by Alex Tryst

Dedication & Author's Note: See Chapter 1.

Feedback: Drop me a line if you’d like at alextryst@e-scribblers.com.

Copyright © June, 2008 by Alex Tryst. All Rights Reserved.

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Two months later the seemingly blissful marriage between Princess Alexa and Princess Meredith once again made the papers. However, the stories running were not speculation on the heir-to-be but mourning the loss of the heir the world would never know. Because of the queen’s zeal to inform the public of their pregnancy before either of them was ready, the miscarriage that Meredith suffered during her sixth month was even more painful than the one they had already experienced together privately. Neither wanted to talk to the press about it, but official statements had been released on their behalf by Matthew. After the initial physical pain was gone weeks later, though, Meredith told Alexa she wanted to spend some time alone and made arrangements to stay with Janice. The princess agreed that being with the woman she loved during the emotional trauma was in her best interest. In return she spent most of her time with Lauren.

For several weeks Alexa stayed with her lover at the tiny condo, not going anywhere, just being with the librarian and their daughter. One night after Anastasia had been put down, the two women lay together on the couch. “Do you want to talk about how you are feeling?” Lauren questioned. Alexa had spent days in silence just staring contemplatively at her daughter, not wanting to do anything else.

“It is difficult, Lauren. I love Meredith, and I hate seeing her in pain like this. This is her second miscarriage in six years. She tries so hard, but her body just refuses to carry a child to term. I do not know what to do. I can see her becoming more depressed as time passes, and that is not what I want. She is my friend, and I care about her deeply. Both of us want this baby desperately, because we know we can be released from our obligations of this marriage by having a child. Until then, we are both captive to my mother’s demands. Neither of us knows what to do. I cannot even give her the support she needs.”

“Well, does she have anyone that can give her that?”

The princess nodded. “She has Janice. At least that is someone.”

Lauren looked at her quizzically. “Janice? You mean my Janice? My ex-fiancée? Her doctor Janice?”

“The same one.”

“When did that happen?”

“It has been over a year and a half now. Meredith is in love with her.”

“How come no one told me about this?”

“Does it matter?” Alexa inquired.

“Well, no. It is just that Janice is one of my best friends. She did not tell me, and you did not tell me. Why not?”

“Because Meredith deserves her privacy just like I deserve mine. I was not even sure it was going to last, but apparently they are really happy together. It seems kind of strange though. I never imagined Mere going for a woman even older than me.”

“Janice is even older than me. How many years are they apart?”

“Mere is only twenty-five.”

“Janice is forty-two. That is seventeen years difference.”

Alexa shrugged. “But they are happy. I know it seems odd, but I truly believe they are content together.”

“Has Janice told you that?”

“Yes. We have had occasion to talk about it.”

“Does Meredith know about us?” she asked quietly.

“I finally told her.”

“Does she know about Anastasia?”

The princess shook her head. “No. I could not tell her that. We promised we would not tell anyone. It would only hurt her, especially with all the problems she is having.”

“But Janice knows. You do not think she told her, do you?”

“Janice knows as our doctor. She has no right to relay that information to anyone. She understands her obligations. She will not tell Mere.”

Lauren sighed. “I feel so torn over this, Lex. On the one hand, I know you cannot get a divorce until you and Meredith have a baby, but there is a part of me that does not relish the idea of another woman having your child,” she confessed. “I do feel badly for Meredith, but selfishly I want to be the only one. Do you think that makes me a bad person?”

The brunette shook her head. “It is only human, I think. I feel the same way. I want you to have my children, because I love you. Under other circumstances I would not want Mere to have my baby. However, we have no other choice.”

“And what is to become of that child?” the librarian questioned. “She will be the product of a union that was not even based on love. She will be a sacrifice to the country. She will not have a life of her own. That seems so unfair. I know how much you love Anastasia. I can see it whenever you are with her, but what about this child? Will you love her just the same?”

“Of course. She would be my daughter.”

“But say you had her and the abdicated to be with me, you would not even live with her, would you? The queen would probably demand to keep her at the palace. Is that a life a child should have? To have two mothers who do not really want her?”

“First of all, the country wants her. She will not be without love. Secondly, it will be her fate. She will walk the same path I have had to walk my entire life. Chances are that she will take the throne at a young enough age to change the laws as she sees fit to ensure her own happiness. My mother is sixty-six years old. No one is immortal. My daughter will take the throne if I abdicate before she is of marrying age, and if she does not, Mere and I will make sure she does not marry unless it is for love. We do not want that for our child. And if by chance I take the throne, I will change the laws to ensure my own happiness and the happiness of any other heirs to follow by mandating marriage in a different fashion. I do not see it as the merger my mother does, and I would never force my daughter to choose a mate that is not of her own desires.”

“And what happens if you and Mere are never able to have children?”

The princess sighed. “I do not know. I suppose at some point Mere and I will have to talk about that. She is as ready to move on with her life as I am. I think she would not be opposed to a divorce, so she can be with Janice, but after that I have no idea. Either I take the throne or George takes it, but he is adamantly against doing that. He does not feel qualified.”

“Well, he is not, especially with all the responsibilities that have fallen on you recently. You practically run the country now, do you not?”

“Yes, that is true. My mother has relinquished a lot of control to me.”

“I hate thinking on this, Lex, but I cannot help it. If you and Mere do not have a child, Anastasia is your heir. She is the rightful heir, even though no one knows that. Do you honestly think we can hide that forever?”

“I gave you my word that we would, darling, and I am going to do my best to keep it. I think it would only truly be fair to her if we let her decide for herself when she is older what she wants to do about her place in line for the throne. Truthfully she is second in line behind me, and if I were to abdicate, she would be first. I still do not want to tell the people, but I think it is only fair to tell her when she is older. She deserves to know the truth about us at some point.”

The librarian nodded. She wanted her daughter to know Alexa as her other mother, but the problems that posed made her wish to delay the inevitable conversation with their daughter. Fortunately, it was years away, and a lot could change before then. “Tell me the truth. Do you honestly think Meredith will ever have a child?”

“The chances are slim, Lauren. They grow slimmer as the years pass.”

Silence passed for several minutes before Lauren spoke again. There was something she had wanted to discuss with her lover, but she wasn’t sure the timing was the best. However, they had tentatively made their own plans for another child, and she wondered where they stood. “I know this may not be the best time to discuss this, but when Anastasia was born, I told you I wanted to have another baby soon. It has been three months. If I could have another child by my thirty-seventh birthday, that would be good. The older I get the harder it is going to be for us.”

“I know. I would love to have another baby with you, darling, but I think we need to wait a little while longer. I mean Anastasia is only three months old. Do you really want to be pregnant again so soon?”

“I am just thinking about our time line. If we are going to have four kids, there is no time to waste.”

“Women have healthy children well into their forties these days, Lauren. We can afford to wait a little longer.”

“They may have healthy babies in their forties, but I do not want to be forty-three or forty-four with a newborn. I would be in my sixties when they were in their twenties. So would you. I do not want that for our children.”

“That is true. That is a little old to have college-age children. I do not think I would be able to handle that if I were at my mother’s age. Fine. We can start to work on another baby, but give me another three months first. As much as I want this, I need time. We will try again in three months. All right?”

Lauren nodded her head in acquiescence. Even though it threw her own timetable off a little bit, she felt it was worth it if it meant that much to Alexa. She figured her lover still had feelings to sort through regarding Meredith’s miscarriage, and she had pushed for another baby too soon. Nevertheless, she decided she would hold her lover to her three-month hiatus and broach the subject once it was over.

Continued in Chapter 11

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