by Alex Tryst

Dedication & Author's Note: See Chapter 1.

Feedback: Drop me a line if you’d like at alextryst@e-scribblers.com.

Copyright © June, 2008 by Alex Tryst. All Rights Reserved.

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A week later Alexa found herself at the doctor’s office for her egg extraction. As she sat there waiting for the doctor, she thought about what she had learned from Lauren at their last dinner. The door opened interrupting her thoughts, though.

“Your highness, it is good to see you again,” Lauren’s ex-fiancée, Janice McQuade stated with a friendly smile.

“Dr. McQuade, how are you?”

“I’m well. How are you?”

“Just fine. Listen. Before we begin the procedure, I was wondering if I could speak to you about something.”

“Certainly. What is on your mind?”

“When you do the egg extraction today, I was wondering if I could ask you to remove more than you need.”

“Why would you want me to do that?”

“I would like to have some extra. This procedure is always so arduous, and to me they are just eggs. I would prefer that I not have to do this again, so please take more than you need and keep them frozen just in case. You do not even have to combine them with Meredith’s right away. Just save them. We can always discard them later if they are not used.”

“If that is what you truly want, I can do that.”

“Good. Thank you, Dr. McQuade. I appreciate this.” There was a pause between them, but Alexa wanted to know more about the relationship the doctor once had with her former lover. Unable to stop herself, she said, “You know, I just recently realized we have a mutual acquaintance.”

“Oh? Who might that be?”

“Lauren Fulton.”

Janice looked at her in confusion. “I didn’t realize you knew Lauren. She’s my ex-fiancée.”

“So I heard but I also heard you were still friends.”

“Yes. She is a lovely woman. It’s too bad it didn’t work out for us. I loved her. She deserved the best.”

“May I ask what happened?”

“We broke up over something that looking back seems kind of ridiculous. We broke up over a ring she always wore. I suppose it was just a symptom of other problems, though. We just weren’t meant to be.”

“A diamond ring?”

“You know the one. It looked like an engagement ring, but she wore it on her right hand,” the doctor mentioned. “She never would take that thing off. She said it was a special gift, and when I pressed her about it, she said someone special gave it to her, some military friend. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was a lover, who I think she still had feelings for. Nevertheless, it just wasn’t meant to be for the two of us. I hope someday she finds the love of her life.”

“That makes two of us.”

“How long have you known Lauren?”

“About five years. We met when she still lived in Florida, and I was a pilot at the base nearby.”

There was an awkward pause between them. Alexa could see Janice visibly stiffen and then look at her thoughtfully. “Were you a Navy pilot by chance?”

“Yes. Why?”

“It was you, wasn’t it? The one who broke her heart.”

“What do you mean?”

“When we first started dating, she said she had gotten her heart broken by a Navy pilot who was from this area. She said she had met her in Florida, and she had moved here to be closer to her when her duty was over there. She’s never told me who it was, even though I asked several times.”

Alexa shook her head. “I think Lauren’s secrets are best told by her. If she wanted you to know about her former lover, she would have told you.”

Janice nodded her head. “That’s probably true. I’d really like to know who that was to tell them what an idiot they were, though. She still loves them, whoever they are. I think she always will.”

Over the course of the next few weeks Alexa and Lauren spent time together having dinner or talking on the phone. It seemed quite obvious to both of them the attraction they once shared was still there, even though neither was brave enough to confront it. However, then Alexa found out some news that changed the way she felt about her relationship with Lauren. She had suspected it for some time, but the evidence had finally made it into her hands. Meredith was having an affair.

That night over dinner Alexa was quiet as she and Lauren ate at the librarian’s house. The older woman could sense something wrong with the princess, but she wasn’t sure she should ask. The gaze she was getting across the table was sending the message that even though something was bothering her, Alexa didn’t know how to talk about it. She wanted to, but she didn’t have the words right then, so Lauren was patient. She waited until the meal was finished and Alexa had washed the dishes as she always did.

They went into the den and sat on the sofa. Alexa refilled her own wine glass from the bottle before gesturing to Lauren’s glass. The redhead nodded in acceptance and held out her glass for the princess to fill. Neither spoke for a moment, but finally Lauren put her wine on the coffee table and curled her hand around Alexa’s arm. “I can see something is bothering you. We are friends, Lex. If you want to talk about it, we can.”

The brunette nodded her head as she finished off her wine in one large sip. She desperately wanted to tell her, so she finally admitted, “I found something out today that was shocking. No one knows this except Matthew and me.” Lauren nodded her head for her to continue. Taking a breath she said, “I found out that Mere is having an affair.”

“Do you know with whom?”

“Yes,” she confessed. “Someone I never would have expected.”

Lauren waited for further disclosure but none came. She figured Alexa didn’t want to tell her that. “Well, I am sure this is hard on you. I know you and Meredith have been having problems.”

“Well, that is just it. We have not really been having problems. After all we are just friends. I am a little hurt that she went behind my back, but I guess I am sadder that neither of us is happy. I care about her, and I want her to be happy. If it is with this other woman, then fine, but we both have these obligations that keep us from being who we are. We have to have this front for the world, and I really am tired of it. I just want to be able to be myself, and I do not feel like myself anywhere but here.”

“At least you have here. You will always have here,” Lauren stated, tightening her grip around the taller woman’s shoulders. Pausing for a moment, Alexa knew she had something else to say, but she was working up the nerve. She was feeling more vulnerable than she had ever felt in the redhead’s presence. Turning into the embrace, she pulled Lauren to her, and the women held each other closely. “Come here,” Lauren whispered, pulling the heir down against the couch next to her. They laid in each other’s embrace for a long time in silence, but their bodies spoke louder than any words ever could, and within only a few minutes they found the position in which they felt most natural to each other, the same position they had always cuddled in at bedtime when they had been dating. Lauren’s smaller frame draped across Alexa’s with her head on the heir’s chest listening to her heart.

It felt incredibly good to Alexa to have Lauren in her arms. She knew she had been fighting her sensibilities for the months they had reunited. Every night she had been with the librarian, she had walked away aching with desire, but right then she felt more loved than she had in the last five years. For a moment she forgot all her problems and just focused on Lauren. “It feels so good to hold you,” she confessed in a whisper.

The comment took Lauren by surprise. She knew she had been feeling things for the princess again, but just then she knew those feelings were returned. Raising her head slowly off of Alexa’s chest, she gazed down into dark eyes. She had done that so many times before, and just like then those eyes showed so much. Immediately she realized where she was and how close she was to what she wanted. However, the princess seemed to have taken the initiative as she cupped Lauren’s cheek with her right hand. “Alexa,” she murmured.

The heir saw it all in Lauren’s face and heard it in the way Lauren said her name. It was still there. The love had never left, and just then Alexa was desperate for a feel of it. “This is ridiculous, Lauren. I cannot go on this way,” she declared, before leaning up to find the librarian’s lips with her own. The world started to spin at the familiar feeling. Lauren’s mouth eagerly cohered to her own as her hands became active along the redhead’s body. She took in the landscape of her back as her fingers slipped under the casual cotton shirt Lauren had been wearing. The skin felt just the same. Both of them indulged in the feeling for several minutes, but Lauren finally pulled away.

“Lex, we cannot do this.”

“I cannot deny my feelings for you any more, Lauren. For the past five years I have had to force them deep inside myself, and I do not want to live that way any longer. I love you. I have never stopped loving you. I want to be with you so badly that nothing else seems to matter. The day you refused my hand in marriage, something inside me died, and it has only been these last few months being with you that I have started to feel alive again. You make me feel more alive than anyone else. I want to touch you.”

Lauren shook her head as she quickly rose from the sofa. Her body screamed at her mind to stop, but her head forced her to move away. “Alexa, please do not say such things,” she implored.

The princess followed her across the room, pinning her against the wall leading back toward the kitchen. “Why not? I know you feel the same way, Lauren. Do not deny your heart.” Alexa fell to her knees as tears came to her eyes. She gripped Lauren by the thighs, forcing her to stay in place. “Please. I am begging you. I crave you, Lauren. I dream about making love to you every night that I visit here. I have not forgotten how you feel against my body, your weight underneath me, your breasts heaving against mine. I cannot forget how you feel from the inside, how you would hold me inside yourself, refusing to relinquish my touch. You make me feel like I am home. You are the only woman who has ever made me feel. You are the only woman I have ever wanted, and you are the only woman I ever want to make love to for the rest of my life. Please. Do not deny my desperate heart the healing power of your love. I know you love me. I can feel that you do. Please just say it is true.”

Looking down at the princess on her knees in front of her with tears streaming down her face, Lauren felt the lock on her heart shatter. She couldn’t deny it any longer. She didn’t care who Alexa was. The only thing that meant something to her was that this woman kneeling before her loved her. Sinking to her knees, so they were on the same level, Lauren took Alexa’s face in her hands. Tears began to run her cheeks as well as she whispered, “It is true. I love you, Lex. I have never stopped. So many nights I have wanted you. Your touch is the only one that has ever set me ablaze in a fashion I never knew possible. It has been so hard having you around, but I thought it was better to at least be able to see you, even if we could never be lovers again. I should have never let you go. It was the biggest mistake I have ever made. You have no idea how badly I wanted to say yes when you proposed to me. I should have. We would both be happy. Now we are both miserable in our lives.”

“But we can find that happiness again. As long as we are together, that is all I need.”

“Your life is so complicated. I do not know if I could handle it.”

“Could you try for us? All I want is another chance to love you.”

Lauren shook her head. “I do not know if I can.” Alexa felt her heart drop into her stomach, but the redhead continued. “However, there is one thing I do know, Alexa.”

“What is that?”

The older woman leaned in the heir’s ear and kissed it gently as she confessed, “I do not think I could make it one more second without feeling your hands on my body. Tomorrow is going to bring its own challenges, but tonight I want you to make love to me.”

Alexa moaned at the request and the feeling of Lauren’s lips against her neck. “It would give me great pleasure to do just that. I have waited for five years to hear you make that request. Take me to your bed, and I will give you heaven.” It wasn’t until late that night that the princess tried to leave her lover’s bed. She could see the tears on the librarian’s face as she stood at the foot of the bed dressing in her clothes to go home. The redhead said nothing at first, but the tears spoke for her. Alexa felt them in her soul. “This feels like deja vu,” she mentioned. “The last time you cried this way after making love was the morning you broke my heart. Is that what I am about to receive from you now?” she questioned hesitantly.

Lauren shook her head and sat up. She held out her arms to the princess, who came and stood in them. “I do not know what to do. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else, Alexa. This will never work, though. We both know it.”

“What about this has to work? You have my love, Lauren. What else could I give you? What do you want from me? Name it and it is yours.”

She shook her head as it dropped against the heir’s stomach. Alexa gently ran her fingers through the soft hair, not knowing what else to say. “You could not possibly give me what I want, Alexa.”

“That is not true. Are you not satisfied? Do I not please you?”

“It is not just about sex. Just because you are the best lover I have ever had, does not mean I am satisfied. There are other things I want that you cannot give me.”

“Like what?” Lauren wouldn’t answer, so the heir ventured a guess. “A baby?”

“What?” she asked in obvious shock.

“You said you wanted to have a baby. Is that what you want from me?” the princess asked, kneeling by the bedside.

“That is impossible. We both know that.”

“Lauren, do not think for me. I want you to answer my question from your heart. Do not think about any potential consequences. Just tell me the truth. Do you want to have a baby with me?”

“How can I not think about consequences? That would be irresponsible of me.”

“Because those are my consequences to bear, not yours. Is that what this is all about with you? Are you afraid of the consequences of our love?”

“You cannot tell me that you are not. Your mother would never forgive you.”

Alexa snarled as she answered, “My mother has taken away everything that means anything to me, and I am tired of it. I am ready to take it back. I am ready to be the woman I know I can be. I will stand up to my queen and stand down from my position if that is what you desire. I can take care of you. I am an Admiral in the United States Navy. That position pays well. You will never have to be without. Five years is enough pain for both of us. Just tell me your longing, and I will appease you.”

Lauren sighed as she broke their gaze. Changing the subject slightly, she asked, “Do you remember the night we met?”

“Of course. You rebuked me like no other.”

“Yes, well that was before I knew who you were. That night when I got home and went to sleep I had a dream about you, about us really. I dreamed that you and I were married with four children, four adorable girls. I dreamed about us living in my tiny house on the beach and making love every night under the stars. It was a good dream. Even though I was angry with you that first night, something in me was still attracted to you. I remember that dream like I had it yesterday, and sometimes when I am all alone, I fantasize about it. It is a dream I wish to live, Flash. I deserve my dream or at least as close to it as I can get.”

“You are absolutely right, Lauren. You deserve to live your dream, and if that is what you really want, I will make it happen for you. Right now I am married, but I do not have to stay married. Mere is for all purposes infertile, and I can legally divorce her under the law for that reason. That will take time, though. It could take another two years, and I know you want to have a baby now. If you are okay with having a baby without us being married first, I will give you a child now.”

“But then that child will be heir to the throne. I do not want that for her. This will never work, Lex. You cannot change who you are.”

The princess paused for a moment to think. Nodding her head with a solution, she said, “We will not tell her. We will not tell anyone. I will be your donor, and I will take care of you financially. If you do not want me to be a parent to her in the traditional sense, then fine. I am far from having a traditional life, and I am not sure how much I would be able to see her anyway. You would be her mother, and I will be whoever you want me to be to this little girl. Think about it, Lauren. You want to have a baby with me, and I want to have one with you. We can do this without hurting anyone if we are just secret about it.”

The redhead shook her head in concern. “I do not know. It is so tempting. I never imagined you would ever offer yourself this way. It is almost surreal. I need time to think about it. This is complicated, and people could get hurt.”

“All right. Fine. Think about it but for once in your life, Lauren, think about yourself. This is what you want, and I am willing to give it to you. Please take this gift, the gift of life and love. I could bear to go on living my life the way it is now if I had to, knowing that you are carrying my child that was conceived out of our love for each other and nothing else. To know we are bonded together through a baby would be the best thing to ever happen to my life.”

“Mine too,” she whispered.

“Then I think we should do what will make us both happy. Just think about that.”

A couple of weeks passed before the subject came up again. However, one night as the two lay in bed, Lauren kissed her lover on the shoulder as she asked, “Can we talk about this baby idea?”

“Of course. Have you come to a decision?”

The librarian nodded her head as she propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at the princess. “You asked me what I wanted, Lex, so I think I should be honest with you about my desires.”

“Certainly. I want you to, Lauren. It is the only way we are going to get anywhere.”

The redhead nodded. She took a deep breath before saying, “I want to get married to you, and I want to have children with you. Those are the two things I want in life more than anything. I should have been honest with you about that five years ago, but I was afraid that I was taking you away from your destiny. Now I know that I was just delaying my own. I love you, and I want to be with you. I am ready to be the woman I know I can be, and if that means I have to go before the queen myself and tell her that I refuse to allow her to ruin my life, I will.”

“Oh, Lauren. It makes me so happy to hear you finally say that. I want those things just like you. The only problem is that I am already married, and getting a divorce will take time. That is time we really do not have to waste when it comes to children.”

“I know. If we have to do this out of order, then that is what we will do. I know it will take time to divorce Meredith, and furthermore, it will be complicated, especially since you do not have children together, and you mother will have something to say about that.” She paused for a moment. “I have actually thought about this part the most. Your mother will be much more forgiving for leaving Meredith if you had a baby together to carry on the line. As much as I hate the thought of you having a child with another woman, I think it would be easier if you and Meredith had a child before you got a divorce.”

“You are probably correct. However, I do not care about that. My mother’s wrath means nothing to me if I can have you. Besides the doctors are not even sure she can have children.”

“Just hear me out on this, Lex. If you have a baby with Meredith, it would ensure that our girls would never have to take the throne. I know we do not plan on telling anyone, but the fact will remain that by being your children, they will be princesses whether your mother likes that or not. Your mother would automatically want your and Meredith’s child to be heir, not ours. They would be safe from those responsibilities.”

“All right. I see what you are saying. I do not like it, but I understand it. That still leaves the problem of Meredith and I being married.”

“You are going to have to remain married until you have a baby, Lex. There is no way around that. As much as I hate to admit it, it is the truth.”

“But...”

Lauren placed her fingers to Alexa’s lips to silence her. “Listen to me, Lex. I spent the last five years miserable, thinking that I gave up my true love. Now I know you and I still feel the same. That is enough for me right now. We can have children now, and I can wait for you as long as I have to as long as I know when it is all over, we will be together. Promise me now that you will come for me when the time is right. That is all I need.”

Leaning up the brunette kissed Lauren sweetly as she turned her onto her back against the bed. Immediately arms pulled her closer, so she was lying between her lover’s thighs. Alexa smiled down at Lauren as she tenderly caressed the redhead’s face. “I will always come for you, Lauren,” she avowed. “You are the woman I want to be with for the rest of my life, and words cannot express how happy you have made me tonight. Nothing gives me greater happiness than to know you love me enough to carry my child.”

Lauren smiled at the woman hovered above her. She and her tall, dark, sexy princess were finally going to be together. It was what she had always wanted. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Stay with me tonight, Lex. I really could not bear it if you went home tonight. I need to be close to you right now.”

The princess gave her a charming one-sided grin. “I am not going anywhere. The whole night is yours to do whatever you desire.”

In the morning after they had gotten out of bed and taken a shower together, Alexa made them breakfast. Sitting together at the kitchen table, Lauren asked, “Do you have any ideas on how we are going to have this baby? I have not come up with anything yet. I had not even thought that far ahead.”

“Never fear, darling. I had eggs extracted weeks ago. I had asked Janice to extract extra, because that process it so grueling that I did not want to have to do it any more if possible. I told her just to keep them frozen and not combine them with Meredith’s DNA. I was going to discard them if they were never needed, but that is not necessary now. All we need is your eggs to combine the DNA.”

“Well, that is easy enough. Janice has them at the clinic. I had already done that when we were engaged.”

“Then there is not time to waste. We can call her today and have her start the process.”

“But I thought she was Meredith’s doctor. Do you not find that to be a bit of a conflict of interest for her? She is my friend, and I would love to use her as my doctor, but do you think that is wise?”

“It will be fine. I figured you would want to use Janice. She is the best in the country, and you deserve the best of everything. Besides she owes me.”

“What does she owe you?”

“That is between us. Do not worry about a thing. We can make an appointment with her together. There are several forms we have to complete, so we might as well go at the same time.”

“How about I call her office and make the appointment for me, and you can come along? We probably do not want to arise any suspicions beforehand.”

“We could probably get in sooner if you say the appointment is for me.”

“That is probably true. Let me try now. The office is open on Saturdays.”

Because it was Alexa, she got an appointment for the following week instead of several weeks in advance like the rest of the people who used the clinic. When that day arrived, Alexa and Lauren arrived separately but sat together in a private waiting room like the princess always did when she was there instead of the pubic one, because the heir demanded privacy. Neither spoke as they just pretended to read magazines.

When the door opened, Janice McQuade didn’t even look up from her file at first as she said, “Your highness, you requested my presence. I have a full schedule today, so what can I do for you?” Alexa didn’t answer at first, waiting until the doctor raised her eyes. When Janice did she was obviously surprised. “Lauren, hi. I didn’t realize you were in here. What’s going on?” she questioned.

Alexa stood up from the sofa. “Dr. McQuade, we need to speak with you about a private matter. It is of some urgency.”

“Of course. Let’s all take a seat. What can I do for you, your highness?” she asked, directing her words to Alexa.

Alexa took Lauren’s hand and looked at her for a moment. As soon as she said these next words, there was no turning back, and she wanted to make sure her lover was all right with the events that were about to unfold. Seeing nervousness but conviction in those blue eyes, she turned back to the doctor. “Lauren and I would like to have a baby. It is my understanding that you have both her eggs and mine. We would like for you to combine the DNA and implant the embryos in Lauren,” she stated without any waiver to her voice, even though she too was nervous.

Janice just looked at them for a moment in what could only be described as genuine shock. Finally she turned to her friend. “Lauren, is this what you want? Is this what you really want?”

The redhead looked at her lover for a moment and then back at her friend. “Yes, Janice. It is.”

“And, your highness, you are absolutely sure you want to do this?”

“I know what I am doing, Dr. McQuade. Do not question me.” Alexa’s voice took on an edge to it that made Lauren stiffen. She didn’t hear that tone often, but at that moment she was sitting with the heir to the throne, not her lover.

Unable to help herself, she inquired, “Does Princess Meredith know about this?”

Alexa stood up once again. “Lauren, if you would not mind, I need to have a word with Dr. McQuade in private.”

Janice looked at the librarian for a moment before saying, “You can go wait in my office. Do you remember the way?”

“Sure.”

“This will only take a few minutes,” Alexa assured, cupping Lauren’s face in her hand for a moment before letting her go. When they were alone, the princess turned cold dark eyes on the doctor. “How dare you question me?”

“I’m sorry, your highness. It is just a conflict of interest for me to try and impregnate Lauren with your eggs when I’m also trying to do the same with the princess.”

Stepping into the doctor’s space, Alexa growled, “Let me tell you a little something about conflicts of interest, Janice. Do you not find it a conflict to be sleeping with one of your patients?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she weakly said.

“Do not take me for a fool. I know about you and Meredith. You have been sleeping with my wife. Have you forgotten with whom you are dealing?”

“No, your highness.”

“Good. See that you do not. Now let me tell you a little something. I do not care that you are sleeping with Meredith. I care about her, and I want her to be happy. Is she happy with you? Do you give her what she needs?”

“I try my best. She says she is tired of the spotlight, tired of living a lie. This infertility is weighing on her, but she says she can forget when she’s with me.”

“Good. I am glad to hear it. Listen, Janice. If Meredith has confided in you, then you know by now that our marriage is a farce. She cares about me just the way I care about her, but that is all. We are trying to do what is right by the country, but all we really want to do is what is right by ourselves. I have no objections to you and Meredith if you make her happy. She deserves happiness but so do I, and I have it with Lauren. Lauren wants to have a baby. You know this, and I want to be the one to give her that. You will do as we ask, or you will suffer the consequences of having your affair publicly announced. You do not want that. Think about Meredith.”

“Very well. I understand your position.”

“Good. And one last thing do not even think about telling Meredith about this. If you do, I will see to it that you never practice medicine again anywhere in the world.”

“I won’t say a thing. Patient confidentially is extremely important to me. It’s the cornerstone of my practice.”

Alexa nodded her head, feeling that they understood each other. “Before we go retrieve Lauren, let me ask you something. Do you love Meredith?”

“Yes.”

“Does she love you?”

“She says she does, and I have no reason not to believe her.”

“Do you see yourselves having a future together?”

Janice hesitated but finally said, “I would try to give her the world if I could. You know, she cares about you, your highness, but she regrets marrying you. She said the first year it was great, because she thought she was in love with you. However, she says she grew up and realized she never loved you. She was just in lust, and she wishes she had not been so hasty to give in to her parents’ and the queen’s desires to see you two married.” The doctor cracked a small smile. “You know, she actually told me that she wished she had slept with you before the wedding. It was her whole reason for marrying you. She wanted to have sex with you. I guess at nineteen that is a good enough reason to get married.”

“Well, that feeling certainly was mutual. It is just too bad we had to walk this path for the last five years.”

The doctor shrugged. “Although had you not come to the clinic I may never have met her, so for that I feel blessed.”

“That is how I feel with Lauren. Just do me a favor and take care of her. Meredith is a wonderful woman.”

“I know; so is Lauren.”

“Could we continue our consultation now? I have to get back to my pretend life at some point,” she teased.

Janice chuckled for a moment but then grew serious. “You know, Lauren really loves you. I don’t want to see her hurt.”

“I have no intention of hurting her. I just want to love her freely the way you seem to love Meredith. Maybe some day we can all have that. Maybe some day we can all actually even be friends. Until then, though, I ask you to keep all this between us.”

“I understand. Come on. Let’s get Lauren.”

Walking down the hall to the doctor’s personal office, they found the redhead looking out the window. She looked at them nervously, but both women smiled at her. “All right, Lauren. I’m assuming you’ve been tracking your cycle, so we know when you’re ovulating.” She nodded her head. “Then this shouldn’t be too difficult. We’ll combine your DNA with Princess Alexa’s, and that will be that. I’ll get started on it right away. You two just need to sign some forms.”

Coming to her friend, Lauren hugged Janice tightly. “Thank you for understanding,” she said.

Continued in Chapter 9

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