by Alex Tryst

Dedication & Author's Note: See Chapter 1.

Feedback: Drop me a line if you’d like at alextryst@e-scribblers.com.

Copyright © June, 2008 by Alex Tryst. All Rights Reserved.

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Five years passed, and in that time Alexa only thought of Lauren in the most private of times when she was truly alone with her thoughts. She was too busy with her royal duties to have much free time to think or even enjoy life. The only pleasure she did have was in spending time with Meredith. Over the course of the past five years the now twenty-four year old princess had been pressing Alexa for a baby, and Alexa knew it was her duty to have such offspring for the family line, but their reproductive efforts had not been successful. Meredith had not been able to conceive except for one occasion, but unfortunately she had miscarried their child after only a few weeks. This caused the younger woman despondency for she felt she was not living up to her part of their marriage, even though Alexa tried to assure her that they would have children when the time was right.

Alex had her own doubts, though, as she watched her wife suffer through being implanted with embryos every other month only to discover that they had not taken. She knew the process was painful for Meredith, but she did admire her wife’s dedication to the cause. It drew them closer together to have such tribulation in their life. However, what was not helping their situation was the speculation from the media as to why they had not conceived a child. Unsubstantiated rumors circulated in the press, so much so that Alexa wanted to put an end to it all by telling the people the truth, but the queen would not allow her to do so. By allowing the people to know about the disease that inflicted the young princess, the queen feared other speculation would follow concerning the future of the marriage between the heir and her bride. The law did allow for divorce under such circumstances as infertility where the royals were concerned, but the queen did not want the people to even think such a thing regarding Alexa and Meredith, so the two princesses suffered in silence together.

One day when they were at the clinic, their doctor sat them down for a discussion. “Your highnesses, I just wanted to discuss the course of Princess Meredith’s treatment with you. We have done all that we can to treat her endometriosis and minimize her pain. However, in doing so, the drugs she is taking may have inhibited her from being able to carry an embryo to term. I must make a suggestion to you. It is not something I do lightly, because it would be potentially very painful to the princess, but it might be the only way to have a child short of finding a surrogate to carry for you.”

“What is your suggestion?” Meredith asked, taking her wife’s hand.

“Take you off your medications. The medications you are on are potentially suppressing your body’s natural cycle. If we take you off them, you will fall back into your natural menstrual cycle, whatever that might be, and we can try to adapt our procedures to it. My hope is that your body will decide to accept the embryo that way. Right now the medications you are taking are causing your body to reject it I think.”

“If that is what you think I should do, then I suppose I should do it.”

“I must warn you, though. Going off these medications could prove to be painful for you. You could suffer cramps far worse than anything you have ever experienced. You could have internal bleeding. There are things that could prove to be difficult for you. The symptoms are quite varied by woman.”

“But from what I understand, if I were able to carry a child full term, my endometriosis will most likely go into remission.”

“That is true in some cases.”

Alexa sighed as she looked at her wife. She knew Meredith would do whatever it took to have a baby, so she commented, “I will leave the decision to you, Mere. This is your body. I would not want you to suffer any more than you already do.”

“I am willing to try anything. I will stop taking my medication. How long do we have to wait after I go off until we can try again?”

“I would give it a few months. These IVF procedures are painful enough. You and Princess Alexa both are putting your bodies through enough trauma. To remove your eggs is incredibly invasive, but we are going to have to retrieve more, and I know that will take some time. Then we are going to have to do the same for Princess Alexa. We did not take that many to begin with, because I did not realize the process would be so arduous, but we will have to harvest more from both of you and then combine the DNA before we try any more embryo implants. This will take months. However, we need that time for the medication to leave your system and see what your body’s natural cycle might look like, if you have one at all.”

“Fine. If that is what must be done. We have to have a baby. There is no alternative,” Meredith definitively answered.

“Very well. We should set up appointments to do the egg harvesting for you both, so we can start immediately on merging the DNA.”

Leaving the clinic that day, Meredith cried all the way back to the palace. Alexa knew there was nothing she could do, so she simply held her wife trying to comfort her to the best of her ability. She didn’t like seeing her wife in pain, but she lacked the ability to do anything other than assure her things would work out in the end.

That afternoon as Alexa was in her office Matthew announced his presence. She gave him a small smile trying to force her and her wife’s difficulties from her mind. “Matthew, what can I do for you?”

“I need to speak with you, Lex, about something quite important.”

“Very well. I am listening.”

“I have sat on this information for six months, knowing the timing of it could not be worse, but I cannot keep it to myself any longer.”

“Then speak, Matthew. What is it?”

Her secretary took a seat in the chair in front of her desk. “Alexa, several years ago you once asked me to make special accommodations for Ms. Lauren Fulton. Anything she wanted you said I was to give her.”

At the hearing Lauren’s name, Alexa’s heart started to pound. Her mind went wild, wondering what on earth Matthew was going to say. “Go on.”

“She has requested so little since that time. She only asked that you stop paying her expenses, which I did on your behalf. But now she has requested an audience with you. She would like to see you. I was not sure that was a request you would be willing to accommodate, especially with everything that has been going on in your life with Meredith, so I waited for things to settle. However, she made the request a second time three months ago. I feel obligated to give her a response at some point.”

“She wants to see me? Did she say why?”

“No.”

“Well, I suppose I should see her then. After all, I did agree to give her everything she ever wanted and needed. We will go to her place of work tomorrow and see what she wants. Please call the library and make sure she is scheduled to be there.”

“Yes, Lex. Right away.” For the rest of the day, the princess wondered why after all this time Lauren wanted to see her. The redhead had made it clear that she no longer wanted to be in her life.

The next afternoon Matthew and Alexa went to Lauren’s place of employment. When the princess walked in a hush fell over the idle chatter that was taking place behind the Information Desk. Both she and her secretary approached the women standing there. Matthew inquired of Lauren’s whereabouts and was directed to the third floor where he was told she was setting up a conference room. Armed with the information the two of them took the stairs to the third floor. They searched every corner of that floor until Alexa’s eyes fell upon what she was after. There she was, her back to the door. Lauren was arranging chairs and tables mindless to who was observing her. Whispering to Matthew to guard the door once she went inside, Alexa gave a knock on the open door and waited.

When Lauren turned she jumped at the sight that greeted her. There was the princess dressed in a suit, but she looked very much the same as the last time she had seen her. Immediately the redhead remembered her manners and bowed in Alexa’s presence. “Your highness, what are you doing here?”

“You requested my presence, Lauren, so here I am. May I come in?”

Lauren nodded her head and watched as Alexa shut the door behind her, so they were alone. The princess crossed the room, closing the gap between them until they were just a few feet apart. “I asked for you six months ago and then again three months ago.”

“Yes, well, I am sorry for the delay. It could not be helped. What can I do for you?”

Lauren shook her head. She thought she had gotten over her. After all, she had dated someone since and had agreed to marry someone else, but looking at the princess just then, it felt as if no time had passed. Her heart still belonged to Alexa. “It does not matter anymore. Six months ago I had news I wished to share with you, but it is hardly relevant now. I wanted to tell you for myself that I was to be married, but as it turns out, that engagement has since been broken. I am sorry you traveled here just to hear me say that. I should have told Matthew I had rescinded my request, but I did not actually think you would come. My apologies for wasting your time. It was not my intention.”

Alexa nodded her head. “Seeing you is not a waste of time, Lauren. In fact, it is welcomed. I have thought of you many times. You look good. Time has definitely been kind to you. You are as beautiful as I remember.”

“Thank you, your highness,” she answered, trying desperately not to let the comment affect her heart. She knew it was a losing battle, though. “You look just the same.”

The princess nodded again. Not knowing what else to say just then, she mentioned, “I see you are still wearing the jewelry I gave you. I am glad to know it is being put to use.” Seeing where Alexa’s eyes were, her right hand instinctively covered the diamond necklace hanging from her neck. It was a piece that she always wore under her clothes, but she didn’t realize it had slipped out from under her blouse. At the gesture Alexa’s eyes caught the ring that Lauren had on her right hand. Her heart constricted at the sight. The ring was the one she used to propose to the redhead those years ago. Unable to stop herself, she reached for Lauren’s hand, bringing it between her own. “You still have this?”

“I did not know what else to do with it. I could not give it back nor could I sell it.”

“So you have just worn it all this time?”

Lauren didn’t answer the question. She was not prepared to reveal the fact that she had worn it everyday since the day the princess had bestowed it upon her. The only time she had taken it off was to move it from her left to right hand, where it had remained, which was why her engagement ultimately disintegrated. She refused to take off the ring she had been given by the woman she once loved, the woman she obviously still loved as she gazed upon her. The librarian couldn’t speak as she looked into dark eyes. She was paralyzed by her emotions.

Alexa could feel her heart pounding wildly at the thought of Lauren wearing her ring all that time. It made her breathing turn erratic as her mind took her back to that night, the way they made love and the way Lauren felt in her arms. She could feel it all as if the memory were just a few days old. That moment right then that was all that mattered. “Lauren,” she whispered, putting one arm around the redhead’s body and pulling her closer. She leaned in, allowing herself to smell the scent that was uniquely Lauren’s. It still had the same effect on her emotions and her libido.

Lauren could feel herself beginning to get lightheaded. In the months that had followed their breakup, she had fantasized about this moment, and even after she had gotten engaged to another woman, she secretly harbored this dream of having a chance to be close to the princess again. Closing her eyes, she took in the feeling of their bodies pressed together. “Flash,” she murmured, helpless to the power of her emotions. Then before she realized it, their lips were sealed in a strong lock. Everything she had dreamed of for the last five years came crashing upon her in that one kiss, and she held on to the princess by the back of the neck with all her strength, allowing the moment to consume her.

Alexa groaned deeply as their tongues met. Lauren tasted exactly the same, her sweet mouth and lips so eager to be caressed. The princess felt as if she was home once again. She couldn’t break away from this woman if her very life depended on it. Finally though when air ceased to be in her lungs, she pulled back just long enough to breathe before meeting Lauren’s mouth once again. They seemed so thirsty for each other, the years having kept them apart so long.

It took long minutes before reality slipped back into the librarian’s mind. This was not some fantasy she had created in her head. Alexa was really there doing what she had always dreamed she would. However, there were complications that made Lauren finally pull away and take a shaky breath. Dark eyes were blazing in fervor as she gazed at them. It seemed to her that the love Alexa claimed she would always have for her still existed after her five-year absence. Nevertheless, they were different people now.

“Your highness, we must not do that.”

“We both want to. You cannot deny me that, Lauren.”

The redhead shook her head. “I do not deny it. The fact remains you are married, and I cannot allow myself to become emotionally involved with you.”

“You already are. This ring proves it. You still love me. Say it is true.”

Lauren shook her head and broke away from the arms that held her. Her body protested as much then as it did five years ago, but she knew it was for the best. “I cannot. I will not.”

“Then you deny yourself your happiness still.”

“I thought I had moved beyond this. For heaven’s sake, I accepted another woman’s hand, thinking that I had gotten over you.”

“Then why are you not together?”

“Because as it turns out, my heart was not with her. I cannot marry someone I do not love.”

Alexa nodded her head. “That is understandable. Take it from someone who has done that, it is more difficult than you expect. Sometimes it can work, but most of the time it does not.”

“I know, which is why I remain unmarried to this day. You, on the other hand, had no choice. You are married, and from what I hear, it is to a dedicated wife.”

“Meredith has proven to be more devoted to the crown and to me than I ever imagined possible. She has matured into quite a woman and holds the post with dignity and grace. She is not the fledgling teenager that I married. She is truly a princess.”

“And you love her,” Lauren supplied.

“I must confess that I do, but it is in a special way. I feel more in friendship than in matrimony. I care for her deeply, but as far as loving her, it is not the kind of love I dreamed of having in a spouse. The only time I have felt love of that nature has been with you, Lauren. I have never known it to exist elsewhere,” she admitted.

Nodding her head in concession, the librarian mumbled, “Nor have I.”

The looked at each other silently for several moments. “So, what shall we do then?”

“Nothing. There is nothing to do. You must return to your wife.”

“Have dinner with me tonight,” Alexa suggested, ignoring Lauren’s comment.

“Excuse me?”

“Have dinner with me tonight at the palace.”

“Have you lost your senses, Lex? What would your wife think of such an idea?”

“She will not be there. She leaves this evening to see her family.”

“What about your mother?”

“She is in Europe. No one is residing at the palace but me. Please have dinner with me tonight. I cannot just let you walk out of my life again now that you have invited yourself back into it. At the very least can we not try to be the friends we once were?”

“Friends? Surely you jest. I do not think that is wise.”

“Can we just try? Accept my invitation to dinner. After tonight if you feel friendship is out of the question, then you will be free to say so, and I will respect your wishes. Just give me one night.”

Going against her better judgment, Lauren replied, “Very well.”

“Wonderful. I will have a car come for you at your home around 7:00. I would ask that you dress in formal attire.”

“All right.”

Alexa smiled at her. “Thank you for giving me this chance.” With that she left the librarian standing there, and she and Matthew returned to the palace.

That evening the princess saw her wife to the airport for her trip to the Adams’s retreat in New England with a promise to join her in a few days. Then she returned for her evening with Lauren. Standing in her room contemplating her wardrobe options, she decided on her favorite black tuxedo, the jacket with tails and a stark white shirt with white tie. She was anxious about Lauren coming to the palace. She had not been there since her twenty-sixth birthday party, and so much had happened in those five years. Part of her wanted desperately to give in to the desires both of them so evidently had, but she knew Lauren was a woman of conviction, and friendship was the best route if she ever wanted to see the other woman again.

Just as she finished dressing, Matthew announced Lauren’s arrival. Alexa quickly rushed down the corridor and into the library where her secretary had placed her guest. Opening the door, though, she had to steady herself momentarily at the sight before her. Lauren was dressed in a royal blue gown that brushed the floor and bared her shoulders. The diamonds that Alexa had given her adorned her ears, neck, and hand, but the diamond necklace was especially prominent, sitting perfectly centered against the gentle slopes of the thirty-five-year-old’s breasts, drawing Alexa’s eyes to the treasures she knew hid just beneath the dress. The princess thought she might actually faint for a moment, but she smiled at her company and willed her sexual cognizance into the back of her mind.

“Lauren, thank you for coming. You look beautiful this evening. Blue sets off your eyes. I have always thought so.”

“Thank you, Lex. You look nice too.”

“Dinner will be in the small dining room this evening and shall be served momentarily. Perhaps we should adjourn and take our seats,” she suggested. “May I offer you my arm?”

With a smile at the chivalry, the redhead took the extended arm with her right hand and allowed herself to be escorted to their meal. Alexa made a point to pull out her chair instead of having an attendant do so before she took her own. Dinner started as a quiet affair, neither woman truly knowing what topics were safe for discussion, but the awkwardness began to fade after the first course as they found common ground in books and aviation. Lauren found herself charmed and at ease with the more mature princess. Time had turned her from a zealous hellion into a charismatic adult. She could see why her country was so fascinated by the crowned princess, more so now than they ever had been. The heir had grown up in their time apart.

As dessert was set before them, Alexa refilled Lauren’s wine glass as well as her own. “Well, now that we have had our meal, what could I interest you in doing? Perhaps I could give you a tour of the palace? There are some fascinating features that people do not get on the general tour. The libraries alone should interest you.”

“That sounds lovely. I would love to see the libraries.”

“Wonderful.” When the meal was finished, Lauren thanked Alexa once again before they set out down the corridor. They went to the main entrance of the palace before the princess gestured around them.

“This is the main entrance hall of course. As you can see paintings hang here of every monarch this country has had starting with King George and ending with my mother, Queen Faith. Someday my picture will hang amongst the land’s greatest rulers, God willing of course. And on the other side are various family photographs of interest.”

They perused the hall slowly together, but Lauren paused in front of Queen Alexa’s portrait. “I guess I never realized how much alike you two really looked. This could be you.”

The princess nodded her head. “The only way to really tell that it is not is by the military uniform. My grandmother chose U.S. Marine Corps as her branch of service when she was younger, so the dress uniform is different, but being the military child you were, I am sure you already knew that.”

The redhead nodded. She turned to look at the other side of the hallway but came face to face with a large photograph of Princess Alexa and Princess Meredith on their wedding day. Her heart dropped, but she forced her feelings away as she quickly turned her eyes to the picture next to it. “Queen Lara was a stunning woman,” she mentioned, gazing at a casual photograph of Queen Lara and Queen Alexa together.

“She was that,” Alexa conceded. “Sometimes I wonder what might have happened had they not married. I was told that Queen Alexa originally intended to marry my other grandmother, Lady Gwyneth Jefferson. Had that happened, I probably would not be standing here today. The royal family would look completely different. That is a little known fact.”

“That is quite interesting. I had never realized that.”

“Come. Let me start by showing you the library on the tour. It is the largest one we have.” Both women quietly went about the tour. Alexa explained each room in detail as she presented it. When the many libraries were seen, she took Lauren through the royal offices before suggesting they see the most sacred of places, the private chambers of the royal family members.

“Are you sure that is okay? I would not want to intrude on anyone’s privacy,” Lauren questioned hesitantly.

The brunette paused before answering, “Well, perhaps just mine then. I would certainly not want to be caught snooping around my mother’s room. She would be upset. My quarters are this way.”

Together they went off the younger woman’s wing of the palace. Lauren found her mind racing as Alexa took her into her bedchamber. Her eyes gazed upon the bed that was flanked by nightstands on either side and on them there were photographs. On one side there was a single photo of Meredith in her wedding gown and on the other was one of Alexa standing at the top of the steps of the Cathedral on her wedding day smiling at the crowd. The librarian was drawn to the picture. Without even asking permission, she went to it and picked it up to view closer.

Seeing what she had done, Alexa went and stood next to her. “Meredith says she loves this picture of me. I do not know why. If she only knew what I was thinking when that photograph was taken, I do not think it would reside where it does.”

“What were you thinking?”

“That I had seen you in the crowd. I was sure of it, so much so that I went down to the people to find you. Looking back, I know it was an absurd notion.”

Lauren nodded her head. “I knew it.”

“You knew what?”

The older woman paused in her answer. Figuring she should just be honest, she said, “I knew you had seen me. It was not your imagination.”

“You were there? Why?”

“Because I thought it would help bring me closure, but when I felt your eyes connect with mine, I knew I had been discovered and fled before you had a chance to do anything irrational. To this day I wish I had not done that. It did not bring any closure, simply sadness. In fact, closure did not come until much later.”

Alexa nodded her head. “I understand what you mean.” The women looked at each other intently for a moment. The princess knew it would be so easy to just reach out and touch Lauren. She saw the desires there, and the opportunity had presented itself on several occasions but none so obvious as standing next to her bed. She sensed that all it would take was the first kiss, but she knew she had made a promise to the librarian not to do such a thing. Forcing herself away from the temptation, she crossed the room toward the door. “There are several verandas on which to sit, or perhaps you would like to see my favorite garden.”

“It is getting late. I should be going. I have to work tomorrow morning.”

Alexa nodded her head. “Very well. I will escort you back to your car,” she said, deciding it was best to allow the evening to come to a close before she gave in to any temptations. Extending her arm to her guest, she led the way back out to the front of the palace. Standing at the open door of the car, Alexa smiled. “Thank you for coming this evening. I had a lovely time.”

“So did I. Thank you for having me, Lex.”

“If it would be all right with you, I would like to see you again.”

“I would like that.”

“Would tomorrow night be too soon? I will be leaving the day after tomorrow on family business, but I am free tomorrow. If you are available, I would like to spend the evening with you.”

“All right. It just so happens that I am free. What would you like to do?”

“What about dinner and a movie here at the palace?”

Lauren shook her head. “I have a better idea. Come to my place, and I will make you dinner. I am a little uncomfortable being at the palace.”

“I understand. Fine. That sounds wonderful. I have a meeting at the Pentagon that should adjourn around 5:00, and then I can be there.”

“All right. I will be expecting you around 6:00 then. Is there something in particular you would like to eat?”

Alexa shook her head. “If I remember correctly, everything you make is delicious. I look forward to the surprise.”

The following evening Alexa was still in her meeting when her watch read 6:00. She was tired and irritated that the fellow officers were still debating over the last item on their agenda when she had plans with the most beautiful woman in the world. Finally having had enough, she called for an adjournment with the conversation to be taken up at the next meeting. Going out to her car, she knew she didn’t have time to stop to change, so she just raced off to the librarian’s place with the directions Matthew had provided for her. Pulling up to the front of the building, she frowned. Her ex-lover had given up the nice house Alexa had bought her for a much smaller condo. She knew she didn’t like it, but she also knew she had no say either, so she simply exited her car, and called her security detail to let them know she had arrived safely. Heading inside the princess found Lauren’s door and gave a strong knock.

Lauren was in her kitchen cursing at herself for allowing her heart to feel hurt by the fact that Alexa had not shown up for dinner as she had promised when she heard the knock. Figuring it was the princess, she went to answer the door, but as soon as she opened it, she felt her breath leave her at the woman who stood before her. Alexa was standing in her military uniform looking as sexy as she had ever seen her. Her military decorations took up most of the left side of her shirt and she held her cover in her hand. She was wearing an apologetic gaze.

“I am so sorry, Lauren. My Joint Chiefs of Staff meeting ran much later than I expected. As the Chairman, I could hardly just leave. Finally I had to adjourn even though we were not finished, because I did not want to keep you waiting any longer. Please accept my apology.”

She nodded her head. “Certainly, Admiral Washington. Please come in. Dinner is ready.”

“Thank you,” the princess replied, stepping into the condo. Her eyes scanned the place. Although modest in size, it was tastefully decorated.

“Here. Let me take your cover,” she said, taking it from Alexa’s hand and hanging it on the coat rack near the door. “Would you like a tour?”

“That would be wonderful.”

Dutifully the librarian showed off her humble dwelling, ending with her bedroom. As they stood in the doorway, the brunette gazed at the bed as her mind wandered. For a brief moment she wondered if that was the same bed they had made love in for the last time, but she didn’t dare ask. “You have a lovely place, Lauren. It suits you.”

“Thanks. I have worked hard to get it just as I want it. I guess the only still missing is someone with whom to share it.” Alexa felt her heart accelerate at the comment for a moment until the redhead continued, “But I hope it is just a matter of time before I have a baby.”

“A baby? You are having a baby?” the princess questioned in trepidation.

“No. Not yet. I think someday soon I will. I am not getting any younger, and I have always wanted children.”

“You would do that without a spouse?”

Lauren nodded. “If I wait for a spouse to come along before having a child, I am afraid that door will be closed before I even have a chance. No, I have decided it is time to take control of my life and do what I want.”

They walked back toward the kitchen. “So, when are you planning on getting pregnant?”

“I figured I would start trying in a few months. I would like to be pregnant by my next birthday. Thirty-six is a bit late to begin this process, especially with how many kids I would like to have.”

“How many?”

“I was thinking four was a nice number.”

“Four children? That is a lot of work, is it not, especially for one person?”

Lauren shrugged. She couldn’t believe she was having this discussion with Alexa, but since she was already in the middle of it, she just answered, “It is what I want, and I deserve to get what I want.”

“That certainly is true. If I may ask, how are you going to have a child? Are you going to use a donor?”

“I will have to. I have not decided on any, though. I am still in the process.”

“Do you think that donor is going to be a man or a woman?” Alexa asked as she took a seat at the table. Her eyes surveyed the table settings and intimate candles, and her heart started to make itself known once again.

“What do you mean a man or a woman?”

“Exactly that. Are you going to use a sperm or egg donation? What about a clone?”

“Alexa, most of the world uses sperm donors.”

“Well, the royal family has been doing egg donation for years.”

“Well, I have news for you, Lex. The rest of the world does not necessarily have the resources to do that. It is incredibly expensive to combine two eggs into an embryo. DNA extraction is quite expensive. I did the research, and I cannot afford it.”

“You could do that if you wanted. All you have to do is ask me, and I would help you. I thought I made that clear to you years ago.”

Lauren lowered her head and sighed. “Yes, you did. I remember, but that was a lifetime ago. Friends do not typically step over certain boundaries. That is a boundary I do not wish to cross with you again,” she stated with sharpness to her voice.

The princess sat there stunned for a moment at the tone she had received. She hadn’t ever heard that particular sound in Lauren’s voice. It seemed a cross between being upset at her and saddened by something. Not sure what to say, the princess just said, “I am sorry if I bothered you with these questions. They are none of my business. Please forgive me for being so rude.” The older woman shook her head but didn’t raise it to meet Alexa’s gaze. Instead she just stood there a moment, and before Alexa realized it, she heard the other woman start crying. Immediately she stood from her chair and went to her, placing consoling arms around Lauren’s waist. “Lauren, I am so sorry. Please do not cry.”

Lauren’s head found its way onto Alexa’s right shoulder as arms circled her neck. They were quiet for several minutes. Finally though the librarian began to settle herself with several large cleansing breaths. “I am sorry, Lex. It is hard for me to talk about this. I still have some unresolved emotions on this subject.”

Thinking she was the reason for the unresolved feelings she asked, “Would it help if you talked about it? I am willing to listen.”

Lauren shrugged. “It is just that if I had married Janice I would probably already be pregnant by now. We were going to start a family this year. Sometimes I think I threw away my last chance for a wife and child.”

Alexa could feel that familiar breaking of her heart whenever she was close to her ex. Nevertheless, she tried to remain strong. “Oh, I see. I take it Janice is your ex-fiancée?”

The redhead nodded. “We should have been married by now. I should have been pregnant by now. We were going to do the DNA combination with our eggs. Being a fertility doctor, it was going to be easy for her to get it covered for us.”

“I see. So that really is the method you wanted to use, and now you cannot, because she is no longer in your life.” Lauren gave another nod. Wanting to find out more about the woman who Lauren had fallen for, she asked, “Well, if you still love her, why are you not together?”

Lauren didn’t answer for a moment as she just took in the feeling of Alexa’s body close to her own. She wanted to be honest and tell the woman she loved that she was the reason, but it would serve no purpose. There was nothing either of them could do to change the past. “Do not get me wrong. I loved Janice, still do, but in a way similar to how you have described your relationship to Meredith. Janice is a kind woman, gentle, giving. She treated me so well. I was lucky to have her, but in the end I just did not love her as I wanted to love my spouse. We are still friends today, but that is all we could ever be. If I could not make a relationship work with her, then I am not meant to have a relationship. She is the perfect woman. It is simply too bad that I could not fall in love with the perfect woman.”

“The perfect woman? Well, I am sorry things did not go the way you had wanted.”

“Me too.”

“If you do not mind me asking, you said she was a fertility doctor? Does she practice here in the city?”

“Yes, she has a practice with several other doctors. They are renowned as the best clinic in the country. Why do you ask?”

“Wait a minute. Is her name Janice McQuade?”

“Yes. Do you know her?” Lauren inquired carefully.

Alexa sighed and pulled away from the redhead. “She is one of our doctors. Meredith and I are using that clinic.”

“You are having fertility problems?”

The princess nodded. “Meredith was diagnosed with endometriosis. She has not been able to get pregnant. The doctors are starting to wonder if she ever will,” she admitted slowly. “Dr. McQuade has operated on the both of us to extract eggs. I am going back in next week for another procedure. Everyone believes Meredith is the perfect wife for me, but in reality she cannot do what is required in the law. She cannot give me children. My mother does not want the public to know.” She paused before adding, “No one knows that, Lauren. No one can ever know that. I should not have even told you. My mother made us swear ourselves to secrecy.”

“I would never tell anyone. You know I have always kept you secrets, Alexa. I will not tell this one.”

“Thank you. It is actually kind of nice to have someone to talk to about it. Mere and I have been going crazy. It has taken over our entire lives.” Looking at her feet, the princess paused. She had more to say, but she didn’t think it was wise.

Seeing the look on Alexa’s face, Lauren came toward her. “You can tell me anything, Lex. You know that,” she encouraged.

The princess picked up a wine glass off of the table and took a big sip of the white wine. She needed some liquid courage just then. “Mere and I are far from the happy couple perceived by the media. Do not get me wrong. We are good friends, but we are not in love. Even though we share the same bed, we do not know each other anymore. We have not had sex in three years, and I do not think we ever will again.”

Lauren didn’t know how to respond for a moment. In one way she was thrilled at the idea that the princess was not sustaining any sexual relations with her wife, for it gave her hope, false hope, but hope all the same, because she knew she had what the heir craved. On the other hand, though, she was saddened by the fact that the woman she loved was so miserable with her life. “That must be difficult for you. You used to thrive on the physical closeness. I remember that.”

“Yes, well, now holding hands is as close as we get. An occasional cuddle on a cold night and a chaste kiss at the end of the day is all that greets me. I should have run away from my life when I had the chance,” she grumbled, finishing off the glass in her hand.

Knowing exactly what she was implying, Lauren’s heart palpitated a little. Putting her arms around the taller woman, she pulled her toward her, so their bodies were pressed together. She felt Alexa respond with a sigh as strong arms embraced her. Neither said anything for minutes as Lauren rested with her eyes closed, head under the heir’s chin. She could feel Alexa’s heartbeat, and for a moment it took her back to the summer they met.

She recalled one Saturday morning shortly after her birthday. Alexa has spent the night at her place, and they had gone straight to bed after a short dinner and walk on the beach. The night had been filled with tender fervency. To that very day she could still remember what Alexa felt like, her mouth, her hands adoring her body, but it was the morning after that held such intimate feelings for her. Lying in bed with her head on the brunette’s chest, listening to her breathe and to her heart beating in a slow calming cadence made her feel safe. Large strong hands had caressed her red hair in a gentle display of fondness, much in the same way they were in the present. It was a memory Lauren had locked away in her heart and only thought about in rare moments, but it epitomized the love she and Alexa had once shared, a love she still had for the woman who held her. Her reflections were broken suddenly, though, when she felt the brunette’s heart speed up as heat suffused her hands where she was touching the heir’s back. Immediately she looked up into dark eyes. She recognized what she saw there. Transparent longing stared right at her, paralyzing her for a brief moment. She couldn’t look away nor could she move, but Alexa did nothing, only peered into her blue eyes. Lauren knew it would only take one kiss, and things would revert back to old times, but she knew she shouldn’t. It would only complicate their lives, so instead she did the hard thing and stepped away from the temptation.

“I think it might be best if we ate,” she suggested.

The rest of the night was quiet. Even though Alexa was supposed to stay for a movie afterwards, she made an excuse to leave after she had done the dishes. Lauren agreed even though she didn’t want to, but she knew it was for the best.

Continued in Chapter 8

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