessed, "You still make me lightheaded when you do that."

"Good. I never want that to end."

"I don't think it ever will, Jana. From the first time we ever kissed, I knew I would forever love you. Although until that night you kissed me, I had no idea you were even a lesbian. I thought I was the only one with feelings in our relationship, and it took me by utter surprise."

Ruffling my hair, you replied, "I think I proved you wrong that night."

"You certainly did, and I had never been happier to be wrong about something."

It was New Year's Eve, and you and I had been seeing each other several times a month since October. With your schedule you were out of New York quite a bit but were never far from my thoughts. Over the course of time, we had started talking on the phone and e-mailing daily, especially when you were out of town. I knew I was falling in love with you, which filled my heart with song, and yet I got no indication that my interest was returned. You acted as you always had with me, touching me all the time but giving no evidence of intimate interest. That made it bittersweet, because although not a stranger to unrequited love, I had wanted something deeper between us, even as much as I thought it wasn't possible.

That night I was sitting in my library listening to the melodious CD you have given me for Christmas, drinking a glass of your favorite wine, and reading a book on American Indian artistry. In the background the TV was on mute, showing the traditional countdown special. Less than ten minutes to go. I knew you were out at a party, one I wish I had been invited to, because I couldn't bear the thought of who might be near you as the clock brought in the new year, but you had not asked me to go.

I had attended a high-society gathering with you a few weeks prior but found it not to my liking. I felt too overwhelmed by the notoriety of my fellow party-goers and spent most of the evening near the bar, trying to stay out of the way as you worked the room. I found myself feeling jealous as you greeted everyone with a hug and kiss, because you never kissed me whenever we saw each other. Your touches were always lingering, but I had never felt your lips against my skin, and it had been an obsession of mine, the wanting of that carnal knowledge. I knew though that I would never attempt to gain that wisdom for fear that you might be undesiring of that kind of attention from me.

Going home that night had been awkward between us. You accused me of sulking, making it difficult for you to enjoy yourself. I knew you were right, but I lashed out instead, griping about the shallowness of everyone in attendance, you included. As soon as I had said it, I realized how hurtful it had been as tears formed in your eyes. I had immediately tried to apologize but to no avail. You simply staved me off when I attempted to hold you and gave a curt goodnight in front of my building. The following week my Christmas presents from you had come by courier, making me realize how upset you still were at me. The only time we had spoken since was Christmas day, and it was a fairly brief conversation, in which you happened to mention your New Year's Eve party. No invitation for me to join you came though, leaving me to my own solitude on a night meant for lovers.

Suddenly there was a loud pounding on my apartment door. Confused as to who could be knocking, I consulted my watch, a few minutes before midnight. At first I considered ignoring it, but the banging continued, forcing me from the comfort of my chair. Sliding my glasses on top of my head, I leaned to look through the peep hole. The sight that greeted me caused me to immediately pull open the door.

There you were in a black evening dress, a black fur wrap around your shoulders. You had never looked more alluring except for the tears in your eyes. Those were the only things that mattered at the moment. Without a word I opened my arms to you, and you immediately clung to me, burying your face into my neck as I managed to shut the door. You just cried for a few moments. "Cam," you whispered.

"Yes, sweetie?" I answered in equally hushed tone. You had never called me that before nor had I used an endearment with you, but it felt so familial, so right at the moment. Brown eyes met mine. Unable to stop myself, I brought my hand to your cheeks, gently trying to wipe them of the wetness. "Are you all right?"

You shook your head. "I was at a party, and I started thinking about you, about what you said the last time we were at a party together. Do you really think I'm shallow and fake?"

The question caught me by surprise. "No, not at all. Why are you even listening to me? I'm just a bitter old woman, mad at the world when really I should only be upset with myself. Jana, you're one of the most real people I know, but we all act a certain part in our careers. I was just jealous, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Jealous? Why?"

I shrugged and tried to pull away from you, but you refused to let me out of your arms. "I'd rather not talk about it. It's stupid."

"No. I want to know, Cam," you stated.

Giving a sigh I confessed, "Fine. Whenever we're together, you make me feel like I'm the only person in the room. It's a nice feeling. That night though, you were focused on everyone else, and I'm not used to being ignored by you. I was wrong in the way I acted and what I said. I'm an adult, and I could have behaved more appropriately."

You nodded and gave a tentative smile. "I'm sorry, Cam, for making you feel left out." Pausing for a moment, you admitted, "You are the only one that matters to me whether it's a room of a hundred or just us."

There was a moment of silence as I contemplated what that possibly meant. However, then I was taken aback when I suddenly felt warm lips pressed against my own. I moaned as my eyes fluttered closed. My head started spinning, and my knees began to buckle as your tongue probed into my mouth demanding a surrender, which I gladly gave. The moment seemed an eternity, but when you finally pulled away, I had to reach back and grab hold of the entry table to steady myself.

I guess my face must have showed my complete shock and confusion, because you leaned in with concern and asked, "Are you all right? You look like you're about to faint."

"You just kissed me," I muttered, disoriented.

The brightness of your face fell at my exclamation. Your tears immediately started again. "Oh, God. I was wrong," you whispered, starting to back away.

Somehow I quickly found my balance and pulled you back into my arms. "No. You weren't wrong," I said. "I'm sorry. Don't cry, Jana. It pains me to see you in tears. You weren't wrong. In fact, you don't know how right you were."

"Really?" you questioned in uncertainty.

I nodded and gave a reassuring smile. "Really. That's why I was so jealous. You were kissing everyone, but I wanted to you to be kissing me."

"Cam, why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Me? What about you? Up until this moment I didn't even think you were gay, Jana. I didn't want to ruin our friendship."

You laughed and wiped your own eyes. The mascara was still smeared down the side of your face, though. "I felt like I did everything but throw myself at you. All the touching, all the revealing clothes. I've never had to work so hard at getting someone's attention."

"I've never been good at this. I'm usually too slow-witted. Who would ever think such a ridiculous notion of you being interested in me anyway?" Sighing, I kissed the top of your fair head. "Well, now that we both know, I feel better. What about you?"

"Much better."

"Well, why don't we get you out of this dress and into something a little more comfortable for lounging around at home? Go into my bedroom and change. I'll pour you a drink, and then we can talk."

You nodded your head in agreement. Pulling away from me, you started for where my bedroom was. However, you looked over your shoulder as if you suddenly remembered something. "Cam."

"Yes?"

"Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year, Jana."

That night even though we both promised each other talking, there wasn't much of it. Instead there was more intimate exploring of each other. I didn't want to move too quickly, and I felt as if you were of the same mind, so even though we didn't make love that night, you still found a place in my bed and fell into blissful sleep in my arms. Looking down on you that night, I knew I was forever lost to you and wondered what the future might hold.

"When did you first know we were meant for each other?" I inquired as you rested on top of my body. Your fair head snuggled against my right breast, and you drew lazy lines across my skin with your fingertips.

"The first time we made love," you answered softly.

"That long into our relationship?"

"Well, I knew I loved you long before that. As far as knowing you were the one though with my entire being, it was that night. That's why I made us wait so long. I had to be sure. I had to be sure you would have me. I knew I wanted a long-term relationship with you, but I had to know I could please you, and you could please me."

"You about drove me insane over that year, though. There were so many times I wanted to be with you that way."

"You weren't the only one, Cam. I was driving myself crazy, too. But you knew it was important to me."

"Well, I did after the fact. You could have told me why, though. I would have understood."

"You know I couldn't. I already felt so young and inexperienced in your arms."

"As if I had a lot of experience," I joked. "It was like the virtually blind leading the completely blind."

"Still I felt so innocent with you, so scared that I wouldn't be able to please you. I didn't want to disappoint you."

"You never could, darling," I said, leaning to kiss your forehead.

It was New Year's Eve a year later. Instead of at a party, though, we found ourselves at your place. We had decided to stay in that night and relish our time together. You and I had spent almost every hour you were in town with each other that we could over the past year, but your travels made it difficult. Not a day had gone by without us speaking with each other. Countless hours on the phone and long nights curled up in bed discussing life satisfied my heart only so much. I felt like I hardly ever slept when you were near. My need for rest had been replaced with my need to be with you in every way. However, I could tell you were slow to feel the same. I knew your love for me was true and deep, but you had yet to want to give yourself to me completely. I never pressed you, for I knew my own heart was already lost, but my desires still tortured me.

That night as we sat in front of the fireplace these thoughts played on my mind. You seemed preoccupied as well. Nevertheless, neither of us voiced our thoughts. Instead I focused on my task of creating roasted marshmallows in the fire. As I did so, I gazed over at you, leaning with your back against the coffee table, your long trim legs extended toward me. You held your wine glass at your lips, sipping from it slowly as your eyes kept mine in a strong lock.

Looking back to the fireplace, I watched as the marshmallow caught fire. Quickly I blew it out and pulled it from my stick. The gooey treat instantly started to disintegrate, but I rapidly inhaled it, licking my fingers as I went. "You sure you don't want one?" I asked, as I stuck another into the flames.

"You know I can't eat that. My trainer would kill me."

"But they're so good," I said, toasting the one I had into a golden brown crust. Pulling that one off, I scooted over to you and held it up. "Not even a bite?" You shook your head reluctantly, but I could tell your resistance was waning. "Just one. I won't tell a soul," I pressed. Again you shook your head, so I popped the treat in my own mouth. However, as I began to lick the residue off my fingers, you pulled my hand away from my mouth.

Our eyes met and stayed locked as you started sucking my index finger between your lips. I moaned as I felt your tongue swirl around my digit and your teeth scrape the tacky sweet off my finger. You repeated the process on my other fingers before whispering, "Maybe just one."

I nodded my head and went back to the fire. I toasted another and then brought it back to you, holding it up in offering. You opened your mouth for me to feed you. Placing the sweet on your tongue, I watched as it started to melt. Once you had swallowed, you took my hand again and repeated the process of sucking off the excess. By then I couldn't stand it any longer.

I leaned in and kissed you softly, showing my love, even though at that moment ravaging you was closer to what I had in mind. Your arms came around my shoulders. "I love you, Jana," I murmured as we exchanged loving kisses.

"I love you too, Cam, so much."

Smiling at you reassuringly, my right hand reached for the hem of your sweater and slipped under it. Your skin was so inviting as my touch trailed up your stomach to your breasts. I caressed you reverently through the satin material as our mouths came together once again. It only took a few moments for you to reciprocate, except you pulled off my sweater and then started methodically on the buttons of my pressed white shirt. I allowed you access to do what you wanted, and you took the opportunity to shed everything I was wearing from the waist up. Since we had gone that far before, I had no idea your mind was taking you further, but then you began to remove your own clothes. I watched in fascination as your sweater and bra were removed. I had seen you like this before, but I always responded the same way. As if I was adoring a piece of sculpture, my hands worshiped the planes of your skin in awe.

You clung to me, pressing our bodies together as our mouths found each other's again. Trying to make you more comfortable, I stretched us out against the rug. Your hands felt so good as they glided along the contours of my back. "You are so lovely," I whispered. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known, Jana."

"No, you are, Cam," you responded with a gentle smile.

I flushed lightly, because whenever you said that my legs weakened. To think you would ever compliment my looks when you were such a radiant creature always left me speechless. "Thank you for thinking so," I finally answered.

Your face grew serious as you took my hand. Pressing it to your left breast, you asked, "Do you feel that?" Your heart was beating hard in your chest. I nodded at you. "Every time you're close to me my heart starts to pound, and I feel like I can hardly breathe."

"I feel the same way," I said, taking your hand and putting it against my chest, so you could feel my heart.

Meeting my eyes, you asked, "Cameron, do you love me?"

"Yes, of course, I love you, Jana. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I love you more than everyone else in my life combined. You're the sustenance that gives my life meaning. If it weren't for you, I'd still be stuck in a book somewhere, watching life pass me by instead of living it. I love you more than I could ever possibly express."

"Do you think about the future? Do you see us together?"

I took a deep breath to bolster my courage. I knew in my heart what I wanted our future to hold but had not expressed it in those terms to you. "You have my heart, Jana. It's my most precious commodity. I gave it to you long ago, and I never want it back. For as long as you want me, I am here to love you, to protect you, to hold you for better or worse."

The smile that graced your face assured me that you were pleased with my declaration. Your hand left my chest and reached to my face. You kissed me softly. Our activities resumed in a leisurely manner. However, after another few minutes passed, you pulled away and looked into my eyes again. "Cameron Grant," you whispered.

"That's me," I said with a half smile. You looked unsure of yourself, and I could feel your body tremble slightly in my embrace. "What is it, love?"

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. "Cameron, will you make love to me?"

I was struck silent for a moment as I let your request settle in my heart. It was what I had wanted for such a long time, and you finally reciprocated those feelings. I could tell you were anxious, though, so I did my best to assure you. "I would love to pleasure you, Jana, in whatever way you desire."

There was another pause before you nodded your head as if taking in my words. Reaching up, your fingers traced across my open mouth, the tip of your index just barely passing between my lips. I sucked it gently, drawing it in further. I watched your breathing become labored as my tongue teased your finger. Finally though, you pulled it out of my mouth. "Come to bed with me, Cam," you whispered.

"As you wish," I replied. "Just let me put out this fire, and I'll be right there."

"Take your time. I want to do something special. Give me a few minutes?"

"Sure. I'll clean up our mess in here first." I watched as you left the room. I was nervous and excited at the opportunity I had just been presented. My ultimate fantasy was about to become reality, but I had my doubts about being able to satisfy you. We hadn't spoken of past lovers much, but I knew a woman like you could have anyone you wanted and that you probably had done just that before we met. I had never wanted to come across as naive, so I made it a point not to mention my limited knowledge in the ways of physical love. Knowing from what little experience I did have, feelings would dictate the night more than anything else. Trying to maintain my composure, I got off the floor and began to gather our dishes. I took them into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher before returning to the den to put out the fire. Not knowing how much time you wanted, I paced the room, watching the clock on the mantle until the long hand had moved ten minutes. Figuring that was enough, I swallowed my nerves. This was the moment I had been waiting for, right then. My hands started to sweat and my breathing began to come in erratic heaves, and I struggled to calm myself. My legs felt like stone, making it difficult to move, but I slowly walked back toward the bedroom.

You had left the door cracked just slightly, but I could see the lights were off. Instead there was the glow of fire in your bedroom fireplace. Stopping at the end of the hall, I took a deep breath, for I had no idea what to expect. Slowly I pushed open the door. The sight that greeted me made me gasp. There you were sitting on the tiny bench at the foot of your bed. Your legs were parted revealing a silver thong with sparkles on it. You were leaning with your forearms on your thighs, making a dazzling display as your breasts threatened to tumble out of a bra of the same material. On your feet was a pair of silver stiletto heels. Even though I had seen pictures of you like this before, I was totally dumbfounded at the sight of it in real life.

"My God," I whispered. You said nothing as I managed to close the door and come over to where you were on shaky legs. They gave out as I reached you, and I found myself kneeling in front of you. "Jana, you are a goddess."

You flushed shyly and cupped my face. "You make me feel more beautiful than any other woman in the world, Cameron."

My eyes roamed your body, taking in all that was on offer. However, I was suddenly distracted by your outfit and furrowed my brow. "Are those diamonds?" I asked. You nodded. "Real diamonds?" Again you nodded. "My God, I can't believe it. That whole bra is nothing but diamonds?"

You chuckled, and I sensed your nervousness fade a little. "It's all real diamonds. It's actually a million dollars worth of jewelry between the set."

"How do you wash that?" I asked curiously.

You laughed loudly. "You aren't supposed to really wear it. It's just for show, but I suppose you could wash it by hand. I know I'm going to have to after tonight," you added somewhat breathlessly.

"Well, it's quite a show. Where on earth did you get this?"

"It was a gift. I've been doing the same runway show for this lingerie company for ten years. This was sort of a reward. It's not practical and just sits in my safe, but I thought this was a special occasion."

I nodded in agreement. With a pause in conversation between us, the moment grew serious once again. I truly had no idea where to start, but I allowed my emotions to guide me as I leaned in and kissed your mouth sweetly. You returned that sentiment, responding in kind. For several minutes we just kissed, arms around each other. I could feel you shuddering slightly. Breaking away from your lips, I met your eyes. They spoke volumes as to your desires but also your anxiety. Deciding to ignore it for the moment, I simply slid my right hand down your thigh over your calf to your foot. Gently I worked open the buckle of your heel before slipping off the shoe. I repeated the process with the other. I could feel your hands tentatively moving along my naked torso to my belt. Unsteady hands worked it open before they moved on to the button and then the zipper. For a moment that was the only sound I could hear, the releasing of the zipper on my pants. It made my heart rate speed up even faster than I thought possible. Your hands planted on my waist and lingered as if you were waiting to fortify your resolution, but after a moment, you pushed my clothes down my legs until they dropped to my knees. I swallowed hard, trying to remain confident. You had never seen me completely naked, but your eyes told of your approval.

Releasing the breath I was holding, I decided it was time for action on my part. My hands went to the front clasp of your bra and popped it open with ease. Immediately your breasts spilled freely out of the diamonds and satin. Pushing the straps from your shoulders, I was distracted for a moment with how heavy the garment was but quickly put it and my thoughts aside to focus on you.

Taking your hand, I stood both of us up. I made quick work of my pants that were pooled at my ankles, gently kicking them aside, so I was naked. You were still in your minute jeweled thong, but I didn't make a move to remove it, sensing that you weren't quite ready to be completely bare. Instead I took you by the hand and rounded the side of the bed. We stood there for a moment just kissing and gazing deeply into each other's eyes before you finally made a move, taking position on top of the bed. For a moment I just looked at you, a vision posed so provocatively but with eyes that spoke of uncertainty. Moving onto the bed, I stretched myself out next to you, mirroring your posture and hoping that I could pull it off half as well.

You reached for me, cupping the back of my head in the palm of your hand and bringing me to you. It all seemed so tender, so gentle, the way we were kissing and holding one another. I smelled the longing wafting up between our bodies, proving that we both wanted this connection desperately. Feeling the confidence surge through me at the evidence, I made a move to escalate our ardor and started to slip my hand down to a place it had never been. Fingers burrowed beneath the diamonds to cup your passion, but your body jumped at the touch.

Concerned I met your eyes. "Are you all right?" I asked in a hush, leaving my hand in place but not moving it. The feeling of your wetness seeping into my palm provoked my wanton yearning even more, but I refrained from taking what I so deliriously craved. Something in you told me patience was what was needed.

You swallowed and broke our gaze. "I'm sorry, Cameron. I'm just nervous," you confessed.

"That's okay. So am I," I admitted with a smile and a kiss to your forehead.

"I've just never loved someone the way I love you. I can't even explain it."

"I know, Jana, and I have never loved anyone the way I love you either. Let's just take our time."

You nodded in agreement. With that I pulled my hand away and took in other landscapes. Soon we were lost in the feeling of each other's bodies, kissing and stroking over skin. The diamond thong scraped against my legs as your hips rocked in rhythm against my thigh. I could feel your wetness soak through the material and knew it was time to remove the last barrier.

Moving my hands to either side of your waist, I looked deeply into you brown eyes, trying to show all the love I had for you in that one gaze. "May I please take this off, Jana?"

"Please," you answered.

Once you were naked, my hand found its way home again between your legs. Your body shivered in my arms as we kissed. "Tell me how to please you, darling. I'll do anything you ask of me."

"Please, Cameron," you begged. "Touch me... on the inside."

Granting your wish, I slipped into you delicately. You cried out as your hips rose toward the touch. I was amazed at the tightness that welcomed me. You felt so taut and warm around my fingers. Meeting your lips again, we started to kiss while I began a methodical pace, going just slightly deeper with each passing moment. My thumb joined in caressing the outside while two fingers continued pace inside. However, when I tried to add a third, you winced. "Is that too much?" I whispered into your neck, feeling your arms clasp tighter around my back in conjunction with your grunt of discomfort.

You shook your head and panted, "So tight, so good. You feel so good, Cam."

"So do you, Jana. God, you're beautiful. I love you so much," I reassured, thinking how timid you were even with all the excitement.

"I love you," you moaned as I started a rhythm you seemed to enjoy.

However, just then you cried out in pain. Panicked I stopped what I was doing immediately and remained still. "Oh, God, did I hurt you? What did I do?"

You said nothing for a moment just giving several pants of uneven breath. After a moment, you mumbled, "That hurt."

"I'm so sorry, Jana. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"It's okay, Cam. It's fine. It just hurt for a moment. I'm fine now. I promise. Please don't stop," you said with a shy grin. "It felt really good until just then."

Nodding in agreement, I answered, "I feels good from my end too." With that I went back to task, hoping that the pain I had caused wouldn't linger. It didn't appear to, and soon after I recognized the signs of peak about to come to fruition. You clutched me tightly, calling my name and proclaiming your love as you shook in my arms. I held you closely vowing myself to you once again until you settled. When you gave a content sigh, I slowly withdrew, causing you another set of tremors.

Neither of us spoke for several minutes, but finally you said, "That was amazing."

I smiled at you, happy that you were pleased and that I was able to give you that satisfaction. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Again I'm sorry about hurting you. You must have not had sex in a really long time. You are so small," I mentioned conversationally.

You cast your eyes down and shook your head. "Actually I've never had sex before," you admitted.

Completely startled by the confession, I just lied there mute for a minute. "Are you serious? You mean I'm the first?"

You nodded. "Yes, Cameron, you're the only one. I know it sounds crazy, but it's the truth."

"But you could have anyone."

"I've only ever wanted you," you answered. "It's hard to explain why I waited so long, but it meant something to me that way."

"I had no idea, Jana. It definitely meant something regardless of whether you were a virgin or not. I'm completely floored. Why did you decide to wait until now?"

With a shrug of your shoulders, you expounded on your thoughts. "I started modeling when I was sixteen. Back then I knew I didn't like boys, but it wasn't acceptable to be a model and a lesbian. I hid that from everyone, because I was afraid of what it might do to my career. Even now most people don't know except for my closest friends. Not only that, being who I am, it's hard to date. I was so attracted to you not only because you were beautiful and smart but also because you had no idea who I was. It made it so much easier to be myself instead of what people think I should be. There is also this whole idea of people seeing so much more of my body because I am a model. Sometimes I feel like I don't even own my body. I go places, and I see it up on billboards and in magazines, like an object in the public domain, something belonging to everyone. I mean, you've seen pictures of me naked, and that isn't something I would necessarily want my lover to see ahead of time. My virginity felt like the last piece of me that was truly mine. I owned it, not the public, just me. It was mine to do with what I wanted."

I nodded in understanding. What had just taken place suddenly felt like so much more. The meaning had multiplied tenfold. "And you felt I was worthy? Jana, I'm blown away. I don't even know what to say. To say that I'm honored doesn't even come close to expressing how I feel right now. Why me?"

"Because I love you, Cameron. You're the only person in this world that loves me for me. You have always understood how complicated my life is, and you've been nothing but supportive. Your arms are the only place I call home, Cam, and I wanted to give you as much as you have given me."

I shook my head in amazement. "Wow, Jana. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. You're my home too. When you're gone, it's just not the same, but I do understand following dreams, and I want all of yours to come true."

With a beautiful smile you leaned up and kissed me. "There's something I wanted to ask you tonight. I just can't keep going on this way without at least asking, and if you don't want to do this or aren't ready, we don't have to, but it's how I feel about us."

Thinking I knew what the question was, I preempted you. "If you are going to ask me to move in with you, I have news for you. I already live here, because you're here," I stated.

You nodded at me. "I know that. There was actually something else. I'm twenty-eight years old, and I have always wanted my own family. I want to have a baby, Cam, your baby."

I couldn't help the smile that broke out on my face. "Oh, Jana, I have always wanted kids, but I thought my chance was gone because of my age. I would love to have children, especially with you." Growing serious though, I continued, "There's just one thing. I really want to be married to the mother of my children."

"I was hoping that would be the case," you said with a tentative smile, reaching under the pillows. You pulled a small box out of its hiding from under the bedding. Instantly my heart started to hammer, because I immediately knew what it was. However, I decided not to say anything yet and let you do the talking. "Cameron, ever since I met you, my life hasn't been the same. It's been so much better, because you're in it. You mean everything to me. I could lose it all tomorrow but still be content if I had you. You're all I really need in life, but the idea of having our own family, of a child, our child growing inside of me fills me with happiness that I can't even explain. It would be like the perfect gift to the bond that we share. More than that though, I want to be with you always. You are the most perfect gift I have ever been given, and I love you. I've loved you practically since the moment we met. The last year and a half I've just grown to love you even more, and I know that's never going to change. Everyday that I wake up next to you, I am so thankful that you're here. And everyday that I wake up alone, I just long to be in your arms again." You paused for a moment, breaking our gaze, and I wondered if you would be able to bring yourself to say what you so obviously wanted. Meeting my eyes again, you took a deep breath. "Cameron, I can't imagine my life without you. I want us to be together. I want us to have a family and live this wonderful life that we've created." I watched as you opened the box and pulled out a platinum ring studded completely with diamonds. You reached for my left hand, holding it in your right one before meeting my eyes again. "You already make me so happy, but I really would love it if you and I could be married. Cameron, will you take me as your wife? Will you marry me?"

As soon as the words left your mouth, I felt all the air leave my lungs. Even though I knew what your intention was as soon as I saw the ring box, I still have no idea what it would actually feel like to be the recipient of such an offering. "Jana, I love you. I really do, and I would love to marry you and spend the rest of our lives together. You have breathed life back into my lungs, and because of you I am able to see the beauty of the world in a way I never had until I met you. I will marry you, but are you absolutely sure this is what you want? You have a career to consider here."

I watched as you slipped the ring onto my hand and then dug under your pillows once again to get a second box, which you handed to me. "Career and money mean nothing to me if I don't have you, Cam. You're the only thing that matters to me. Now please put this ring on my hand."

I did as I was told, taking the other ring from its box and placing it on your left ring finger. Yours was more traditional with one large stone accented by smaller ones. For a moment I felt bad that you had bought your own engagement ring. "These are stunning rings, Jana. I wish I was able to buy you such nice things."

"Money doesn't matter, Cameron. You've given me more than these rings could ever be worth. You've given me your heart. I just wanted the rings as a symbol of that love. All my monetary possessions are yours just as all of yours are mine. They are ours, now and always."

I smiled and nodded. You seemed sure of your feelings, making me even more so in my own. "I love you, Jana Mueller," I said with a smile as I pulled your body against mine and found your neck with my lips.

"I love you too, Dr. Grant," you giggled followed by a needy moan as my hand found its way back between your legs. "Now make love to me again."

Our mouths met slowly as you slipped your thigh between my legs. Even in my wet swimming trunks, I could feel the pressure building inside both of us as you rubbed against me seductively. Straddling my leg you sat up enough for your right hand to slither between our bodies to the tie on my suit. "All this reminiscing about our lovemaking makes me amorous," you whispered with a giggle. "You are wearing too many clothes for what I want to do to you."

"You know I am always up for intimate time with you, love, but I feel awkward out here in the open. You know what happened last time we got carried away outside of the privacy of our house."

You groaned and rolled off me. "Don't remind me. That was awful."

Continued in Part 3

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